Random tragic memory found in my old diary **Content Warning** Title edited by MNHQ
cardiologist349275 · 04/12/2021 15:36
Sorry this isn't an AIBU but I didn't know where to put this. I was going through 20+ years of diaries and came across a story my mum told me before she died.
There was a little girl who went to school with my brother. She had a brain tumour. She was extremely unwell but still went to school every day, and one boy was always bullying her and pushing her over in the playground and she would cut her knees open all the time. The teacher was also a nasty bully (this was the 80s so she got away with it for years) and was very cruel to the girl because she had to wear trousers because she couldn't cope with a skirt, but she found the trouser buttons really hard to do up and the teacher would pick on her about it and not help her. She died on the day of the school play aged five.
My Mum was haunted by it and never forgot that little girl who she said was so, so sweet.
To add to the family's tragedy, their other daughter sadly suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and had to live in sheltered accommodation. One day about ten years ago the mother went to visit her, not knowing the daughter was having an episode and had snuck a knife into the flat. She was stabbed to death.
Though I never knew any of these people, I think of them often. Their tragedy has been lost to time, but I think if I remember them then they won't just be....gone.
Does anyone else have any memories of other people that come back to them in a haunting way?
Idontbelieveit14 · 04/12/2021 22:08
I remember a little girl from my primary school who was very small and had yellow skin and an NG tube, i presume she must have had something wrong with her liver. I think she was a bit younger than me but my friend lived near her so we used to go round and play with her, from what I remember she couldn’t walk. I’ve no idea what happened to her.
I also remember a boy from primary school a few years older than me who was in a wheelchair. I realise now he had Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy and he passed away as a teenager.
A boy who was the year below me at secondary school died in an avalanche while climbing a few years ago - age 24.
A boy who was the year above me died from undiagnosed heart condition while competing in a triathlon age 27.
WiseUpJanetWeiss · 04/12/2021 22:09
G was my friend’s elder brother. He had a “hole in his heart” and died when we were about 5.
B was in my French class when I was about 14 and acted very, very strangely for a few days. She was then off school for a short while before we heard she had a brain tumour, and she died. It seemed such a waste.
E was my mum’s neighbour’s granddaughter, and was the same age as my DS. She died of meningitis when she was 6. The funeral was covered on TV, I think because there were a lot of cases and new vaccines were just being introduced.
I think of them all.
Lifeisbeautiful01 · 04/12/2021 22:13
A little girl who died when I was at primary school. They played ‘Bright Eyes’ for her in assembly and I can’t listen to it without sobbing now.
A boy killed by a cricket ball in the school field after school. He went home laughing and died overnight.
A boy who I am ashamed to say I never spoke to. I think his name was Robert. He used to use the stairs after everyone else as he had poor mobility.He had a very large head and walked slowly and with a limp. I never wanted to pry but I always wanted to speak to him as he had no friends at school.
Life in the 1980s was so different- it’s hard to comprehend.
dohrgitdb · 04/12/2021 22:16
This is a tough read. Nice to know that these children aren’t forgotten
Waitwhat23 · 04/12/2021 22:17
A boy in my sister's year died of carbon monoxide poisoning - just didn't wake up in the morning. He was 15 and it was just awful. It shocked everyone because it was so sudden. He was a lovely boy.
My great uncle was almost 2 when he died of TB, over a hundred years ago. The family legend is that he had beautiful blond curls and was 'not long for this world'. His mother (my great grandmother) adored him. My Granny was only 6 weeks old when he died and in her mother's overwhelming grief for her son, she found it hard to bond with her new baby - my Granny's relationship with her mother was always strained. My wee one is coming up for two and I think of that wee boy who died so long ago and how hard it must have been for his mum who had to grieve for him while caring for a new born.
wincarwoo · 04/12/2021 22:19
Message deleted by MNHQ
DeltaFlyer · 04/12/2021 22:20
I worked with a lady who lost her youngest daughter aged 10 in a hit and run, driver never caught. This was the early 70s.
The mother turned to religion, a lot of different ones. She said she had tried to find peace but looked haunted.
She felt that her daughter might have survived if medical attention was given straight away. She was also disgusted that the driver just left and could be anyone she has walked past.
I knew the mother about 30 years after her daughters death and she would tell people little stories about her and always spoke as if her child was still alive and still a very much loved member of the family.
I do hope she found some peace but sadly I doubt it.
