Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

How not to cooperate at work politely
223

PushedOutPissedOff · 07/12/2021 16:10

So I'm leaving a role where the direction of it as outlined in my JD never materialised, for a job which I think will be a better fit in that regard. All good.

However, the parts of my job which never got going have been absorbed into a colleague's new role and she has started with great gusto with meetings, projects etc all of which by rights should have sat with me but I was never allowed to develop.

AIBU for not really wanting to cooperate with her? She needs me as she is a project person not a systems person and really has no idea how it works and needs my input for a coherent plan.

I only have a few weeks left in this role and I really really really don't want to spend it training her up to do things I should be doing. I feel personally that it is professionally embarrassing to be her 'junior' on this but there is an expectation that I help her.

I am rubbish at work politics but I need some strategies/ideas to get out of it until I leave the job in Jan. I admit I would be pleased if she was unable to do it without my assistance.

AIBU? And how?

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Parker231 · 08/12/2021 07:51

If this is your work ethic I probably wouldn’t want you on the team for the project. No one isn’t replaceable.

Please
or
to access all these features

rookiemere · 08/12/2021 07:57

I reread the OP and subsequent posts.

You're the system expert, not a project manager. Being a system expert is more skilled than generic PM tasks, not sure why you think you'd be perceived as a junior on the project.

She has asked for your help - or roughly translated she has asked you to do the job you're paid for, of providing technical input so that sensible timelines and decisions can be made for the project.

I get that you're angry you didn't get to do it and that you've taken the imminently sensible path of getting yourself a new job, but actually what you're doing feels somewhat petty. The situation is not her fault and perhaps the project is big enough to need a PM and a Subject matter expert- equal but different skills.

Please
or
to access all these features

Namenic · 08/12/2021 08:01

The problem is a management issue not the poor colleague that is taking over. OP needs to write an email stating that it is not possible to train a super user in x weeks and the project needs to resource this role and set up training for the wider team to spread the knowledge.

Here are the important details (that a super user would understand)…. In this way you are prioritising the key details required for the system (which it would be hard to recover when you leave). It would only be able to be interpreted by an appropriately trained person who they will need to contract in. inexperienced people are just going screw it up - and they might as well realise this now than halfway through the project when the cockups have already been made by new person.

Please
or
to access all these features

GnomeDePlume · 08/12/2021 08:22

@stuckdownahole

I would go with the previous posters who advised you to suck it up and be helpful and positive. It's for a few short weeks which will probably be interrupted by Christmas etc.

Even a passive/ indirect refusal to contribute will be noted and I promise that it won't lead your incompetent boss to a moment of blinding realisation.

Being the bigger person isn't fun but it's better for your own pride and reputation. Don't do overtime or be a martyr, but Do Your Best is a good motto.

@stuckdownahole I agree totally.

I am in a similar position to OP. I'm leaving at the end of the year to go to a new organisation. In leaving people are finally realising what I actually did. The main difference is that I am actively trying to be helpful.

@PushedOutPissedOff in a few short weeks this will no longer be your problem. Be helpful, be professional. This doesnt mean you have to abase yourself. Remember you are the expert. Share your expertise.
Please
or
to access all these features

senua · 08/12/2021 08:50

There are a lot of people-pleasers on this thread!

The organisation has treated OP so badly that she is leaving. She owes them nothing. They had the chance to utilise her skills and didn't. They've blown it and it's not OP's duty to try to salvage things at the last minute.

Please
or
to access all these features

YourenutsmiLord · 08/12/2021 08:58

Hear, hear Senua

Please
or
to access all these features

WhenSepEnds · 08/12/2021 08:58

@senua

There are a lot of people-pleasers on this thread!

The organisation has treated OP so badly that she is leaving. She owes them nothing. They had the chance to utilise her skills and didn't. They've blown it and it's not OP's duty to try to salvage things at the last minute.

Finally an honest answer!
Please
or
to access all these features

Nothinbut · 08/12/2021 09:00

@senua

There are a lot of people-pleasers on this thread!

