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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off my husband lost his wedding jacket?

459 replies

Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:09

He went on his Christmas do and not only did he decide it was on to walk home 2 miles in not the best weather (I still can't believe his friends would let him do that) but he lost our wedding jacket, that does make very, very pissed off/sad.

OP posts:
Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:29

@Terribleluck

What I meant was that his wonderful plan of just walking home (in his drunk mind) would have meant he'd get home around 5... He was planning to walk more than 2 miles at a very slow pace in the pouring rain.
But he didn't because it was well before 5 when you posted this thread? So you're lying about him and making things up
MichelleScarn · 04/12/2021 08:30

@Terribleluck

The "blaming" the friends only comes from them knowing him when he's drunk. He's fallen off boats when drunk and got himself in fairly dangerous situations, so if I had a friend who behaves that way, I would make sure he makes it home safely.
I stopped drinking with friends who were this reckless by 2nd year at uni, happy to socialise at any other time, but l wanted to enjoy my nights out too, not to have to have constant vigilance for their risky behaviour (and to then be blamed for them! Confused)
Beautiful3 · 04/12/2021 08:31

It's just a jacket. My wedding dress is in the loft, and possibly being eaten by moths as I write this!

OhRexy · 04/12/2021 08:31

@Terribleluck

He's completely passed out do how is this the silent treatment? It's not like we can have a conversation. I'm not pissed off he went out, but that he changed what we had agreed on. I was supposed to go and get him around 12, not try to figure out where he was at 3 in the morning.
He's not your child and he doesn't need a curfew.

Chill out ffs.

OhRexy · 04/12/2021 08:33

Reading on, he's a dick for taking his bonus out but I think that's his only crime.

Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

SexyNeckbeard · 04/12/2021 08:38

I reckon he secretly hates the jacket, his friends were taking the piss and it got lost on purpose.

Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:38

@Terribleluck

And he also lost his Christmas bonus :/
Unless he's fired that doesn't happen. Stop being pathetic.
Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 08:39

Anyways, he's gone back to try and find it anybody picked him in town, as he now thinks he randomly dropped it off while walking around town.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 04/12/2021 08:40

@speakout

lost our wedding jacket

Do you also wear the jacket?

OFGS

You know full well the 'our' refers to the wedding.

How would you have preferred that she had phrased it?

RealBecca · 04/12/2021 08:40

Yabvu to be annoyed about HIM losing HIS own jacket. It's his, no matter how sentimental you are about it.

Next time an easy way to avoid stress is to let him find his own way home so you don't wait up if this is inevitable.

My advice is choose frugal over more debt.

However, it comes across like you and the family are having to make sacrifices more generally to deal with debt while he is out pissing money down the drain at all hours. THAT would piss me right off.

BlusteringBoobies · 04/12/2021 08:41

@Terribleluck I think you need to take a deep breath. I have been on the job hunting boards (I use a different username) for months and have often commented on your threads.

You are just about to start a job that pulls you up, triples your salary to the point you're now able to think about getting gardeners in, paying kids uni fees and a real fresh start after having such a hard time searching and being done over from your previous employers.

Yes it is frustrating but let it go...focus on your wonderful news and enjoy the Christmas season knowing 2022 will be a better year for you all. 💐

MrsLarry · 04/12/2021 08:42

"Now it means we needs to either get into more debt or have to have a frugal season"

Yet you're going ahead with an alleged dinner party. If you're so skint then why on earth are you going to that expense?

OP, you're making yourself look rather silly now. There way too many holes in this story. Might be time to delete the thread.

Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:42

@Terribleluck

I didn't know about the Christmas bonus before him, he told me... And yes he always gets in it cash. Usually after their appraisal, but not this time. Now it means we needs to either get into more debt or have to have a frugal season.
Sounds massively illegal. Only reason you'd get a bonus in cash is to avoid the tax man.
HappyMeal564 · 04/12/2021 08:42

@Terribleluck

The "blaming" the friends only comes from them knowing him when he's drunk. He's fallen off boats when drunk and got himself in fairly dangerous situations, so if I had a friend who behaves that way, I would make sure he makes it home safely.
Sorry I did giggle a bit, if he gets so drunk he does things like fall off boats he should learn his limits, can't really blame his friends. I'd be annoyed about the money and the keys, not so much the jacket but at the end of the day it's a hard lesson and maybe he'll take note of his limit
Nanny0gg · 04/12/2021 08:43

WOW

The Saturday bitches vipers are out in force. Do actually go out of your way to be spiteful, or is it easy?

I can understand why you're upset OP.

Sentimental value, plus, if you were me, I'd be upset because he'd have to buy a new one.

Bonnealle · 04/12/2021 08:43

What the hell does your husband do where he gets his Christmas bonus in a brown paper envelope?!!! Is he always paid cash in hand, does he just pay tax when he feels like it? This is a bonkers set up, and would imagine illegal (unless it’s done in a certain way, which I won’t mention as it will then miraculously be in the next drip feed)! It’s two miles, could he have not got a taxi (could have used some of the brown envelope money for it!)? Why are you waiting up for him like his mum. This sounds a very weird, and completely not made up at all, story. I think losing the jacket is the least of your worries!

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 04/12/2021 08:45

Two miles is hardly a trek across the Sahara...... Unless he's made of sugar and likely to melt in the rain he'll be fine.
His jacket will probably turn up, get him to post on some local facebook groups.

He went out, got drunk and lost his jacket......like half the UK did last night. It's hardly the crime of the century. 😂😂😂

Bluntness100 · 04/12/2021 08:45

but he lost our wedding jacket, that does make very, very pissed off/sad

Did you share the jacket? Is that why you say it’s ours?

trumpisagit · 04/12/2021 08:47

Your problem is a husband who drinks to the point he can't look after himself, as a grown adult.
This is his fault (not his workmates, who are probably sick of him). Drunks are never fun.
I wouldn't worry about the jacket but would want to address the alcohol issues.
It's a terrible example to his 16 year old.

DrManhattan · 04/12/2021 08:47

Not sure how genuine this is
Cash bonus???

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 08:48

Thanks @Blustering! I guess I've just had such a crap time (in other ways) and then everything gets resolved but then there's these niggles. It might be petty I'm not sure, but I almost feel like I can't have a stretch of time without having to worry about something else.

OP posts:
nahnahna · 04/12/2021 08:48

Oh I hope he finds it op that's so annoying of him to get so drunk to lose everything.

Years ago went we worked in pubs the same happened to my friend, we got our cash bonuses and her bf lost the envelope out.

Sad
Jumpingintochristmas · 04/12/2021 08:50

@Terribleluck

Well it obviously doesn't help that we agreed he'd call me to pick him up, but never did. And he didn't answer his phone... But I'm really more annoyed with his friends about that. I'm not against him having a good time, but just either keep me posted or Kae sure you get home safely. I don't think I'm asking for anything too unreasonable.
This is absolutely understandable. Your husband is a grown up!
doubleshotcappuccino · 04/12/2021 08:51

Over the years you are likely to lose most of the material items from that day .. but if you're really lucky what matters will remain stronger