to think you can tell when someone is 'very' wealthy

[nothingbutsnow]

.....more due to how they behave, a sort of self possession than actual money signifiers like clothes, jewellery, etc?

By wealth I mean perhaps more than just well off.

It's something i thought about a few days ago in a garden centre, a family passed by us with teens and there was just something obvious yet not easily described. Clothes were sort of 'anti-mumsnet', like skinny jeans, bright tops, nothing remarkable visually. It made me realise I had observed this before but never thought much of it.
It was more a sort of looming self confidence, not especially pleasant, but noticeably interesting! Not rude or ignorant but disconnected from their surroundings enough to tread on your toes.
I've seen discussions on MN about such things in the past, and the difference in my experience has been they are rarely thin, but more buxom, tall, strident. The teen girl was in skinnies, tshirt and trainers (nothing remarkable) but she had an expression that I can't describe.

There doesn't seem to be an interest in trends at all, especially fashion.

People on here always say it is battered up old Barbour jackets, moth eaten cashmere and dog hair, but I think this is a stereotype rarely seen outside of the rural eccentric.
To me the give away is posture (not so much elegant as assertive), air of disinterest and a certain way of existing in/taking up space differently.

None of this is important, but it's something i noticed. Anyone agree that it is indefinable yet obvious?

@ssd

I agree

Money behind you gives you a confidence that cant be faked

I think it depends on where the money comes from! There are those who were born into inherited wealth and there are those who have won the lottery, shacked up with a footballer etc., the two groups are very different The first group has that quiet confidence but is rarely brash, the latter are often brash, in your face, presumably because they're now out ot their comfort zone.

[quote PegasusReturns]@HaveringWavering

My dearly departed granny, who was titled, worked in a garden centre in her retirement

She was quite the sight in her MaxMara slacks and pearls. Granted it wasn’t the back of B&Q but the idea that posh people don’t go to garden centres is ridiculous [/quote]
Brilliant

Plenty of fancy people in garden centres round here. For those who like gardening, visiting a garden centre is a good way to pass the time, especially if you are into gardening. Even if they are billionaires and could pay someone else to do it! Who'd have thought?

These threads fascinate me

Tbh I kinda know what the op means. I used to own a cleaning company and lots of our clients were very wealthy.
They are kind of glossy and shiny. They carry themselves differently and have an air of confidence that is very natural. I was scared of them

@ILoveHuskies

These threads fascinate me

Tbh I kinda know what the op means. I used to own a cleaning company and lots of our clients were very wealthy.
They are kind of glossy and shiny. They carry themselves differently and have an air of confidence that is very natural. I was scared of them

To be honest I’d be scared as well if I saw anyone fitting op’s description. Taking up space in an indescribable way, heads attached to shoulders differently than normal, inexplicable indifferent expressions. Proper Sam & Dean territory.

Honestly, what is with this ridiculous idea that people who possibly have a bit of money are otherworldly supernatural creatures of the night? They’re just people. Stop putting them on a pedestal with this silly insistence that the very way they take up space in a garden centre wearing skinny jeans elevates them above normal humanity.

Are we talking Jeffrey Epstein / Ghislaine Maxwell rich?😣

Could just as easily be WC. We still wear our skinnies, coloured clothes and trainers, are often 'buxom', and some of us dare to go about our business as though we have as much right to occupy space as posher people. Some of us are even a little bit arrogant and self absorbed and get in other people's way. I agree with you about anti MN though. The rules about clothes on here bare no resemblance to what I see in RL.

However, by virtue of the fact that they do anything at all themselves in relation to their gardens, they are self-defining as not really all that rich relative to people who are so obscenely wealthy that they would never have any need or interest in setting foot in a garden centre and probably would not know what one even was.

No, that only works if you view having anything to do with your garden as menial and akin to scrubbing your own floors -- whereas for many people of all levels of income, gardening, plant-hunting etc is somewhere between an art and a beloved and absorbing pastime. The rich may not be turning their own compost heap, and they may well have staff in the garden and/or employ the services of a high-end garden designer, but they could well be browsing in a specialist nursery for a specific rose.

Going by your description, this family wouldn't be 'very wealthy'

I've seen some who would closely fit your stereotype and in general:

. DH is from a LMC/MC background who has done well in his profession. Usually high level management (director possibly) in a large/multinational organisation earning in the region of 200-300k a year (after tax)

.Mum is similar class, may have gone to university but has been largely a SAHM

.Children are privately educated.

.Family could have spent time as expats at some point.

.Not lefty types by any means

They have an overall aura of smoothness but it's rather muted and unremarkable. They portray an all-round acceptable image but they don't want to stand out as they don't have the confidence to express their true selves.

The sparkle of self-made entrepreneurs is lacking (new money) as well as the truly aristocratic polish and behaviour (old money). So not really well-off but perhaps content with what they have achieved.

@HaveringWavering No. You are just not getting it.

