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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don't want a new kettle for Christmas

175 replies

BeaMends · 06/12/2021 17:11

Would you?

We had our kitchen done last year and I bought a reasonably priced replacement kettle then. It has turned out to be less than great, it leaks a bit when you pour, and the lid doesn't open fully when you press the button to fill it up any more. I've been looking for a couple of weeks for another one, but haven't seen one that I really like yet. Well I have seen a couple, but they have been out of stock.

Yesterday evening DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there. My heart sank.

Thing is... although it's a nice thought, I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this? The difficult bit is that I can't think of anything else that I want that he could buy instead.

AIBU and being ungrateful, and should let him get it? Or should I tell him that I'd prefer another gift?

Help!!

OP posts:

Original poster

BeaMends · 06/12/2021 22:08

@TractorAndHeadphones

Also OP if you asked for blenders and saucepans before you cant be shocked and surprised that he thought a kettle was good idea. You started it!

Yes I know!

Mind you, since a pp mentioned Smeg kettles earlier, they are starting to grow on me...

OP posts:

hidethexylophone · 07/12/2021 16:26

Don't have a smeg kettle! They look nice but are ridiculously heavy even before you put any water in them and don't boil particularly quickly. Really regret mine.

LookItsMeAgain · 07/12/2021 16:34

Hang on here. He can politely request that you don't buy a house-hold appliance for him for Christmas but he can buy one for you? That in itself doesn't sound right.
Also, why do you need to come up with an alternative? Does he not know his wife of 24 years?

You just say "Oh, DH, remember when you said that I wasn't to buy you an appliance for Christmas...well, this Christmas, the same rule applies to you too. I don't want an appliance or something for the house. You're to buy me something for me."

Newestname002 · 07/12/2021 16:36

@BeaMends

I need to bite the bullet, don't I?

But I also need to give him suggestions for an alternative gift. Thing is, I have no idea what I want.

So what can I ask for instead?

What about cashmere?

Eg:

cashmere/cashmere & silk shawl/pashmina?
sweater/cardigan
several pairs cashmere socks in various colours?🌹

LookItsMeAgain · 07/12/2021 16:36

I realise that the thread had moved on but I think the underlying message remains.

SinoohXaenaHide · 07/12/2021 16:42

@BeaMends

Stop press: he is taking me shopping tomorrow afternoon, so I can choose my present!

Excellent. Well done.

No matter how much a household may need a new toaster or kettle, making it the Christmas Gift of the mother of the household is an act of benevolent misogyny - it just says loud and clear "the provision of toast and tea is woman's work"

Unless of course you are the only person in the household to ever eat toast or drink hot drinks.

5keletor · 07/12/2021 16:43

Glad it's been sorted! I would absolutely love a fancy kettle, but I don't like gifts for the sake of it and would much prefer something practical - perfume, clothes or jewellery would be a real letdown (I think that's unusual though!).

Newestname002 · 07/12/2021 16:49

@SinoohXaenaHide

Hear! Hear!🌹

Original poster

BeaMends · 07/12/2021 17:06

@LookItsMeAgain

Hang on here. He can politely request that you don't buy a house-hold appliance for him for Christmas but he can buy one for you? That in itself doesn't sound right. Also, why do you need to come up with an alternative? Does he not know his wife of 24 years?

Er... eh? He hasn't requested that I don't buy a household appliance for him. He hasn't asked me for anything. I offered to get him a new laptop because his old one is busted.

OP posts:

Original poster

BeaMends · 07/12/2021 17:09

@hidethexylophone

Don't have a smeg kettle! They look nice but are ridiculously heavy even before you put any water in them and don't boil particularly quickly. Really regret mine.

Thanks for the tip. I've got a touch of arthritis in my hands, so that's really useful to know.

OP posts:

uncomfortablydumb53 · 07/12/2021 17:17

PP got there first.. Friend has a Smeg kettle and they're incredibly heavy

OhamIreally · 07/12/2021 17:24

Glad it's been sorted. I did wonder though, if the kettle had been for you, what everyone else would do when they required boiled water? Does everyone have a separate kettle?

Briony123 · 07/12/2021 17:29

Things like that we buy as presents to the whole family. We all laugh as each other opens a new screwdriver or extension cable.

Original poster

BeaMends · 07/12/2021 17:55

@OhamIreally

Glad it's been sorted. I did wonder though, if the kettle had been for you, what everyone else would do when they required boiled water? Does everyone have a separate kettle?

OP posts:

UniBallEye · 08/12/2021 11:07

So did you get a kettle then OP

Original poster

BeaMends · 08/12/2021 17:49

We didn't go shopping in the end because the weather was so shit.

OP posts:

LookItsMeAgain · 09/12/2021 08:43

@BeaMends - this is what you wrote in your opening message:
DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there
You also wrote:
I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this?
So he asked you not to buy any kitchen related appliances but you were concerned about asking him not to do the same for you? I know you bought him a laptop but you were posting about how to broach the subject with him about what you wanted.
I hope that now that the weather has improved, you've been able to get out and about and go shopping for something you want rather than a household appliance.

Dahlietta · 09/12/2021 09:22

I love the heaviness of my Smeg kettle (which my husband bought me )!

hangrylady · 09/12/2021 09:28

I'm not sure why you need some carefully crafted approach. Just tell him you'll be pissed off if you get a kettle for Christmas.

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 09/12/2021 09:32

[quote LookItsMeAgain]@BeaMends - this is what you wrote in your opening message:
DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there
You also wrote:
I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this?
So he asked you not to buy any kitchen related appliances but you were concerned about asking him not to do the same for you? I know you bought him a laptop but you were posting about how to broach the subject with him about what you wanted.
I hope that now that the weather has improved, you've been able to get out and about and go shopping for something you want rather than a household appliance.[/quote]
OP meant that her DH had given her a heads up not to buy a kettle because he was planning to get her one. Not that she wasn’t allowed to buy him a household appliance.

Original poster

BeaMends · 09/12/2021 14:27

What @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule said.

OP posts:

frazzledasarock · 09/12/2021 14:35

Get him a toaster for Christmas

StormyCornishSeas · 11/12/2021 22:05

Just found out my dad is giving my mum a kettle and a cheese grater for Christmas. It immediately reminded me of this thread. I feel like I should talk to him but if that's what she wants

CorsicaDreaming · 11/12/2021 23:03

@BeaMends

It's not the main present. That's a rather nice bracelet. That I asked for, and he had no clue about which shop etc, so I went and got that, and he gave me the cash.

I want a surprise present.

If he has to think of a surprise present, heaven knows what he'll come up with. Which is why I do feel a bit guilty that he has actually thought of something he knows I want, and why I can't really bring myself to tell him.

Man up, woman.

If he's already getting you a lovely bracelet as a present then I'd just go with the (by sound of it fancy) kettle It will be a surprise as you don't know exactly what one it is. He's come up with a practical useful gift you will (all) really use. You're already getting a bracelet.

Go with it - poor man, he's tried to think of a surprise and you've guessed it!

Original poster

BeaMends · 25/12/2021 17:44

Well, folks........

The kettle has landed. It's actually rather nice.

And it came with a matching toaster

(I did get lots of other lovely things too, by the way).

OP posts:

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