Justnotsureaboutit2021 · 04/12/2021 22:26
I knew someone who was killed in the Twin Towers attack. I often think about this guy and the decisions he would have had to have taken to try and save his life. As well as the moment when he realised that nothing was going to save him and that his death was imminent.
blissfulllife · 04/12/2021 22:26
My best friend at school died in a house fire. The house she was in was torched by vigilantes as the owner was child abuser. No idea why her family allowed her to stay there 😢. It rocked our community. I think about her a lot and light a candle for her
notthemum · 04/12/2021 22:31
One day he’d done something wrong at lunchtime so our head mistress got the whole school to stop eating and watch her tell him off. She made him drop his trousers and hit him on his bare bum several times with a table tennis bat. He cried.
It made me cry too, just from the shame and horror of having to watch it. I was maybe six at the time.
After leaving teaching, that head mistress became an arch deaconess for the Church of England.
OMG. This is horrendous. What a vile cow she was. Unbelievable that she became an arch deaconess. I am relieved that things have moved on now. This post made me cry. I have spent a lot of years working with children with what is sometimes referred to as challenging behaviour and autism as some people do not know any better. If he had been my child I'm afraid that I would have been the one in trouble because of what I would have done to her. I don't care if I get shouted for saying that . If there is such a place as Hell she definitely deserves to burn in it.
hilariousnamehere · 04/12/2021 22:37
Oh, these are such sad stories but I'm so glad that people remember the people who were lost young.
A boy I went to secondary school with, in my year, who was unfailingly kind to everyone despite being firmly in the popular crowd, went back to his home country for sixth form. He died at 17 in the middle of a football game from a previously undetected heart problem.
We got the news on Valentine's Day and I've never been able to celebrate it since. He'd have been 36 now - and apart from the occasional printed photo from our teenage years, there is no trace of him online - it was before social media and camera phones existed.
I think of him often, and always on the anniversary, especially as I get older and we all do things he won't ever get to. As a pp said, it was the first time I realised the fragility of life.
RicherThanYew · 04/12/2021 22:38
A special young girl who kept herself to herself was run over by a refuse truck and killed on her way to colĺect her GCSE's. She didn't have the easiest time in school, as is always the case when youre even slightly different but she was lovely.
gabsdot45 · 04/12/2021 22:38
I enjoy genealogy. I found a family once, mum, dad 3 or 4 children, Around the turn of the last century they all died within a few years leaving just the oldest child who was 6 when he was orphaned.
I tried to find him in the 1911 census but there was no sign of him. I hope he found someone to care for him.
Ive discovered in my research that most families had a baby or young child die and often more than one child was lost. How did they bear it.
CrapJumpersAndTea · 04/12/2021 22:39
William, who I was friends with when I was about 6 or 7. He was bullied remorselessly by others for being "different". Looking back, he clearly had SEN but I had no idea about such things back then. I hope he is well and happy now. Another friend had her leg amputated due to cancer aged 13. I remember us visiting her in the hospital with grapes and Jackie magazine and she was so cheerful, yet with her knee (sans rest of leg) propped up on a pillow. She died a few years later. It makes me very sad to think of her life cut so short.
ElEmEnOhPee · 04/12/2021 22:43
A girl in my year at secondary, was always a bit timid and "uncool", bullied relentlessly her mum would make her clothes for her so she was always bullied even more on own clothes day. I wasn't close with her but I recall threatening some other kids for picking on her once when I overheard. A friend of mine became quite close with her and turns out her step father had been raping her, I think the mum was aware and iirc she ran away to my friends house one night and told her everything. She's doing a lot better these days I think.
A boy in primary school, D, I guess I figured he had some kind of learning difficulties because his behaviour was strange. He would wee behind doors at school, he would eat food off the floor, he would chase us girls saying "I'm going to squeeze your boobies" (we were around 6 or 7 yrs old). He was laughed at, mocked, avoided ... I don't recall any teachers doing much to help him just punish him for his odd behaviours. When I got up to secondary school I got to the bus stop and he was there, we hadn't spoken much before but we both decided to skip school and go to the park instead. We had a heart to heart and he told me about the serious abuse he'd suffered at home, how his mum had taken her own life with him in the house (there was more to it than that but out of respect I won't divulge any more). He is doing good now. He moved away and seems happy.
What breaks my heart most is these kids who are bullied at school are often the ones that are also having the shittest time at home. If anything comes from the back of this thread I hope it's that people remind their children to be kinder, especially to those who seem like they might need kindness the most.
