To think 2 year olds should do as they're told?

[SleepingStandingUp]

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

It's so variable! My son is actually very good and people are amazed. But in all honesty, that's him rather than anything we've done. We don't punish. He's just quite calm and not a risk taker. By nature, he's quite congenial. I've seen his mates and some of them are terrors! But I can't see anything the poor parents are doing 'wrong'. It's luck of the draw at this age in my opinion.

I am still ashamed of myself for a time out I gave my utterly uncomprehending 2 year old. He was naughty, but in retrospect, he truly did not understand why. He is now in his late 20s. I hope he has forgiven me!

They're supposed to be inquisitive about everything.... so that means finding out what their own bodies can do, what objects can do, what people can do. Let them explore. Guidance is great and needed bit we can't talk about punishment at this age.

Their trying behaviour won't be forever. I'm currently telling myself the same and I have the evidence in the form of my older DC.

Good luck!

I have twins , they thrive off each other. I am guessing you have identical boys.

Its part nature part nurture

Discipline is important at this stage . 2yo are very capable of understanding and need to learn tons of shit. My kids never had terrible two's . They were very well behaved. My oldest had delayed terrible two's at 4 though 🤣

That's a hoot well best of luck with that

I left my unruly 2 yearold with a nanny and he was literally like a angel. My mum, the nanny, my in-laws don't put boundaries, rules or parent him like we do or don't follow through threats. I leave him with my mum and he is like a angel. I've had my in laws comment on how he behaves differently when me or DH is around but particularly me. I don't know why it's like this because he has great understanding and reasoning with everyone else apart from me or DH at home. Maybe it's because of the bond we have where he knows we stick through thick and thin no matter what and when he is with other people and we aren't around, he must behave. He sits on their laps lol and doesn't get up and then as soon as he sees us, he goes nuts lol

@SleepingStandingUp

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

you are in for a shock.

You can explain to them that pushing is not nice and we don't do that to each other but you cannot expect a toddler to comply before they are 3yrs old.

they do not need to sit at the table at that age fgs. way too strict.

let them be children and ease up a bit.

it's not the kids that are behaving badly.

You are placing too much expectation on them. We were all 2 once.

Oh and wait till you get to the ''fucking fours''

Erm…. I think you’re not only being unreasonable but also ridiculous. At 2 they have 0 impulse control and their comprehension is still limited. Rather than punish bad behaviour, it should be about rewarding good behaviour i.e kind hands and listening ears. Any ‘punishment’ should be about natural consequences, ie hitting toy against coffee table, told no, if it continues they get removed from that space.

Not the point of your post but telling a 2 year old to go upstairs and come downstairs implies they arent supervised… not sure a 2 year old is old enough for that tbh…

No advice - just to say you are being completely unreasonable and those little old ladies telling you that you are doing a good job know what they are talking about.

I thought I must have been the best mum ever as my boy skipped terrible twos . He must have been a bit behind coz my god is he a nightmare 3 year old. Honestly if he wasn't cute I would send him back to the zoo

2 year olds don't do as they are told and developmentally they aren't really supposed too. They are testing boundaries and exploring their independence and so it is very normal for them to ignore instructions and say no..... Or at least that's what I like to tell myself when I'm telling my one to get her shoes for the 15000000th time that morning . They are all different though - my eldest was a nightmare toddler who threw huge tantrums daily and had a defiant streak very early, my 2nd is actually alot calmer, follows instructions more often and only has a tantrum if she's tired. Both have been parented the exact same way its just down to the child's personality.

My DD is 2 and doesn’t listen at all. She’s actually completely feral, most days I’m trying to stop her from killing the dog somehow, she’s drawn many masterpieces on the walls, she likes to purposely spill her food and drink and she also likes to ask for 50 different drinks in a variety of different cups in order to delay bedtime. When I ask her not to do something she laughs and does it more
There are moments when she’s wonderful, but most of the time I finish the day feeling as though I’ve been struck by a juggernaut.
It’s all good fun!

Two! Ha! Two year olds are beautiful angels. Wait til 5! Hope you get out alive!

Haha loved reading this post. My DD1 was an angel at 2- all blonde curls, blue eyes, a great listener and really no trouble (of course down to my exceptional parenting ). Dd2 had the typical 2 year old tantrums but was generally fine and I could feel fairly confident taking her out in public without fear of mortal embarrassment. DC3 is nearly 2 and he is WILD - I would think he was hard of hearing except if I whisper chocolate very quietly he comes running. Yesterday he tried to launch himself out of the window by climbing on the sofa and leaping towards the windowsill. He drinks the dog water. He cannot sit still for 2 minutes. He shovels all his dinner in his mouth at the same time and waves bye before heading on his way- we have to put food on his plate a bit at a time (like the dog who needs a snuffle mat). the Christmas tree is bare of decorations where he can reach. He doesn't care about being told off. Man, its a good job he is cute!

My 2 year one kids did as they were told , I treat them like dogs . Consistency and praise !
As an aside I was in a shop at the weekend and there were two couples chatting right in the middle and the kids were literally running around the whole shop trashing it and they didn't even look up ..
I actually found it quite shocking that they thought that was A ok and B safe ! 🤷‍♀️

Jeez OP, I feel for you I really do.
Two year olds are really hard work, two two year olds is a nightmare (but lovely too at times).
No advice other than it sounds you’re doing an amazing job (at keeping sane) and keep the gin supply flowing.

DS is just 3 and very verbal, he's spent the last 38 minutes taking about the fiber details of monster trucks, whilst wearing only his pyjamas top because his willy needs some fresh air and was feeling lonely in his pants. I need to get ready for work, I've given up reasoning with him. Small children are illogical

I treat them like dogs wtf?!

Surely a two year old's job description is 'oppose everything said to you and generally fling yourself about when things don't go your way'

Terrible twos.
Threenager.
Fuck off Fours.
Fucks Sake fives.

Can I add Silly Sixes.iswear DS is less sensible now than he's ever been and that's saying something or Screamy Sixes

@MeltedButter ah come on it's tongue in cheek but it's the same principle as bringing up animals . As below , consistency and boundaries ..
some people just aren't very good at parenting children or animals 🤷‍♀️

2 year olds are luck of the draw. If you are calm, firm and consistent, things may be OK some of the time. But they will then be little shits at 3, or 4, or 6, or 9. It isn't you unless you are a complete flower child oh my little PFBs can do no wrong sort of parent. Mine were easy at 2, hell at 4, one was awful at 6 and the other at 9, they were both actually pretty easy teenagers but that was probably because their dad was being the big shit at the time. They're now 18 and 20 and both adorable, mature, sensible and kind.