I don't want a new kettle for Christmas

[BeaMends]

Would you?

We had our kitchen done last year and I bought a reasonably priced replacement kettle then. It has turned out to be less than great, it leaks a bit when you pour, and the lid doesn't open fully when you press the button to fill it up any more. I've been looking for a couple of weeks for another one, but haven't seen one that I really like yet. Well I have seen a couple, but they have been out of stock.

Yesterday evening DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there. My heart sank.

Thing is... although it's a nice thought, I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this? The difficult bit is that I can't think of anything else that I want that he could buy instead.

AIBU and being ungrateful, and should let him get it? Or should I tell him that I'd prefer another gift?

Help!!

@Peakypolly

I'm another for whom a posh kettle sounds a great choice. Surely he must know your preferences though?

I want a new kettle. I really do. But I want a proper present!!!

He knows the sort of things I like. Mostly. He does have form for buying weird random gifts though. Last year it was a Himalayan salt lamp. Where he got that idea from I don't know.

Yeah I really don’t see why you need to approach him about this in any particular way...you tell him that it’s fine if he wants to get the household a present of a kettle, but it’s not what you want for you.

You don’t need to know exactly what you want, just let him know you absolutely don’t want a household appliance of any description!

Tell him you don't want to spoil his suprise but you bought him a nice new kettle for Xmas.

@caringcarer Briliant!!

@caringcarer

Tell him you don't want to spoil his suprise but you bought him a nice new kettle for Xmas.

Yes!

Just tell him...

Dh, you know you mentioned I shouldn't get a new kitchen appliance, PLEASE tell me you're not buying me a kitchen appliance for Xmas! If I open a kettle for Xmas, I'm selling your new laptop and buying you a set of towels for Xmas.

It's a pity Pot Noodle stopped making the Christmas Dinner flavour...that would have been a perfect gift for him.

He's verging on CF territory, asking for a laptop in return for a kettle.

A kettle is a gift for the house and will be used by both of you. His laptop will be used by him. He should be buying you a present that you want and will only be personal to you. I asked my Fiance a couple of years back when I had read a similar kind of thread if he would ever buy a household appliance for me and he said no way. He said I would only buy presents personal to me such as a piece of jewellery I like etc. You should tell him to buy the kettle because the household needs one and should be buying you a gift you love.

So he gets a manly, gadgety laptop replacement and you get a wifely kettle replacement? How is that fair?

Tell him that that's great because it's sorted out his present since he likes it so much and that you and his mother would like nice new laptops. Negotiate from there

I need to bite the bullet, don't I?

But I also need to give him suggestions for an alternative gift. Thing is, I have no idea what I want.

So what can I ask for instead?

YANBU; I really couldn't get excited about a kettle - and I've had plenty of kitchen related gifts over the years (though never from DH, it would feel different coming from him).

I'm told the year my father bought an electric floor polisher for my mother wasn't a good one, so best to address it now....

Ffs. Say:

"I don't want a kettle for Xmas."

Appliances as a gift really depend on the recipient’s view on the appliances. If a kettle doesn’t interest or excite you then it’s not a good gift. I’ll be thrilled with my rice cooker this Christmas, but would be distinctly unimpressed with an iron.

Why do you need to give him a suggestion for an alternative gift? He has plenty of time to think of something else. He didn’t work enough to think of something nice the first time so why is it your job to come up with it for him?

I really do wonder how people address big issues in their relationships if they can't say "I don't want a kettle for Xmas" to their spouse.

DH has just said "Even I know that's wrong!" and he once bought me a pressure washer for my birthday which I loved 😂

@BeaMends

I need to bite the bullet, don't I?

But I also need to give him suggestions for an alternative gift. Thing is, I have no idea what I want.

So what can I ask for instead?

Yes, you need to bite the bullet and tell him now.

What do you like?

A Parlux hairdryer, an electric foot massager, a games console, a dressing table, fave perfume, a new tablet, a new phone…

Why is it bite the bullet? Do you have a back story here, are you in an abusive relationship . I can’t imagine any other reason you can’t just say I don’t want a kettle for crimbo

What are you going to do, open it on Christmas morning say oh wow a kettle let me make you a cup of tea 1950s housewife style?

Get him the matching toaster for his Xmas pressie.

Op do you not work? Do you feel you need to take what’s offered?

There’s nothing you want, a beautiful scarf, shoes, boots, pyjamas, dressing gown, bag, iPad, nothing?

@tallduckandhandsome

So he gets a manly, gadgety laptop replacement and you get a wifely kettle replacement? How is that fair?

It was my idea. I offered to get the laptop because I'm fed up with him holding it with the screen only a third unfolded because that's the only way it still works. He sits there like he's peering through a letter box at it.

There's no manly/wifely divide in this house - he does all the ironing and hoovering... actually that's a thought. The iron has seen better days. The dc can get him a new one

Jewelry, earrings, watch, necklace, perfume, body lotion, candles, there’s nothing you’d like to have?

Even if OP doesn’t work she sure as hell doesn’t need to take whatever is offered! Although I’m pretty sure that’s not what you meant, I’m just saying this for OP’s benefit.