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How not to cooperate at work politely
223

PushedOutPissedOff · 07/12/2021 16:10

So I'm leaving a role where the direction of it as outlined in my JD never materialised, for a job which I think will be a better fit in that regard. All good.

However, the parts of my job which never got going have been absorbed into a colleague's new role and she has started with great gusto with meetings, projects etc all of which by rights should have sat with me but I was never allowed to develop.

AIBU for not really wanting to cooperate with her? She needs me as she is a project person not a systems person and really has no idea how it works and needs my input for a coherent plan.

I only have a few weeks left in this role and I really really really don't want to spend it training her up to do things I should be doing. I feel personally that it is professionally embarrassing to be her 'junior' on this but there is an expectation that I help her.

I am rubbish at work politics but I need some strategies/ideas to get out of it until I leave the job in Jan. I admit I would be pleased if she was unable to do it without my assistance.

AIBU? And how?

OP's posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 07/12/2021 16:49

@Shedmistress

'Oh gosh this was never part of my role, I have no idea how to do that'.

Yes, this.
"I'm not sure how to do that... I've never had to do it" is factual and fine.
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TillyTopper · 07/12/2021 16:49

YABVU. You are leaving the role... why on earth wouldn't you help her set something up and do it? It's for a few weeks and you are moving on. It would be very mean and petty to not help her and see her struggle when you don't intend to do the job anyway!

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TangerineLimes · 07/12/2021 16:50

I don't know the full story but you just sound vindictive here.

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kittykarate · 07/12/2021 16:53

The sad thing is that you are not 'hurting' the organization that has let you down, but probably causing more grief to the new colleague.

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/12/2021 16:55

I feel I'm getting a clear sense on this thread from those who've been treated like the OP and those who've been fortunate enough never to go through that.

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TractorAndHeadphones · 07/12/2021 16:56

@Cocomarine

Well, I don’t believe in karma, but wouldn’t it be interesting if you turned up in new job and some arsehole was deliberately obstructive in showing you what you needed to see because they were jealous that you’d been given what they wanted to do?

Do come back with another AIBU if that happens 🤣

This is a completely different situation though.
OP and the colleague have vastly different skill sets. If the colleague has been given the job but isn’t capable she’ll need a technical consultant for the duration of it. A few weeks isn’t going to make much difference.

It’s different if they were of the same calibre, or someone with more knowledge was deliberately being obstructive.

Maybe I’m projecting but as a technical staff I’ve seen too much of this. Projects given to ‘project managers’ or similar people who are very good at politics but have no idea of the problem domain. They then expect others to do the heavy lifting.

In fact OP in this scenario I’d be wary of helping because anything that goes wrong will be blamed on you. Someone leaving is a good scapegoat.
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whatausername · 07/12/2021 16:56

Well, isn't your new place so lucky to have you Hmm

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tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2021 16:57

@TillyTopper

YABVU. You are leaving the role... why on earth wouldn't you help her set something up and do it? It's for a few weeks and you are moving on. It would be very mean and petty to not help her and see her struggle when you don't intend to do the job anyway!

It's not that she didn't intend to do the job, she was never given the chance to do the job she was hired to do.
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esloquehay · 07/12/2021 16:57

I really feel for you, OP, as that is a crappy situation for you to be put in.
Honestly, though, unless new girl has been a dick towards you in some way, the decent thing to do would be to help her.
🤷

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WhatDidISayAlan · 07/12/2021 16:58

As someone who's started Exec Assistant jobs with JDs full of interesting duties to do where the reality is just diary bashing all day, I have a lot of sympathy with the OP. I don't think it's vindictive - I'd just concentrate on your current workload and a handover doc for the replacement for your current role.

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TractorAndHeadphones · 07/12/2021 17:00

Also why do people keep saying
‘New girl’? Which somehow implies that OP’s obstructing someone hired to replace her?

OP has never been able to do the job that has been absorbed into an existing colleague’s new role. Nobody has done this job. Not the colleague, not the OP. So this has nothing to do with the OP. From her understanding colleague would need help but OP wasn’t formerly doing the job anyway.

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TractorAndHeadphones · 07/12/2021 17:01

And therefore has nothing to handover!
It’s not really good form to be starting new things before you leave anyway. Your only obligation is to handover what you have done and wrap up.

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NativityDreaming · 07/12/2021 17:04

Just tell her the truth, that was never part of your job so you are unable to help her do it. Perhaps your manager could step in and direct her.

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SusieBob · 07/12/2021 17:07

Just grow up and help her.

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Thetodolist · 07/12/2021 17:07

Sympathies OP. BUT Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on.

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Hankunamatata · 07/12/2021 17:07

You have a new job that's a better fit. Not this other persons fault your role didnt plan out.

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tallduckandhandsome · 07/12/2021 17:10

@SusieBob

Just grow up and help her.

Just grow up and stop piling on the OP.
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Anaximedes · 07/12/2021 17:13

This happened to me. Annoying, but I would help her. Don't go massively overboard with overtime or anything like that, and try to help her to learn stuff that she can feasibly be able to do herself rather than spoonfeeding it. And make it clear to her in some pleasant way that you consider yourself to be her colleague on this, not underling, even though she's in charge of the task. It will be better for you professionally in the long run to do this, if this is a profession for you, rather than "just a job". She might have sway with a hiring committee or be on one later in your career, or become a work-friend who is useful to you later (and hopefully vice versa). Be strategic. News of perceived slights and ungenerousness travel far in this interlinked world!

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senua · 07/12/2021 17:14

I'm behind you, OP. The colleague is not your problem.
Deflect her off to somebody else. Be busy doing some other 'important' work that needs to be completed before you leave.

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BeaMends · 07/12/2021 17:15

Be passively helpful. Don't go out of your way to volunteer information, just answer direct questions - unless they relate to the part of the role which you were supposed to have and didn't get, in which case the suggestion of the pp upthread is good.

You might find she thinks she knows it all already and doesn't take your input on board anyway. I once had to train someone up like that. We had two weeks, and after week one, I thought 'Sod it, if she won't listen to me, she can cock it up once I've gone'.

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Shedmistress · 07/12/2021 17:16

@MalbecandToast

Wow. No, seriously don't be a cow and just help her! Why WOULDN'T you?! You sound bitter as hell Confused

Why is it being a cow?
If the company wanted her to use these skills they would have. They didn't so she is free to go having not shared her expertise with them.
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senua · 07/12/2021 17:18

News of perceived slights and ungenerousness travel far in this interlinked world!
OP would help, of course, if she could and other BS. But wot-Shedmistress-said.
It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it.

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Hankunamatata · 07/12/2021 17:19

So you wrote a coherent plan, email it to rr and managers then walk away with head held high. I wouldn't risk my industry reputation over being petty

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Spidey66 · 07/12/2021 17:19

If she's truly as ineffective as you say, it will come out after you've left, surely?
In fact, if you support her now, it will be all the more obvious when you've gone how much she relies on you.

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Benjispruce5 · 07/12/2021 17:20

Take all your leave, be unavailable.

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