You seem to think that the only reason anyone would possibly go to a garden centre is if they couldn't afford to just pay someone else to go. Plenty of people genuinely enjoy doing things like that regardless of their level of wealth. It has nothing to do with whether or not they could pay someone else to do it. You think all the Hollywood stars who walk around LA picking up Starbucks and shopping couldn't just send assistants to do all that? Of course they could, but they like to be out and about doing things, like the rest of us.

I'm not sure why you're not quite grasping that rich people also have hobbies like the rest of us, and plenty of them enjoy living a 'normal' life. It's nothing to do with being able to afford to outsource things or not. Yes, I've met oligarch types (and their offspring) who would never go to a garden centre, because they think they're above it. It's not about money, it's about attitude.

At the very least this thread has weeded out the gardeners from the non gardeners

. DH is from a LMC/MC background who has done well in his profession. Usually high level management (director possibly) in a large/multinational organisation earning in the region of 200-300k a year (after tax)

They have an overall aura of smoothness but it's rather muted and unremarkable. They portray an all-round acceptable image but they don't want to stand out as they don't have the confidence to express their true selves.

The sparkle of self-made entrepreneurs is lacking (new money) as well as the truly aristocratic polish and behaviour (old money). So not really well-off but perhaps content with what they have achieved.

OMG, & I know you actually didn't intend this to be a joke! 😆😆

The couple I know whose net worth is in the low 8 figures would never visit a garden centre because they have paid staff for that. The couple I know whose net worth is closer to 9 figures are extremely into gardening and whilst they could certainly afford people to do that work for them, actually enter their garden into competitions. She absolutely loves the garden centre, it’s her main hobby. They do, however, employ full time gardeners at their 4 other homes across the world.

@HaveringWavering

“Very wealthy” people wouldn’t be in the garden centre. They’d pay a company to buy plants and maintain their garden and indoor plants. Even if they liked gardening, they’d send someone else to get the plants and equipment.

I once met a woman who was friends with the parents of one of my university friends. She asked me where I had bought the present that I brought along with me. I told her “Debenhams”. She looked at me quizzically and said “ah yes, I think I may have seen that shop once, I must try it one day!”

As PP's have said, it depends whether they enjoy gardening themselves! Being wealthy means you can do whatever interests you, like my wealthy friend's Dad, who decided to become a working farmer, because he absolutely loved it.

He had a trust funds and multiple properties (including a farm) that the family would live in at different times of the year (the children had tutors when they were young, then boarded). Staff ran the farm if he wasn't there. He spent loads of time at livestock markets, which are hardly posh! But, he loved animals and working the land, so that's what he chose to do.

@Secretdancers I’m showing my age by calling it a till, it’s an iZettle terminal or some such, and it’s definitely been staffed by Martin Ephson as I have seen him serving customers. It’s probably not something he does all the time, to be fair.

Speaking for the US, but think Gwynneth Paltrow for the ultimate in wealthy chic: skinny, subtle plastic surgery, a good glow, committed to health and wellness, successful, and possibly a bit clueless when it comes to the lives of people who can’t afford $500 facial tools.

Hilarious thread. I have a house with tennis courts and a pool and a second home abroad. And I bloody love a garden Center.

To answer the original question, yes! The very wealthy are easily identifiable. They are tirelessly posting on MN stating the fact. Whenever a thread appears with the most tenuous link to wealth, out they come with their DHs huge salaries, their sprawling homes and titled grannies to tell you all about it.

@5128gap

To answer the original question, yes! The very wealthy are easily identifiable. They are tirelessly posting on MN stating the fact. Whenever a thread appears with the most tenuous link to wealth, out they come with their DHs huge salaries, their sprawling homes and titled grannies to tell you all about it.

@5128gap

To answer the original question, yes! The very wealthy are easily identifiable. They are tirelessly posting on MN stating the fact. Whenever a thread appears with the most tenuous link to wealth, out they come with their DHs huge salaries, their sprawling homes and titled grannies to tell you all about it.

so true!

I was going to say that good skin in men is probably down to having shaves by barbers and hot towel treatments. You can see a difference after.

If you are posh you don’t take your family to a garden centre

So where does bumping into a female member of the Royal Family in Woolworths fit your theory? (Years ago, obviously) It wasn't a lookalike either, we'd met her at an official function earlier in the year and her protection officer was very memorable!

Talking of wealth I give you....... Wayne Rooney
is this what you mean

@Malibuismysecrethome

Talking of wealth I give you....... Wayne Rooney is this what you mean

In fairness, I can’t see Wayne Rooney pottering among the hostas.

@5128gap

To answer the original question, yes! The very wealthy are easily identifiable. They are tirelessly posting on MN stating the fact. Whenever a thread appears with the most tenuous link to wealth, out they come with their DHs huge salaries, their sprawling homes and titled grannies to tell you all about it.

😂

Now try being a non-white “person of means”. Our family have several millions in trust and we all grew up skiing, shooting, riding etc… yet wherever we go (and before we speak I might add) person generally tend to assume we are from a working class/council estate background. Always seem positively shocked when we start speaking (all privately educated Eton, St Mary’s Ascot, Cheltenham Ladies).