Hosts to give up bed?

[Minister01]

We’re thinking a house warming party next year. We both live in an area that neither of us grew up and most of our friends are far and wide.

We were discussing logistics and with my idea we can get everyone travelling to stay. I mentioned that we’d stay in the living room on a blow up bed and my DP looked at me like I had three heads. I said it was rude/weird to invite someone (all of the overnight guests are couples) on the floor but he thinks it’s perfectly acceptable and refusing to give up our bed.

I also grew up believing it was rude to have the TV on when hosting/guests around?

I wouldn't be giving up my bed

Not sure of the etiquette but my DH refuses to give up his bed too. It's one of the reasons among many that we don't have overnight guests that are not single!

No you don’t generally give up your bed unless the guest has special circumstances.

We would give up our bed for say, an elderly, disabled or pregnant guest as would not expect them to sleep on the floor but anyone else no.

Personally I would feel awkward sleeping in my hosts bed and would rather go on the mattress in the lounge.

Why don’t you ask one couple what they’d rather do.

And yes, it’s rude to have the TV on when you have guests, unless you are all watching something in particular and of interest to everyone.

Better to have a bit of music on in the background not too loud.

Not a chance. It’s my bed. Guests can have the very comfy air bed or averagely comfy sofa. That’s the deal.

I would give up my bed if they were, as pp said, elderly, pregnant, had a young child. But no chance otherwise.

Of course it’s rude to have the tv on!

You don’t have to give up your bed though.

I think I'd feel more comfortable in a blow up bed in the living room than in the host's bedroom, so I probably wouldn't give up my bed unless special circumstances.

Agree with you on not having the TV on when you have guests though. I find it too distracting and can never take my eyes off a moving TV, so I'd end up being rude and ignoring people without meaning to.

I'm with your husband. I'm not giving up my bed. Airbed or sofabed. That's it.

It depends on the sort of relationship you have, and whether everyone knows what's going on, I think - there's no right or wrong. I would probably find it quite awkward to sleep in my hosts' bed, but I'd also be more than browned off if I were invited somewhere and it turned up the bed was an air mattress.

Fine if you've warned them, though.

I never give up my bed and I wouldn't want to sleep in someone else's bed/bedroom.

Guests get the pull out sofa or they can bring air beds.

I wouldn’t be giving up my bed!

Oh, and TV with guests - I think if I had people staying we might agree to watch a film together, if it were family I might see if they wanted to watch something we were all interested in. Random TV on? No.

It isn’t normal to give up your bed other than for elderly relatives.

I would happily give up my bed to make someone feel comfortable and welcome in my home.

I wouldn’t give up my bed unless the guests were elderly or disabled in some way but I also wouldn’t have adult guests unless I had a proper bed

And yes switch tv off

I don't understand how you'd think this would even work? So if you are having multiple couples stay- then which one gets your bed???

I'd feel very odd having the hosts bed and would never expect that or offer that! The only caveat being if they were elderly/disabled and couldn't physically sleep on an air bed.

Surely the options for guests are:

• Sleep on floor/bring air bed/camp bed
• Bring a tent for the garden (pending it being summer)
• Stay in hotel/air BNB nearby

I don’t give up my bed.

I suppose I might consider it for an extremely elderly relative, but I would be much more likely to book them into a hotel or if they wanted to be at the house, book myself or someone else into a hotel. I view sofas and air mattresses as a spot for children or emergencies, not as a place I would want an adult to actually try to sleep.

I would for my parents or in laws and when friends came with their baby I set up a travel cot in our room too, so the three of them could sleep in there, but not generally. A lot less keen now I'm older!

I think it’s probably down to not want anyone feel awkward for crashing early. If the party moved out of the living room that would cancel out the conservatory and it will probably stink of booze. Didn’t fancy people travelling to half deflated airbed, in a room that stinks of beer and feeling a bit awkward as the party has had a damper with a everyone moving to the kitchen or a game of musical chairs with people swapping rooms.

In cultures which are big on hospitality, you definitely give up your bed. I found it odd (growing up in England but with a different family culture ) when I went to stay at people's houses and would be on the floor and they weren't.
Basically in some cultures, guests are really revererd.
However now as a British adult, I wouldn't give up my bed.

Rude to have the TV on.

Not rude to not give up your own bed.

How many people are you going to fit in your bed? How do you choose which couple gets it? Can they not be put up in a hotel or B&B?

I don’t think it really matters to be honest. It’s a lovely thing to invite them for a party and accommodate them. I’m sure they really don’t care!

I'm thinking forward to our NYE party... logistically DH and I may end up on the sifa/air bed in the living room

(One room will be kids, one room will be PILs, last room other couple with toddler. Its the toddler that makes them having a bedroom make more sense!)