The organisation has treated OP so badly that she is leaving. She owes them nothing. They had the chance to utilise her skills and didn't. They've blown it and it's not OP's duty to try to salvage things at the last minute.

I don't think it's people pleasing to not be bitter and spiteful to a colleague who had no input into the decision that annoyed OP. You can do a handover and also not help with that particular thing as OP hasn't done anything toward it so its reasonable to say that. But what does it really achieve except to make you look a bit pathetic.
Please
or
to access all these features

TractorAndHeadphones · 08/12/2021 09:01

@mathanxiety

Give her the help she needs.

While you're at it, ask her how she managed to get the role of developing the area you were hired for. You may well be able to get some tips you could use in your new job.

OP has already stated that it’s because of manager priority. Her manager didn’t want it, colleague’s manager did.
Please
or
to access all these features

WhatTimeIsItMrGinola · 08/12/2021 09:04

@Nothinbut saying "no,I cant help" is being "bitter and spiteful" is it? Grin
Wow, what a rainbow filled, glittery, happy world you are lucky enough to live in if that is your view Grin can I live there too?

Please
or
to access all these features

TractorAndHeadphones · 08/12/2021 09:07

@Randommother

I can’t believe people are advising you to be obstructive. I was once in your colleague’s position and it nearly broke me. My manager had given me a project to run which I didn’t have the skill set for, or the strength of character to turn down. The experienced person in my team thought the project should have been his, and went out of his way to make me fail. He would withhold valuable information, not attend meetings, not answer my requests for help, he even said to me one day as I was in charge it wasn’t up to him to train me. I used to drive home from that job in tears. My relationship at the time failed, I lost my house, and I nearly lost my sanity. It ended with me leaving the job and the career I’d spend years training for. Don’t underestimate the impact of your actions on other people, yes you are feeling aggrieved and rightly so, but it’s because of a management decision and not the fault of your colleague.

You’re projecting your own situation onto this which is completely irrelevant. OP is leaving - if the person doesn’t have the skill set they will need a new SME anyway. If the person fails it won’t be OP’s fault.

Also sorry that happened to you but it’s your manager’s fault isn’t it? They should have made the person co-operate. I’ve dealt with a few in my time and gotten management support to get them to submit. Or gotten other people. Yes he was obstructive but your senior managers should have stepped in.

Really not the same and those of us in IT projects know the consequences of helping
Please
or
to access all these features

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/12/2021 09:08

I really wouldnt be uncooperative OP

This is not her fault. You're pissed off at your manager and your solutions were to leave (which I agree is the best course of action) and sabotage the person who is doing the job you wanted.

What does that achieve? As far as I can see it will achieve-
Making this new person who hasn't done anything wrong' job harder
Making everyone think they were right not to give you the project work because you're shit at it
Burn your bridges if you ever wanted to return to work there or ever worked with your current colleagues at a different place

You say you're a yes woman but doing your job and helping a colleague on a project in a technical expert role isnt being a yes woman its doing your job well.

P.s. in my job the more junior people run the projects and the more senior people contribute / sponsor as a lot of the project work is admin based- chasing people for their contribution, coordinating it all, setting up meetings, setting deadlines etc

Please
or
to access all these features

TractorAndHeadphones · 08/12/2021 09:10

Also @Randommother we frequently have to taken on projects where people have left! Thousands of lines of code with no explanation and shoddy documentation

There’s really no such thing as something being reliant on one person…

Please
or
to access all these features

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 08/12/2021 09:16

@Namenic has a sensible perspective. If OP is the SuperUser and therefore must be being replaced then it would make far more sense for the compnay to wait until that replacement is in house to start ths new task - one that an SU was hired to do in the first place.

@PushedOutPissedOff can you talk to colleagues manager and explain that to them? Yes, you are pissed off but you can only see bigger issues, longer delays etc if you are forced to start something you cannot finish.

