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Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
335

cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36

Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.

There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.

My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.

To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.

Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.

Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?

OP's posts:
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Grenlei · 04/12/2021 18:59

2 boys in my school year died within a year of each other at secondary school, one from (unexpected) sudden illness, the other drowned on holiday. Very sad. One of them was my neighbour, I'd known him since I was 4.

A story my dad always told me has stuck with me, a little girl who was the daughter of one of his tenants who lived next door. This was years before I was born, back in the 1950s. My dad was very fond of this girl who was very bright and chatty. He would (jokily) tell her off because every time he saw her she was always chewing the end of her very long plaits. She tragically developed cancer aged about 7 and died a few months later Sad

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spiderlight · 04/12/2021 19:00

This thread has made me think of a little boy at my Junior school in the early 80s. He had a heart condition and couldn't run around and play, so he would spend every playtime in the corner by the door into the school, slowly walking up and down driving toy cars along the wall. I don't recall anyone else ever playing with him or keeping him company - he must have been so lonely :( I was desperately shy and terrified of boys in general, and he wasn't in my class, but looking back, I really wish I'd at least tried to talk to him. He was terribly thin and pale, with huge dark eyes and white-blond hair - it was as if he was barely there. He died not long after we left primary.

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hookiewookie29 · 04/12/2021 19:01

My best friend at primary school died in a car accident at the age of 18. Her boyfriend was driving, clipped the kerb and turned the car over.
Several years before that, her younger sister had passed away from a brain tumour.
How do people cope with that kind of loss?😪

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dashoflime · 04/12/2021 19:03

The daughter of our local MP died of head injuries from falling off an old fashioned climbing frame onto a concrete surface.
Didn't know him or his daughter. But I remember playing in the same playground and for some reason it's stuck with me.

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Cutelittlesquizzer · 04/12/2021 19:04

Oh OP that’s terrible. That poor family and so sad that your DM was haunted by the memory of all that little girl suffered.

I remember a little boy at primary when I was 6. I still remember his name 55 years later. He died from what I realised must have been leukaemia from what I was told about him not coming back to school. It was my first dawning realisation of what death meant. Though Im sure at 6 i can’t have really understood.

I think it’s really profound that so many of us still remember those who died so young. That they aren’t only remembered by their families but by those of us their short lives touched.

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Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead · 04/12/2021 19:06

My tutor from school married another teacher from our school. They had a baby, who tragically died not long after her birth.

All of out tutor group attended the funeral. This was years ago and I doubt it would happen these days, but I spoke to my tutor years later on Friends Reunited and he told me how much our tutor group meant to him and he remembers every single one of us all these years later.

He was a very special man and every now and again, I think of it and how sad it was for them.

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MadCattery · 04/12/2021 19:07

2007, my son was in high school and working outside on a car with a friend. They heard the crash (everyone did for a fair distance) and ran to find out what happened. The younger brother of one of his classmates had smashed his own car with such force that he and the 3 passengers died. The worst of it was the brother (son’s friend) and their father ran out of the house and the impact had decapitated the boy. The head had left the vehicle and his brother and father saw it. Tragic. Really just tragic.

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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 04/12/2021 19:07

In lucid moments she would talk about how she wished she was holding his hand

Heartbreaking

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liliainterfrutices · 04/12/2021 19:09

My friend in primRy school died when we were nine of cancer. I still remember every year on her birthday 24/10/1967.RIP Sandra.

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MojoMoon · 04/12/2021 19:10

Shocking how many of these are deaths by vehicles. We really should have better infrastructure and safer and slower road design as well as stricter enforcement of traffic rules.

I think often of a girl who was briefly at school with me aged 9 or 10 ish.
I realise now she was clearly the victim of some pretty horrific abuse - her behaviour and language was so sexualised and unsettling. She would be horrendously coquettish to adults. I shudder now to think what she must have experienced to be behaving like that and relating to adults like that.
At the time, I thought she was very naughty and (as a massive goody two shoes and swot), someone to be avoided and maybe even sneered at.
She was only there a few months and then disappeared suddenly to some sort of "special school".
I hope she got the therapy she needed and forged a happier life as an adult although sadly I am also old enough now to know how unlikely that is.

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CloseEncountersOfTheTurdKind · 04/12/2021 19:10

A girl in my year at school, Nicola, died in year 5 from a heart condition. I'll never forget the head telling us in assembly. Her class had been kept back in their classroom to be told separately, but her best friend was actually in my class. When the head told us that Nicola had died, her best friend Gabriella let out a cry of anguish I will never forget. Gabriella's Dad had died only a few months before. That poor little girl.

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Sumbisori · 04/12/2021 19:10

On the Death of Friends in Childhood
By Donald Justice
We shall not ever meet them bearded in heaven,
Nor sunning themselves among the bald of hell;
If anywhere, in the deserted schoolyard at twilight,
Forming a ring, perhaps, or joining hands
In games whose very names we have forgotten.
Come, memory, let us seek them there in the shadows.

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fourandtwo · 04/12/2021 19:11

@TrickyD

When DSs were about five and six, a little boy called David lived in our road. For some reason he had had a kidney removed.

He wasn’t a particularly pleasant child, but we told DSs that they must be nice to David as he only had one kidney.

Next thing we know, we hear them chanting
“You’ve got one kidney, you’ve got one kidney.’

I don’t think they had a clue what a kidney was.

I am sorry to say that thereafter he was always referred to by us all as David OneKidney so as to differentiate him from various other friends.

Despite this rocky start DSs have grown up to be considerate and kindly men..

