Is my parents behaviour unreasonable?

[Totalmadness30]

I'm looking for other people's views on whether my parents behaviour is unreasobable. To cut I short my parents have always been let's say overbearing and it's taken years to assert any independence with my parents, I'm 30 with 5 children and been living on with partner for 13 years. There's a long list of things but recently one of the things is to he school run. My mum has been meeting me on the school run pretty much everyday she waits for me to walk up and then walks all the way bk to our house, if she doesn't see me she will send txts asking where I am and even call in the car instead. My parents also asks everyday about taking and fetching the kids, if it slightly rains they pester saying the kids cant walk in the rain,etc. I am a sahm so definitely don't want other people doing my job, but the other day it went further and one afternoon it was bad rain and my parents had already gone to the school and picked my daughter up and sat her in their car without any consent from me or partner which I didn't take kindly to no matter how good their intentions might have been. Then the other thing is they will visit everyday pretty much and always unannounced. They knocked the other day and as we have a 5 week old I was just resting and really not wanting visitors so I ignored the door. My parents then rang continuously, looked thru my letterbox, camw round the back, looked through my window and tried the back door and sat outside for 20 minutes until finally going. Then the last straw was today. Me and dp were having an intimate moment and right in the moment by mum knocks on at 10am and presses her face against the glass in our door and clearly saw too much 🤦very embarrassing and my partner got very angry about it and said she is getting too much now and as a result we ended up arguing. I don't know if it's us being unreasonable or my parents and don't want to seem rude and unwelcoming to them but I feel it's too much? What do you think?

Wierd behaviour from the parents. Do they have reason to be concerned for you or your children's welfare? If not you need some pretty during boundaries putting in place.

As for the whole unmarried sahm judgement, she didn't ask this, she's been accused of not understanding how it works and having a chip on her shoulder, you have no idea of her situation. I'm a sahm, 2 kids, not going back to work, not getting married queue outcry of horror, my house is in my name, no mortgage, I have my own money that I earnt before the relationship, to get married I'd be the mug, you know nothing of her situation, who the house belongs to, who the main earner is when she returns to work, if she has money for another source, absolutely none of your business as its not what she asked.
Op ignore it, appears to come from a place of jealousy that someones got 5 kids, happy and still getting it on.

The OP could easily and politely just reply that marriage isn’t in her best interests but thanks for the concern. Better that than people don’t give well intentioned warnings to someone who may really need them.

Of course I could be wrong but given the OP has five kids by 30, the first at 17 apparently, I’m willing to bet that it’s unlikely (albeit not impossible) that she has a solid career and pension behind her or that she owns their home outright. In which case, your situation (great as it is) would be entirely unrelated to hers and your well-intentioned reassurance could be very damaging.

And I for one am absolutely not jealous of someone with five kids! Good on her but really, do we have to accuse everyone who points out some potentially questionable issues ‘jealous’. This isn’t the school playground.

They are overstepping. However I'm just impressed you get to do it five weeks post party. I was too bloody tired.

Party? Partum.

YANBU My parents were the same. I found the best way to deal with them was to emigrate.

Maybe work with them and let them help. Some of us would love to have assisted from family especially with so many children. Why not agree once a week they collect the children and take them for dinner. ? I agree turning up unannounced is not good and you need to address though.
If they are recently retired etc they may be looking to help. Let them if you trust them. Give you time to rest or do whatever 😏. Sometimes people need to be appreicated and they might. They are after all only trying to help the grandkids.

@FatCatThinCat

YANBU My parents were the same. I found the best way to deal with them was to emigrate.

😂😂😂😂😂 love this

@Bluntness100

I’m sorry op, but five kids at 30, first one at seventeen and shagging wirh kids in the house and so that anyone who looked through thr door could see you is going to derail any thread,

I had 4 kids at 24 with my first at 19 and yes I have sex with the kids somewhere in the house (as do most parents).

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Some of the comments on this thread are insane.

@Totalmadness30

I'm looking for other people's views on whether my parents behaviour is unreasobable. To cut I short my parents have always been let's say overbearing and it's taken years to assert any independence with my parents, I'm 30 with 5 children and been living on with partner for 13 years. There's a long list of things but recently one of the things is to he school run. My mum has been meeting me on the school run pretty much everyday she waits for me to walk up and then walks all the way bk to our house, if she doesn't see me she will send txts asking where I am and even call in the car instead. My parents also asks everyday about taking and fetching the kids, if it slightly rains they pester saying the kids cant walk in the rain,etc. I am a sahm so definitely don't want other people doing my job, but the other day it went further and one afternoon it was bad rain and my parents had already gone to the school and picked my daughter up and sat her in their car without any consent from me or partner which I didn't take kindly to no matter how good their intentions might have been. Then the other thing is they will visit everyday pretty much and always unannounced. They knocked the other day and as we have a 5 week old I was just resting and really not wanting visitors so I ignored the door. My parents then rang continuously, looked thru my letterbox, camw round the back, looked through my window and tried the back door and sat outside for 20 minutes until finally going. Then the last straw was today. Me and dp were having an intimate moment and right in the moment by mum knocks on at 10am and presses her face against the glass in our door and clearly saw too much 🤦very embarrassing and my partner got very angry about it and said she is getting too much now and as a result we ended up arguing. I don't know if it's us being unreasonable or my parents and don't want to seem rude and unwelcoming to them but I feel it's too much? What do you think?

Yes your parents are being unreasonable but bloody hell, so are some of the posters on here leave OP alone, she is a grown woman having consensual sex in her own home with her long term partner. Don't understand why people are jumping all over that?!

I am very much reminded of the overbearing MIL in sex in the city. She was in the house with Charlotte and her then husband if I remember right and also walked in on them having sex.

In the TV show it solved the problem apparently. Not sure if it will for your mother who you very much need to deal with pronto. I wouldn’t put up with that if I were your partner.

If you were complaining about your MIL and your DP allowing that’s the advice you’d be getting.

Best comment 🤣

I'm wondering why you're not chomping at the bit for the help! 5 kids including a newborn - i would let them do all the school runs they wanted! Do you think they're worried about how much you've got on and just want to help? I'm quite amazed you dont want their help.. 5 kids is no easy task - would be nice for the kids to get lots of input from their grandparents I can imagine, as even if you were best mum in the world your time with them each is limited.