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How not to cooperate at work politely
223

PushedOutPissedOff · 07/12/2021 16:10

So I'm leaving a role where the direction of it as outlined in my JD never materialised, for a job which I think will be a better fit in that regard. All good.

However, the parts of my job which never got going have been absorbed into a colleague's new role and she has started with great gusto with meetings, projects etc all of which by rights should have sat with me but I was never allowed to develop.

AIBU for not really wanting to cooperate with her? She needs me as she is a project person not a systems person and really has no idea how it works and needs my input for a coherent plan.

I only have a few weeks left in this role and I really really really don't want to spend it training her up to do things I should be doing. I feel personally that it is professionally embarrassing to be her 'junior' on this but there is an expectation that I help her.

I am rubbish at work politics but I need some strategies/ideas to get out of it until I leave the job in Jan. I admit I would be pleased if she was unable to do it without my assistance.

AIBU? And how?

OP's posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

BeaMends · 08/12/2021 00:17

@SleepingStandingUp

So your manager Bob didn't think your project A was a priority and told you do do B and C. You thought B and C were beneath you so looked for and got a different job more like A. Great.
Now a different manager Jo has said actually A is important, my team with do it and so has given it to Mary.
Mary concedes that she doesn't have the expertise but her manager has given it to her so she can't exactly refuse and insist it given to someone who has handed in their resignation. Instead she asks that person for help, not as a junior but as someone more competent in the systems.
However you're so sulky that Bob said no to you that you hope Mary screws up and they all regret the day you left.

That about cover it?

That seems about it. And now the OP has to train the newbie up in project A, despite never being allowed to actually do that part of the job herself.

I'm with Team OP here.
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Wotsitsits · 08/12/2021 02:51

Be busy, unavailable, don't volunteer information. I'm team OP too.

I would have said the opposite until I experienced this kind of crap firsthand.

It's not personal against your colleague. You can be perfectly civil and polite and un co operative.

Crack on OP and more power to you. Check out the antiwork movement too

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ElftonWednesday · 08/12/2021 03:28

Maybe I read it wrong, but I thought the OP is leaving because the interesting bits of her job never materalised because they were given to someone else. Someone else who can't actually do that work because she needs training on it by the OP. And people want the OP to be helpful? Christ. You don't owe them anything, OP. Go on leave, direct her to other people, be unavailable.

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silentpool · 08/12/2021 03:45

Seeing as you never did those aspects of the job, you cannot be expected to help with that. I would however do a fulsome handover for the aspects that you did do. That keeps you in the role of colleague, rather than junior.

Result being, you can't be blamed if her projects go wrong but if you need something down the line, you also haven't burned your bridges.

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arcof · 08/12/2021 03:50

I don't understand why you care what people think if you're leaving? Surely if you contribute they'll just see it as helping out your replacement? When people are leaving they don't lead things in their last few weeks! So why would they find it odd?
Suck it up and get on with it, you never know when your paths may cross with these people again, plus your reasoning is ridiculous to be frank. Just hold your head high, you're the one leaving, what's to be ashamed of!

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Hoesbeforebroes · 08/12/2021 04:49

@CaveWoman1

Do you work for the local authority by any chance? They pull this shit all the time. We had a Snr Manager start in our team, & he didn’t have a fucking clue how to do the job, so the poor woman who also went for the role was asked to spend the next few weeks training him up. Taking the puss to a whole new level.

Public sector in general are good at this type of shitty one-upmanship. I would also be bitter in your position. Don’t train her up.

Sounds familiar!

I spent the next few weeks/months being either very busy or very sick, until I found a better role.
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MrsLargeEmbodied · 08/12/2021 04:58

actually i would deflect her to someone else, because you wont be around.
you could write a basic guide
but again you wont be around.
she needs to learn for herself

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mathanxiety · 08/12/2021 05:48

Give her the help she needs.

While you're at it, ask her how she managed to get the role of developing the area you were hired for. You may well be able to get some tips you could use in your new job.

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Marvellousmadness · 08/12/2021 05:59

Imagine the roles in reverse

Help the woman out op! Not for the company but for her :) be the bigger person

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Randommother · 08/12/2021 06:10

I can’t believe people are advising you to be obstructive. I was once in your colleague’s position and it nearly broke me. My manager had given me a project to run which I didn’t have the skill set for, or the strength of character to turn down. The experienced person in my team thought the project should have been his, and went out of his way to make me fail. He would withhold valuable information, not attend meetings, not answer my requests for help, he even said to me one day as I was in charge it wasn’t up to him to train me. I used to drive home from that job in tears. My relationship at the time failed, I lost my house, and I nearly lost my sanity. It ended with me leaving the job and the career I’d spend years training for. Don’t underestimate the impact of your actions on other people, yes you are feeling aggrieved and rightly so, but it’s because of a management decision and not the fault of your colleague.

