I don't want a new kettle for Christmas

[BeaMends]

Would you?

We had our kitchen done last year and I bought a reasonably priced replacement kettle then. It has turned out to be less than great, it leaks a bit when you pour, and the lid doesn't open fully when you press the button to fill it up any more. I've been looking for a couple of weeks for another one, but haven't seen one that I really like yet. Well I have seen a couple, but they have been out of stock.

Yesterday evening DH said could I please not buy anything kitchen-related before Christmas, and I asked him did that include a kettle? He said yes, he didn't really want to spoil a surprise, but wanted to get me a good quality one. Apparently he's found some posh kitchen shop that sells expensive kettles, and he wants to buy one from there. My heart sank.

Thing is... although it's a nice thought, I'd rather not have a domestic appliance as a Christmas present. How do I approach this? The difficult bit is that I can't think of anything else that I want that he could buy instead.

AIBU and being ungrateful, and should let him get it? Or should I tell him that I'd prefer another gift?

Help!!

@Animood

I really do wonder how people address big issues in their relationships if they can't say "I don't want a kettle for Xmas" to their spouse.

Because lighthearted thread.

But then why on earth are you fretting so much about saying something perfectly straightforward and perfectly reasonable to him?

It is not your job to think of something else he can give to you...

Can’t you address by saying a toaster is not a suitable present for his mother as will be used by everyone not just her. He may see the parallel with the kettle and ditch the idea.Or just order a nice one now. He sounds bad at presents, I’d make a few suggestions of things you would like.

Are you the only tea/coffee/hot chocolate drinker out of the two of you? Is he planning the kettle as a little add on to the main gift for you (the one equivalent in value and personal interest as a laptop) - or is he really proposing to give you a kettle - that he will use just as much - and nothing else?

Is he really that clueless? I know some men people are, but is he actually expecting you to open up a kettle and say "Oh, wow, thank you so much, darling - that is soooo kind and thoughtful of you! We'll both be able to use my present to do one of the most boring everyday household things imaginable! I feel really quite guilty now that I got you an exciting personal gift instead of a very dull one for the house - what must you think of me?!"

My husband got me a waffle maker last Christmas, I don't even like waffles, he does.
This year I'm getting him a ninja air fryer, iv wanted one for ages

@Bluntness100

Op do you not work? Do you feel you need to take what’s offered?

There’s nothing you want, a beautiful scarf, shoes, boots, pyjamas, dressing gown, bag, iPad, nothing?

I earn more than he does, it's nothing to do with money. It's just that he has obviously thought long and hard and come up with something he thought I'd really appreciate. Misguidedly, but it is the thought that counts. I have asked for things like blenders, saute pans and the like before so he probably thought he was on to a winner.

Funnily enough, I'm beginning to think I must be quite difficult to buy for. Unless it has chocolate on it of course.

Whoever it was who asked - no I'm not in an abusive relationship, but thank you for your concern.

I am the complete opposite of most MNers. I would love this but I’m quite practical. I got a vaccum for a big birthday and I was over the moon. I did suggest it!

I got a kettle off my MIL and would much rather get that than some bath bubbles in a gift set

He's asked for a replacement laptop as his has gone wrong!

Er - unless it's a PARTICULARLY posh kettle, his present is going to cost a lot more than yours.

So he gets a manly, gadgety laptop replacement and you get a wifely kettle replacement? How is that fair?

It isn't. And it's also a tad sexist.

For his present, would he maybe like some replacement bags for the hoover? Or some dishwasher tabs? How about a professional oven cleaning?

@Bluntness100

Jewelry, earrings, watch, necklace, perfume, body lotion, candles, there’s nothing you’d like to have?

I wouldn’t want anything from that Generic If You Have a Vagina List 🤣

But I appreciate many would 😀

Just tell him. It’s not hard, you don’t have to poke fun or roll your eyes at him, “hey - so it’s obvious you’ve got kettle plans! Can you show me which one? I’ve been looking for a a nice one. But honestly - I don’t want a kitchen appliance for Xmas thanks!”

Nothing with a plug should be given as a present, unless the potential recipient has suggested the item. I got a blender one year. Never again!

I think you may be overestimating how much careful thought went into that...I mean I assume you’ve said many times how annoying the kettle is, and if he uses it he’s probably noticed it himself. So it’s a fairly obvious thing to buy really.

Are you the only tea/coffee/hot chocolate drinker out of the two of you? He's brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning for the last 24 years.

My husband got me a waffle maker last Christmas, I don't even like waffles, he does.
This year I'm getting him a ninja air fryer, iv wanted one for ages

Hmmmm, is your DH yellow? I think I might know him....

Tell him that's great because you were planning on buying him an expensive toaster for Christmas, or tell him to fuck off because household appliances ARE NOT Christmas presents, which is exactly what my dp was told when he said he would get me a new hoover for my Christmas.

And I have nothing against household things as gifts in and of themselves, I was given a dryer for Christmas once by my now DH and it’s still one of my favourite things he’s given me because it was just what I needed at the time as a single mother of two. It was much appreciated. I also would be very happy indeed with a kitchenaid or a fancy rice cooker. But I’m not you. You don’t want a kettle so it’s perfectly fine to say so and I think he probably has enough brain power left to pick something else instead.

@Hellyeahbaby Way to go!

He's brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning for the last 24 years.

So even more a present for his use than a special one for you, then?!

Just been looking at kettles and found one that I might have to buy! Drew & Cole, it tells you how many cups its holding. If it's empty or over full, it won't switch on. Always cool to the touch even when full of boiling water . £63.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

He's brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning for the last 24 years.

So even more a present for his use than a special one for you, then?!

We are both skilled in the beverage-making department

@BeaMends

Are you the only tea/coffee/hot chocolate drinker out of the two of you? He's brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning for the last 24 years.

Ah.

So he wants a new kettle in which case, yay, that can be another present fo him.

You can have the equivalent of a laptop and a kettle into your account so you can buy treats and special things when you think of them.

Or you can let him think of another present to get for you.

I just can’t relate to these threads at all. I have a wish list a mile long at any one time! 😄

Tell him now!!!!! You shouldn't have to but you need to spell it out to him now.

Me and the husband once bought each other kitchen aid kettle and toaster in empire red for Valentine’s Day - love Christmas stuff

I love a kitchen gadget or posh item etc for Christmas, but there's something intrinsically ick about a kettle (or toaster, or microwave, or oven) as a Christmas gift because it feels like something you have to have anyway so why make it a gift? And of course, it lands up being used by everyone. My main present last year was a fancy griddle pan from Lakeland. I am the only person who uses or appreciates it and I love it.It was also quite pricey and not something we would usually buy just for normal kitchen items. Similarly for a big birthday my family and friends clubbed together to get me a lovely dinner service - something I wanted but would not ever have spent the money on buying a full set of.

If DH had got me a kettle however..... well, it wouldn't have gone well!

If someone wanted to get me a kitchen item that I might not buy for myself, my list might include:

• A really fancy spice rack, ideally filled only with the spices I actually use and not all the random ones that I don't
• A kitchenaid (predictive text changed that to Kitchenmaid which, to be honest, would also be nice).
• A really good knife set - I often eye up the Robert Welch ones in Lakeland
• Interesting and attractive serving dishes, preferably ones that aren't too large

Over the years, kitchen items people (not DH, admittedly) have bought me that I've loved include mugs, a strawberry huller, funky measuring cups, glasses, a heatable gravy dish, candlesticks.