I don't want a new kettle for Christmas

[BeaMends]

Would you?

We had our kitchen done last year and I bought a reasonably priced replacement kettle then. It has turned out to be less than great, it leaks a bit when you pour, and the lid doesn't open fully when you press the button to fill it up any more. I've been looking for a couple of weeks for another one, but haven't seen one that I really like yet. Well I have seen a couple, but they have been out of stock.

Yesterday evening DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there. My heart sank.

Thing is... although it's a nice thought, I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this? The difficult bit is that I can't think of anything else that I want that he could buy instead.

AIBU and being ungrateful, and should let him get it? Or should I tell him that I'd prefer another gift?

Help!!

@jellybeanpopper it's out of stock!

@1forAll74

You should accept whatever you get gifted, indeed a kettle,if that is what your Husband want's to buy. Things cost money, so you should be grateful for anything,

Lol. You should have turned up on the thread where rhe poster got a pork pie for her birthday. 😂

Well enjoy your kettle op. I’m getting a rather lovely gold bangle I like and some smelly stuff. The “I’ve got a vagina presents” as a pp named them, go me and my present dictating vagina.😃

@TheGoodEnoughWife

Kettle - crap gift that is to be used by everyone.

It is interesting the things you list as things you would like are different, nice I am sure, things for the house.

The problem isn't that you would like those things, new towels for a recently done bathroom entirely normal, the problem is why aren't those things being bought anyway? Why isn't there a budget for those things? You should be able to have those things alongside a nice personal Christmas present surely?

(There are some household things that are acceptable presents - I had an ice cream maker one year for my birthday as I really wanted one and it is mine! A kettle is not the same)

Why do you think there isn't a budget? There is. Or are you being influenced by my username?

They are things for the house because we've recently had a load of work done on it. Besides, I'd sooner have some new towels than another handbag or something that's neither use nor ornament. I'm stacked out with scarves, shoes, candles, knick-knacks etc etc. Don't need any more ornamental clutter!

I know which towels I want - it's taken me 3 months to find exactly the right shade. I've bought one hand towel just to check it looks right and it does, so next time I'm in the town with a branch of that shop, I'm getting them. I've also seen the laundry basket I like, again after searching for months, but I have to measure the space first to check it will fit.

@jellybeanpopper He's said this shop sells Smeg kettles - watch this space

This isn't "delicate gift negotiations" this is a tight arse misogynist being a greedy cheeky fucker and not caring tuppence for your feelings OP.

@BurbageBrook

He’s your husband, it’s so weird that you didn’t just tell him at the time. My partner hinted that he was getting me an expensive tablet, I really didn’t want that as I already have a laptop and I like to read books in my spare time not use a tablet. I just told him! He actually had to cancel an order that was already on its way from Amazon. But he didn’t mind at all. Why would you worry about being honest with your husband?

I'm not worried about being honest.

And I didn't tell him at the time because he genuinely thought he was being thoughtful in remembering I wanted a new kettle, and I didn't want to piss on his chips straight away.

@UsernameInTheTown

This isn't "delicate gift negotiations" this is a tight arse misogynist being a greedy cheeky fucker and not caring tuppence for your feelings OP.

Wrong. I said upthread that this is lighthearted.

A posh kettle would suit me as I’m an absolute tea fiend!

But generally I don’t think a kitchen appliances are a suitable gift from a romantic partner. Unless they know you really want that.

I’d just tell him - “that’s something the household needs - for everyone to use, it’s not a present I want or would enjoy”

I really think you should do the father of the bride idea. It's funny! And lighthearted which is fine for the very low stakes conversation you're trying to have.

Op are you my Mum because this is the sort of shit my dad would pull. In fact I think he's brought most kitchen appliances as a Christmas present throughout the years. Mum is left unimpressed and dad gets to be the butt of jokes. Yanbu. But you have to have to tell him now & preferably with other options and things you do want as suggestions. Well that's what has to happen with my family anyway

Stop press: he is taking me shopping tomorrow afternoon, so I can choose my present!

Your partner should be the one person you know you can be real with, surely?

Like a PP I would have immediately said “Noooo, don’t get me a bloody kettle for Christmas!”

I’d love a kettle! I got a nice le creuset one for a birthday and it makes me feel happy whoever I use it…but then I do drink a lot of tea. Sorry OP, hope you get something that makes you equally happy.

@BeaMends

Stop press: he is taking me shopping tomorrow afternoon, so I can choose my present!

I think the towels/laundry basket/anything else you fancy is fine, tbh. Just because you don’t want one particular household present doesn’t mean you can’t have another one!

I’m so in the mood for shopping after this thread and I can’t because I’m being good right now!! 😭😭

@Moonwatcher1234 I’d be very happy with a Le creuset kettle! It’s on my list...

Oh dear I ordered a toaster this year 😬
We don't not live together though

And a coat.... last year I asked for a Le cruset frying pan

I'm a practical gal

I can completely understand your position and a kettle is not a great present. However…..I’m ashamed to admit I would love it if I was bought the (not very expensive) kettle I’ve been eyeing up.

[quote HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule]@Moonwatcher1234 I’d be very happy with a Le creuset kettle! It’s on my list...[/quote]
Hope you get it! It’s wonderful and just a pleasure to use and look at. I should work for their marketing department.

@Moonwatcher1234 I’ll probably pick one up in the sales. I love Le creuset too, and have a few pieces, but there are so many things I love that it will take me a while to get round to them all. 😄

I recently got a set of 4 mini croquettes which I haven’t yet used; I’m going to make French onion soup to inaugurate them, I think!

FFS a kettle. Is it 1952?

If so … Tell him about the blow job he will get for Xmas 2022 so he has plenty of time to look forward to it.

[quote HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule]@Moonwatcher1234 I’ll probably pick one up in the sales. I love Le creuset too, and have a few pieces, but there are so many things I love that it will take me a while to get round to them all. 😄

I recently got a set of 4 mini croquettes which I haven’t yet used; I’m going to make French onion soup to inaugurate them, I think![/quote]
Ooh going to check that out - sounds fab. I adore le creuset as well and am building a teal collection. Got the cast iron skillet on the weekend which makes v authentic crepes (which we slathered with Nutella obviously) and now have my eye on the egg cups. Everyone, send your unwanted domestic goods to me…as long as they are le creuset!

maybe he's thinking about something like this

www.harrods.com/en-gb/shopping/mackenzie-childs-royal-check-tea-kettle-14819531

I'd be chuffed if i got that as a presengt

Also OP if you asked for blenders and saucepans before you cant be shocked and surprised that he thought a kettle was good idea. You started it!

Oh yes I have egg cups too and they are perfect! And a cast iron pan which I also love. Need a bigger one though. So many lovely things!

Oops, best not derail the thread too much with our Le Creuset love!

We all like practical presents here. My boys bought me a Kitchen Aid mixer for my birthday, it's beautiful and I love using it. My youngest got a set of kitchen knives last Christmas because he really wanted his own set of good knives and my dh loves anything kitchen related.

But if you don't want it you don't, and you should tell him that.

@BeaMends

Stop press: he is taking me shopping tomorrow afternoon, so I can choose my present!

But you said you wanted a surprise! That’s not a surprise!

My Dh once bought me a cheese grater for birthday or Christmas - when I asked why the fuck have you got me a cheese grater, he said “it only cost £2.50!” like that made it any better