Gives you a chance to explain your peeve, the reason you are leaving AND sound like you trying to maintain your integrity.

Please
or
to access all these features

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 08/12/2021 09:17

Sorry, meant to include, it would give colleague and her manager chance to rearrange their project schedule too.

Please
or
to access all these features

Thetodolist · 08/12/2021 09:23

What @HoardingSamphireSaurus said

You then get to be the adult in the situation :) instead of ducking and diving which doesn’t look great!

Please
or
to access all these features

CalamariGames · 08/12/2021 09:28

I wouldn't blame the colleague and want her to fail but I wouldn't be working hard for a company that has treated me so badly I had to leave. I would be doing the bare minimum.

Please
or
to access all these features

Sittingonabench · 08/12/2021 09:36

You sound like decent person but I do think you are allowing spite to overtake you here. If you are being asked to lend your skill set to support a colleague then I would think that is a reasonable expectation of your job. You are leaving but you haven’t left yet and they are still paying you to do your job. Also in my industry helping colleagues can open doors in odd ways so refusing to could close doors in the future (not necessarily with this company). I also agree hoping that this person fails so that you get a ha moment and boost your self esteem would make me dubious about having you in charge. I think this is misdirected anger but I would suck it up, be as helpful as you can be while limiting the amount you take on as you have limited time.

Please
or
to access all these features

senua · 08/12/2021 09:38

@Thetodolist

What *@HoardingSamphireSaurus* said

You then get to be the adult in the situation :) instead of ducking and diving which doesn’t look great!

Interesting. OP has said she is "a yes woman, not always to my own benefit". Perhaps this is a good time, where it doesn't matter if it backfires, to practise being assertive.
Please
or
to access all these features

rookiemere · 08/12/2021 09:55

I'm not sure refusing to cooperate and ducking out of meetings is how I would view cooperation.
I think those suggesting OP find the least painful way of documenting the information and pointing out gaps - only having one super user and letting them leave without another being trained up - have it on the nail.

Please
or
to access all these features

rookiemere · 08/12/2021 09:59

Sorry I meant to say assertion rather than cooperation Blush

Please
or
to access all these features

LadyCatStark · 08/12/2021 10:12

It’s ridiculous to refuse to help a person out because you don’t want to look like a junior. Who cares? You’re leaving!

Please
or
to access all these features

billy1966 · 08/12/2021 10:19

OP,
I think redirecting to other users is the way to go and to your manager if you have no wish to be involved.

This is on your manager.
I think that can be made clear to her manager if necessary.

Avoid the meeting and leave asap.

I do think it would be fair to point out to this person that they should source support for this area sooner rather than later as you will not be available.

Why do you imagine your manager was so obstructive to you in this position?

Please
or
to access all these features

UniversalAunt · 08/12/2021 10:21

‘ I'm the only superuser in the org. There is no one else. Other people know parts of it but not the whole. ’


… & they are letting you go?
After you have raised your concerns?

I can only hope that there is a proper formal handover plan to run in parallel for the month before your last day of work (which includes taking all your annual leave allowance & public holidays).

Somehow I think not.

Please
or
to access all these features

FrenchBoule · 08/12/2021 10:32

I’d go with @HoardingSamphireSaurus suggestion but I agree with @senua.

OP, have you got something like exit interview? If so then I would highlight that this is the reason why you’re leaving.

Don’t take it out on the new person as they might be an innocent party if they were unaware of the position you were put in.

I do understand why you’re feeling the way you do- denied a job then asked to train somebody who got it.

Your manager is at fault here not the new person.

Different managers have different priorities unfortunately you got the wrong one.

Speak to the new managers person and highlight the issues(what needs to be done,you don’t have to say how)this way you’re not obstructive but cooperative and save your face. I’d do it by email and cc as many people from the project as you can.

Sometimes it’s hard to overcome the emotions when injustice is happening but it will be better for you in the long run if you ever have to work with any of these people in the future.

Good luck in your new job 🙂

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.