To think 2 year olds should do as they're told?

[SleepingStandingUp]

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

Naughty step doesn't teach a toddler anything, they've no idea why they're sitting there

2 year olds cannot be reasoned with.

The only advice I can give is to never make an empty threat and never give in or negotiate with terrorists And channel your inner head teacher! Talk in a tone that says you expect to be obeyed. even though its bullshit

They're like dogs, they smell fear

@Steelesauce

I still don't do as I'm told so I certainly don't expect my toddler too

I love this. This is going to be my new mantra

There's no way two year olds are reasonable or consistent. Give up on the naughty step, they have no idea at that age, they are so in the moment.
Sounds like you feel you're doing something wrong. I bet you're not. Most of us struggle with one 2yo, you have two, you're out numbered...just hang on in there!
Be consistent and firm...but also realistic, don't expect them to remember not to do x y z. It does get a lot easier once they can communicate better. (and then the endless talking starts and you find yourself looking back fondly at those now almost mythical times when you were able to finish a whole sentence without being interrupted)

OP as far as timeout goes I tried putting myself in it a few times when they were little and I still couldn't get any peace there. It's not you, they're being little kids. Sorry I missed the second bit of your post, I was too busy laughing at the title 😁.

@Lalliella

Love this thread OP, it’s a real test of who reads past the first paragraph. Two year olds are the devil incarnate. And you’ve got 2 of them. Oh dear. There’s no hope for you. Start your Christmas drinking now!

I did actually buy me two bottles of gin for Xmas 😂

5+the issue with moving them is there's twom. So you move 1, turn around, move 2, turn around and 1 is back up. They're bloody faster than me. Today I let them sit on the window sill because they were sitting nicely and it's the only place they sit still

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

2 year olds cannot be reasoned with.

The only advice I can give is to never make an empty threat and never give in or negotiate with terrorists And channel your inner head teacher! Talk in a tone that says you expect to be obeyed. even though its bullshit

They're like dogs, they smell fear

The best way to make them laugh is my stern voice. I need to ask DSs deputy head for lessons 😂😂(she's scarier than the head)

Yes you give boundaries to a 2 yo, but getting them to abide by those boundaries is very much a work in progress at that age.

Yabu to expect they’ll always do as they’re told

Crap, I fell foul of the confusing posting (is it meant to be a lateral thinking test?) but basically what I’ve said is what I think!

You’re not a crap parent though

They’re like tiny tyrannical drunks.

Like teenagers but less reasonable. Or like Henry VIII: “But I want that wife!! Want her want her want her. Wait… no didn’t want that one, want a different one!!!” They will scream for half an hour because you’ve stopped them from running into a road, or because you broke their cheese in half, or because the cup that was their favourite yesterday is no longer their favourite and why didn’t you guess that.

They’re terrifying.

Op - hilarious! I assume (hope) you are joking.

The vast majority of 2 years olds are megalomaniac egotists with a dictator complex. You can try to get them to comply...

My 2.5 year old DGS is utterly hilarious and he knows it, even when being a little git.
I look after him 3 days a week and he is exhausting and enchanting, I got up off the sofa this afternoon and he ran at me, poked me with a dinosoar and said ‘NO, you sit down there!’

When DH was with us this morning he went to throw a breakable toy down the hallway, DH said No so DGS sat in the doorway nudging his toy into the hall with his foot 🤣

Perhaps reading some child development books might help? 2 year olds are just trying out the world, they can talk, shout, sing and yell ( really loudly) Jump, climb, run and fall over, roll under beds, fall off sofas. Can you imagine how exciting this is? And some boring grown up tries to make you sit still, leave the interesting stair climbing to sit in a high chair.
Just as babies have to mouth things, have to babble and so on so toddlers have to try out everything they can. And it’s bloody frustrating when a grown up stops you! For no reason!
It’s a phase they go through to learn, grow and develop. Then it’s on to the next stage…… wait til you get to the teenage ones 😲

Given that you have already raised one DC to school age OP I don't think it's down to your parenting !

From memory, dealing with one child 18 months - 2 years was a nightmare. Cute and loveable but a nightmare just the same .

Best of luck to you - and cut yourself some slack .

Laughing...saying that the twos are so much easier than the threes...neither age the child didn't do what they were told too but the threes come with attitude

@Merryoldgoat

I don’t even know where to start with this pile of wank.

@Merryoldgoat perhaps a smile at the OP keeping her sense of humour as she looks after her nearly-two-year-old twins ? Or a bit of encouragement?

Sorry took me a while to stop laughing at the title before I could post.

No they don't do what they are told, just keep persisting with teaching them the rules, they'll get it eventually... Just in time for puberty to hit, then you are back to not doing what they are told with added door slamming and swearing...

Your not doing anything wrong OP. My 2 year old listens and does as told I’d say about 50% of the time. The rest of the time he is absolutely feral. Nursery have called him a ‘very independent and mischievous little one’ but he is lush. I do try my very best to make him behave.

I feel ya!
First child was an angel so I naively assumed husband and I were parenting gurus and had bailed parenthood.
Next children were bloody nightmares.

Flip side, they’re all really good teens but the toddler stage is exhausting.

Our fourth (our little oppsie daisy baby) is only 22 months old, I’m 16 years older now and oh man, no words!! 😴

But love to think back to how smug we were with our first and think ‘idiots’ haha

@ComDummings

😂😂😂😂 My DD2 to a tee!!

There's no appropriate punishment for a 2 year old. You just tell them not to. They likely will do it anyway and then you remove them from the situation.

People will scoff and say "you're just lucky that your kids are naturally well behaved"

That doesn't explain why every single child I've looked after as a Nanny of 12+ years has become well behaved shortly after I started looking after them. (50+ children)

With the right approach, children will behave 90-95% of the time (SEN sometimes being an exception)

Really winds me up when people say "ohhh it's just what they're like"

YABVU. They are toddlers- they are learning about the world and exploring.

Please, please don’t chastise them or tell them they’re “naughty”. It’s so damaging.

Boundaries? Yes. Saying “please don’t do that, I’d like you to do this” - yes. Not “stop being naughty!”

I have a 2.5 year old DS. I wouldn’t let him run around a restaurant or church, but I act according to his age - I know he’ll only sit still for a short time, I take toys everywhere to keep him busy, I keep him well fed and rested and I let him know what good behaviour is by asking him to say please, thank you, and reminding him to ask to get down from the table.

But compliance comes with age. Not shouting, punishing or old fashioned modes of discipline.

There is no natural consequence to refusal to get dressed when you cannot simply wait and "miss x fun activity" because where you need to go is the school run and older sibling can't be late.

There are many situations where there are no effective natural consequences for a 2 year old, because they dont give a shit.

For some children, the naughty step is an unpleasant couple of minutes where the attention they were misbehaving in an attempt to get is very much not available. It can be very effective for some children, it worked well for my DS.

@UpsideDownToast bring a nanny is completely different to being a parent. When I worked in a nursery I could get 9 18-24 month olds to sit at their little table on their little chairs and stay sat down for a whole two course meal. Now I struggle to get my two year old to sit at the table for longer than 5 minutes.
I was also a nanny and all of my charges were delightfully behaved, they were rascals for their parents though, just like my own children are rascals for me but a delight for their teachers and nanny.