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CiderJolly · 08/12/2021 06:13

Don’t deliberately make someone’s life that bit harder for the sake of it. That would be really petty, have a bit of self respect for goodness sake.

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Nothinbut · 08/12/2021 06:13

Is your new job within the same organisation?

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SalsaLove · 08/12/2021 06:25

I’m 4 months into a job where my colleague refuses to help me. If she bothers to answer a question it will be a half answer. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes before I arrived but I seem to be the one paying the price for someone’s misdeed. I probably won’t pass my probationary period because she’s been an absolute dick and I’ve had to plod along doing my best. So, if you can possibly help it, don’t be a dick to your colleague.

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NameChangeNameShange · 08/12/2021 06:26

So your boss wasn't interested, and told you to do boring stuff, and you couldn't change their mind - but her boss has decided it's worth doing and is prompting her to crack on.

Your problem was/is your boss.

Sounds like your boss was happy to pass over new projects to a different department, and that's on them. No one in the kick off meeting is judging you 1) because you're leaving so why would you lead a project? And 2) because obviously a different department is taking the lead so then why would someone in your old department (or in deed you) take the lead?

Op, don't be a dick. It's not just your new colleague who'll remember that you were - it's their boss, the others in the project. Depending on your industry you can find out that the world is very small.

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GucciBear · 08/12/2021 06:42

I hope you manage to sort this successfully. Many years ago when I tried to deal with this sort of thing I was accused of "dumb insolence"!!

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Platax · 08/12/2021 06:51

I think in your shoes I would smile politely and say that, as I had never been allowed to do the roles in question despite my JD, I wasn't in a position to train anyone else to do them.

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FrippEnos · 08/12/2021 07:03

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I feel I'm getting a clear sense on this thread from those who've been treated like the OP and those who've been fortunate enough never to go through that.

And there are also on here those that have been on the other side and had to deal with the passive aggressive BS of the person that is leaving.
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Parker231 · 08/12/2021 07:06

Why does it matter whether you are a contributor or leading the project? You’re leaving so be an adult and contribute fully until you leave.

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Terfydactyl · 08/12/2021 07:35

@rookiemere

I think there is an in between route. I can see why you don't want to go to that meeting so would a couple of recorded handover team sessions work instead? That way some of the knowledge is saved, but you're not forced to attend an awkward meeting.

I wouldn't record it. When it all goes tits up, it will completely be blamed on OP. It will all be OPs fault and if anything in the record could lead to it all being OPs fault then she will forever be blamed.
I'd want my name nowhere near the whole lot.
I would keep the colleague going around others to get info. I'd do my damndest to get out of a minuted meeting.
I'd do anything to not have my name attached.
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stuckdownahole · 08/12/2021 07:38

"I feel personally that it is professionally embarrassing to be her 'junior' on this but there is an expectation that I help her."

That expectation derives from the fact that you are still being paid to work there and to not help is to be a piss-taker, basically. It's up to you to decide if you want to join the ranks of the piss-takers.

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Namenic · 08/12/2021 07:41

OP - it would be mean and unprofessional not to train her.

BUT if it is not possible to train her in the time period given, then give a high level plan and instructions eg set up xyz. Hand over the important parts in a document (so people cannot blame you for not giving a good handover). You should make it clear that a full handover is not possible in the time period and a contractor would be needed to fill the temporary gaps.

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GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 08/12/2021 07:45

Be very busy and ask her to schedule time in with you

Or 'oh, this was part of the role I wanted to develop, I never got the opportunity, so apologies but I don't really know how to do this'

Take as much annual leave as possible

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GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 08/12/2021 07:47

'Im leaving on X date, I'd suggest you get X or Y to assist you as I won't be available to assist ongoing'

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TheOpenRoad · 08/12/2021 07:49

Really selfish and upsetting behaviour not to knowledge transfer. You get paid to do work for the company, this sounds like it's asking for your domain knowledge to support a project. You would be petty not to cooperate and if your new role is with the same company, you better hope it doesn't get back to your new manager.

I had a similar situation recently where someone was politely refusing to cooperate with an impact to the business. I had a word with her new receiving manager and let's just say she's fully cooperating now.

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Nothinbut · 08/12/2021 07:51

It sounds like either your manager was the issue, or perhaps you could have advocated for yourself better. Either way you can avoid being obstructive whilst not handing everything on a plate. I'd also go to the meeting, I guarantee no one else will be arsed if you 'should' have been leading it, they probably haven't thought about it much. I'd help with general things but be honest and say I had my superuser training from x, I haven't done anything towards this as it didn't end up forming part of my role.

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