This story doesn’t belong in this beautifully sad thread, and if it were mine I’d never tell a single soul as I’d be so embarrassed by my behaviour. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.
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luinagreine · 04/12/2021 19:12

My best friend when I was 17. We had a row and didn't see each other for a while, we rowed because she kept wanting to do stupid, dangerous things for fun and I didn't. A few months after we stopped seeing each other I saw on the front of the local paper that she had died doing a stupid, dangerous thing. I bet myself for so long, convinced that if we were still friends I would have talked her out of it like I talked her out of so many other things.

That was nearly 20 years ago and I still think about her often and her her motto 'live fast, die young', I don't think she ever thought she actually would though.

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Meatshake · 04/12/2021 19:15

@Starcaller

Andrew, a boy in our secondary school. Hung himself during Easter holidays. A popular, smart boy, plenty of friends. It still seems so unbelievable 20 years on.

E.P?

Same memory, same name. Still breaks my heart.
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Sagaris · 04/12/2021 19:15

My sister, aged 10, was rushed to a children's hospital with what turned out to be diabetes - my parents had taken her to the GP 4 times in the previous 2 weeks but he had missed the signs. They were distraught as they say by her bed on the ward, both crying. A tiny little boy with blond hair came up to them - he looked about 3 but was actually nearer 6 - said to them 'don't worry, they will take care if her, she's safe here' and stayed with them until the nurses chased him into bed. Turns out he had lived on the ward almost all his life, his parents had abandoned him at birth, he had serious heart defects which in those days couldn't be operated on. He used to look out for us every time we visited - he was very old for his years as he had spent all his time with the adults on the ward, visitors and staff. Thankfully my sister recovered and still went back for outpatient appointments - we always visited the ward to see him. One day he wasn't there, we were told that he had been adopted, but as I've got older I wonder if he had died and they didn't want to tell us. I often think of him and how lovely he was with my parents, the first night they met him.

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Curioushorse · 04/12/2021 19:17

Argh. Yes. Kids I've taught.

But I think the one that most affected the whole staff, and I don't think I've ever seen such collective sadness and anger. It's something I come back to almost daily.

We had an ex-student convicted of murder. It happened very quickly after he left our school. He became a gang leader, but this was a petty crime gone wrong.

Even typing this I'm so angry and sad I'll probably cry. He was one of the brightest kids I ever taught, and his mum so hard-working. She had two jobs to try and support him, but they never got their heads above water. They were homeless the whole time he was at our school. He was in shitty bed and breakfast accommodation and it just overshadowed his whole life.

Yes I have no doubt he committed the murder- but it was absolutely a preventable tragedy. His life was so shit and frustrating. His horizons were just so low.

I think about him every time I see those Eton fuckwits who run our country. Our school was only a few miles from Eton. If he'd had a hundredth of the opportunities that those Eton kids had I genuinely think he wouldn't have killed somebody. And now that's two lives ended.

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Lucythewonderdog · 04/12/2021 19:18

I remember a girl slightly older than me dying of meningitis when I was about 7. Her mum was a dinner lady at junior school and was lovely.

Years later her younger sister was murdered, she was a mother of 2 by then. Her poor mum.

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Comedycook · 04/12/2021 19:18

@Curioushorse. Oh gosh, that's heartbreaking

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zen1 · 04/12/2021 19:23

This story goes back more than 100 years, told to my dad by his mum about when she was a little girl at the beginning of WW1.

She was standing watching some of the men from their small town in a parade marching off to war. One of her friends (a little girl of a similar age - about 8) saw her dad marching with his regiment and broke away from the line of spectators at the side of the road and ran up to him. He picked her up and hoisted her onto his shoulders for a few meters, before putting her down and she ran back to the spectators, smiling.

That was the last time she saw him as he was killed in service a few months later. The story always gives me goose bumps because I was close to my dad and always imagined how that little girl felt knowing that would be her last memory of him.

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Frankii · 04/12/2021 19:25

@spiderlight

This thread has made me think of a little boy at my Junior school in the early 80s. He had a heart condition and couldn't run around and play, so he would spend every playtime in the corner by the door into the school, slowly walking up and down driving toy cars along the wall. I don't recall anyone else ever playing with him or keeping him company - he must have been so lonely :( I was desperately shy and terrified of boys in general, and he wasn't in my class, but looking back, I really wish I'd at least tried to talk to him. He was terribly thin and pale, with huge dark eyes and white-blond hair - it was as if he was barely there. He died not long after we left primary.

I wish I hadn't read this one. I don't know why but it's really affected me. Poor boy.
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Paddingtonthebear · 04/12/2021 19:28

When I was young I had a friend who died of leukaemia age 10. Whenever I see or hear the same name I think of her. I’m 45 now

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DottySpottyZigzag · 04/12/2021 19:30

I had a lovely friend called Holly at primary school. It was a tiny village school and I found it difficult to make friends, but she was so lovely. I remember dancing around the playground with her singing that I'd caught a frog after a pond-dipping lesson when I'd managed to net a frog!

Anyway I think in about Year 3 she moved away to another town about an hour's drive away. We just happened to be there shopping one weekend and my Dad bought the local paper. It was on the front page that she'd died in a house fire with Mum and siblings. Sad

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DottySpottyZigzag · 04/12/2021 19:32

Have just looked it up and I was slightly inaccurate, it was her Dad and her who passed away.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2639839.stm

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Derrymum123 · 04/12/2021 19:32

A boy in my secondary school lay down on a train track and was decapitated. He had been dumped by his older girlfriend a week earlier and took it badly. He was the most beautiful soul, funny, outgoing and handsome. His younger brother sat next to me in maths set. I never knew what to say to him and I often think of his brother. He was the best football player at the school and had his whole life ahead of him. It makes me so sad to think of how much despair he must have been in.

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