Cheeseandlobster · 04/12/2021 22:58
I'm autistic and very much fit the 'little professor' stereotype in primary school. So of course aged 5 or 6 I took it upon myself to tell everyone I could on the playground that Santa wasn't real and was scientifically impossible. The 'naughty boy' of the class took me aside and explained to me that he knew the truth, too, but even though we were right it was nicer not to tell the others. I didn't really understand, but he persevered. Looking back, he was late/absent a lot and dressed quite shabbily, and I suspect he knew because his parents couldn't or didn't get him 'Santa' presents. Having that kind of emotional awareness at such a young age was quite something, though, and I hope his life got better.
Even though there are more heartbreaking stories here, this has really touched me. The fact that a boy from such a deprived background had that level of kindness and emotional intelligence to care about his whole class like thet
RicherThanYew · 04/12/2021 23:00
This thread is so full of sadness that it is heartbreaking so I'll add this. I was in school with a girl who wad abused and neglected but apart from the bullies nobody seemed to notice how hard she had it. She never had a coat through the winter and just had a school jumper but sometimes not even that, just a shirt. I don't know if anyone noticed but she never ate with her group at lunchtime either and she didn't show up on non school uniform days. Usually when people go through that for so long life doesn't always get better but I have seen her and she has a family of her own now and is genuinely happy, in fact she is happier than most of my successful friends. Sometimes life works out ok.
TommyShelby · 04/12/2021 23:00
I can’t share your stories because it just breaks my heart but I remember you always.
thickthighs73 · 04/12/2021 23:04
A heartbreaking thread to read, but it’s touched me that so many of you are keeping your sad losses memory alive in your hearts and thoughts RIEP
Thebestusername1 · 04/12/2021 23:10
When we in college a bully lets call her chloe chloe was a nasty piece of work and fell pregnant but chloe partied hard and took drugs. She always bullied my group of pals for being too smart. Chloe had a stillborn baby no matter what chloe was like to us we would never wish that on her. I sometimes see her about now she has matured and has a grown up son but it still haunts me to remember her behaviour in college and what happened to her first born child.
MyCatHatesWhiskas · 04/12/2021 23:13
A boy in my class was killed in a car accident on New Year’s Day in the early years of secondary school, along with his grandad. I think of him every year around this time of year, and every New Year’s Day. It’ll be 28 years this year and he would have turned 40 this month. He’s been dead longer than he was ever alive, bless him. His mother lost her father and son on the same day, and he was an only child. I don’t actually know how you carry on.
It had a huge impact on our class, especially his closest friends. His seat sat empty for months and his best friend would roar at anyone who tried to sit there. I think the teacher eventually did a very tactful seating plan.
The other person I remember at this time of year is our form tutor, who died suddenly of cancer in his early thirties, around this time of year. A hugely talented teacher of true calibre, taken far too soon.
Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead · 04/12/2021 23:22
We had a mass in school after Hillsborough. One of the older boys got up to say a prayer as he lost a friend, who looking back, must have been about 14/15.
He totally broke down and started crying.
It was heartbreaking. And of course the JFT96 (now 97), every year I think about that assembly/mass.
PearlSlaghoople · 04/12/2021 23:23
Lovely kind boy at my infants and junior school. Years later purely by chance, his Mum rang our house to talk to my DF about a charity function. I took the message, and commented I once knew a lovely boy with the same surname many years previously, and I often thought of him as he was a kind and gentle boy She started crying… it was her only son and he had died before his teens, of cancer. She was so pleased that someone still remembered him so many years later. It is over 50 years ago now, and I still think of him.
gildalily · 04/12/2021 23:25
I had a friend at school whose dad died when she was 13 and her mum remarried shortly afterwards. We'd go and knock for her to come out and she'd say she couldn't as she was there with her stepdad, often her mum was at work. Turns out they were having what she called 'an affair'. Obviously she was being abused. I can remember us all being shocked but the way she told it was as though she was a willing participant. It was only when I got older that I realised what it actually was. This was 40 years ago and I see her sometimes, still. She has never married or been in a long term relationship of any type as far as I'm aware.
Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 04/12/2021 23:39
Also our main chef at boarding school was a young man, extremely happy and charismatic snd we all loved him. He always joked and laughed with us, always gave us snacks when we snuck into the kitchen. Heard a few years after I left he threw himself off the cliffs at Beachy Head. Really shocked me; he was just such a happy man, or appeared to be.
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