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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hosts to give up bed?

108 replies

Minister01 · 06/12/2021 19:01

We’re thinking a house warming party next year. We both live in an area that neither of us grew up and most of our friends are far and wide.

We were discussing logistics and with my idea we can get everyone travelling to stay. I mentioned that we’d stay in the living room on a blow up bed and my DP looked at me like I had three heads. I said it was rude/weird to invite someone (all of the overnight guests are couples) on the floor but he thinks it’s perfectly acceptable and refusing to give up our bed.

I also grew up believing it was rude to have the TV on when hosting/guests around?

OP posts:
diddl · 06/12/2021 19:32

How many are you inviting & where will they be sleeping?

How would you decide which of them gets your bed?

GhostCurry · 06/12/2021 19:33

@SarahAndQuack

It depends on the sort of relationship you have, and whether everyone knows what's going on, I think - there's no right or wrong. I would probably find it quite awkward to sleep in my hosts' bed, but I'd also be more than browned off if I were invited somewhere and it turned up the bed was an air mattress.

Fine if you've warned them, though.

Really? You’d be annoyed if someone hosted you but it was an air bed?
Luredbyapomegranate · 06/12/2021 19:37

It’s rude to have the TV on.

There’s no need to give up your bed, unless your guests are elderly, ill, etc

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/12/2021 19:40

@SarahAndQuack

It depends on the sort of relationship you have, and whether everyone knows what's going on, I think - there's no right or wrong. I would probably find it quite awkward to sleep in my hosts' bed, but I'd also be more than browned off if I were invited somewhere and it turned up the bed was an air mattress.

Fine if you've warned them, though.

Why??

Do you expect them to knock up a guest wing a la Downton Abbey especially for your stat?!

It’s ridiculous to be annoyed about an air bed as a guest without special needs, you can book a hotel if you don’t want to rough it.

SarahAndQuack · 06/12/2021 19:40

@GhostCurry - no, I mean, I'd be browned off if I wasn't told that before and I turned up to find it was an air bed. That's why I was saying I think everyone needs to know what's happening with sleeping arrangements.

Squirrelblanket · 06/12/2021 19:41

I wouldn't give up my own bed and I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed with them on the floor.

SarahAndQuack · 06/12/2021 19:41

Cross post - but YY, @Luredbyapomegranate, I wouldn't be at all fussed if I had the opportunity to book a hotel, it's just the idea of showing up and then finding out that I wouldn't like.

Luckingfovely · 06/12/2021 19:44

Just send them a link to local AirBNBs if you can't fit them all in.

Giving up your bed is ridiculous and I'm sure nobody would want to sleep in it either, gives me the ick.

TV - obviously ghastly and rude.

Restart10 · 06/12/2021 19:46

I would really feel uncomfortable and rude expecting anyone to sleep on a blow up bed in the living room. If I don't have the space, I wouldn't invite them.

percypig84 · 06/12/2021 19:47

Definitely rude to have the TV on, DH’s family think otherwise and have theirs permanently on, his granny once asked if ours was broken when she came round to find it turned off!

JeffThePilot · 06/12/2021 19:59

I wouldn’t have the tv on but I wouldn’t give up my bed but that’s mostly because I have a chronic pain condition and a very expensive adjustable bed, equally I’d not stay at someone’s home if there was no suitable bed but I’d not expect them to give up theirs (that’s what premier inn is for)

Ozanj · 06/12/2021 20:01

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I'm thinking forward to our NYE party... logistically DH and I may end up on the sifa/air bed in the living room

(One room will be kids, one room will be PILs, last room other couple with toddler. Its the toddler that makes them having a bedroom make more sense!)

Kids give up the room and sleep with you.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/12/2021 20:05

@Ozanj thats the kids from both families (minus the toddler). Plus its a loft bed in that room.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 06/12/2021 20:09

Absolutely would not be giving up my bed.

Dacquoise · 06/12/2021 20:15

Offering your guests an airbed is perfectly acceptable if you don't have spare rooms to offer. They can always book a local b&b if they are keen to come over but want a 'proper' bed. I have never been to someone else's house and been offered their room.

No telly unless you're all watching it. Background music better.

phishy · 06/12/2021 20:15

Yeah, don’t give up your bed, people very soon come to expect and get very entitled about it.

The worst for this are PIL, so many threads on MN where PIL expect to be given the main bedroom, even expecting a heavily pregnant woman to give up her bed.

trumpisagit · 06/12/2021 20:17

I would give up my bed for older couple (eg PIL) but not for friends.

julieca · 06/12/2021 20:19

I would give up my bed and turn the TV off.

Idontevenknow · 06/12/2021 20:21

Fuck that, it's my bed! Airbnb or premier inn, if the blow up bed wouldn't be suitable for them

RodneyIsDave · 06/12/2021 20:23

TV was always switched off when people came over when I was growing up In the 80s… doesn’t mean I’d dream of giving up my bed for anyone

Electriq · 06/12/2021 20:27

No, dont give up your bed, Id feel so awkward if I was offered someone's bed in their own home and they slept on the floor.

If offer a blow up bed as you have, or links to local hotels/air b&b

ATTA45 · 06/12/2021 20:31

So I'm single and my brother and SIL are coming to stay. What about then? Seems daft to keep a double bed to myself, much as I want to!

julieca · 06/12/2021 20:32

Don't offer links to hotels etc. That is so rude.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/12/2021 20:34

No need to give up your bed, unless they are elderly (or disabled in a way that makes it difficult to sleep on a less comfortable bed, heavily pregnant or something)

Definitely, definitely rude to have the TV on (unless they are invited round to watch a specific programme)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/12/2021 20:36

@ATTA45 depends what the alternative is I guess!

I’ve said to my parents if they both come they can have my bed because it’s a super king, whereas the sofa bed is only a double (and there’s only one of me). Our sofa bed is lovely though - have slept on it when builders were in and it’s no hardship.