Hosts to give up bed?

[Minister01]

We’re thinking a house warming party next year. We both live in an area that neither of us grew up and most of our friends are far and wide.

We were discussing logistics and with my idea we can get everyone travelling to stay. I mentioned that we’d stay in the living room on a blow up bed and my DP looked at me like I had three heads. I said it was rude/weird to invite someone (all of the overnight guests are couples) on the floor but he thinks it’s perfectly acceptable and refusing to give up our bed.

I also grew up believing it was rude to have the TV on when hosting/guests around?

[quote julieca]@SarahAndQuack I would see it as equivalent to having people come to visit you, and you give them a list of restaurants to go to for a meal, rather than feeding them yourself. Basically you don't really want them there.[/quote]
It's funny you say that because it has literally taken me years to get to a point with my parents where they will accept a home-cooked meal rather than insisting on taking us out! I actually had to point out, bluntly, that aged 30-something and with a perfectly decent kitchen, I might actually enjoy cooking for them once in a while.

@SarahAndQuack
If my mum did that, I would know she thinks my kitchen is either filthy, or my cooking is terrible.

[quote julieca]@SarahAndQuack
If my mum did that, I would know she thinks my kitchen is either filthy, or my cooking is terrible.[/quote]
It's not even that! It's that they think parents ought to be treating you - we shouldn't be put to trouble for them. Such different expectations.

In the same way I was always brought up to be really considerate as a guest - always offer to bring a dish if someone is cooking or ask what I can do to help.

@julieca

I think asking people to stay in a hotel is very rude. My mum would cry.

I wouldn't ask them. They'd have a choice. They could stop at our house but it would be an air bed.

Only give up your bed for elderly relatives . Anyone else would die of embarrassment to sleep in your bed and have you on a blow-up in the sitting room. ( In fact the elderly relatives would also be embarrassed and probably prefer to stay in a local Air B+B)

TV is only to be on if the people have come to watch a particular show . Otherwise it stays off.

We would, and regularly do, give up our bed for guests. We previously lived in a tiny cottage and we would sleep in the living room on the sofa bed, and give guests our bedroom. We’ve moved now to a larger house so have more options, but I wouldn’t rule it out in future if it meant guests would be more comfortable,

Who are these royal guests staying in people’s houses who simply must have the best room and be waited on?

No one in either mine or DH’s family would expect someone to give up their room in their own house. We also wouldn’t see going out for a meal as a snub either. When we go to visit someone, we are there to see them. If that means a night of slightly uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, fine. I’d probably book a hotel as I have problems with my hips and can’t sleep on air beds but that’s my issue and I would refuse to kick someone out of their own bed.

From a guests point of view..... I was invited to a big wedding anniversary party with my husband (now ex) and my two children. They were cousins of his and lived about 2 hours away - I had never met them and he hadn't seen them for years. At that stage in my marriage I believed him and trusted him so when he said that we had been invited to stay I sort of assumed that our hosts house was big enough for us to stay comfortably. It wasn't - our hosts gave up their own room and my teenage daughters (not my husband's daughters) were expected to sleep on the floor at the foot of our bed. I was mortified that they had needed to give up their room for us and it was an extremely difficult situation for my children. This was around 20 years ago. .. I can't remember anything about the party, I just remember what an awful situation the sleeping arrangements were! So - whatever you decide on ( and personally I wouldn't give up my room) just make sure your guests are aware of it so that they can politely decline/arrange alternative accommodation if they want to.