AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

[Rainbowlaceshelp]

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

@WildFlowerBees

Why do people have to make a show of being inclusive by wearing bloody rainbow laces?! What's wrong with you know just being inclusive by being nice to people regardless of sexuality? Isn't the LGBTQIA+ community sick of being defined by their gender/sexuality and all the virtue signalling yet, aren't they just like everyone else, humans just trying to go about their business?

Yes you're right and not wanting to be defined by sexuality but come back to me when you can't hold hands with your partner without verbal abuse or in some cases physical assault. So no we can't just go about our lives.

There's an awful lot of be kind coercion going on here. Please listen to the Nolan on Stonewall podcast, available on the BBC. It sets out how the tiny steps of being kind and supportive can have unintended consequences. It's chilling.

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p09yjmph

OP you're absolutely right, I had the same pop up in my Facebook feed about local schools funding Stonewall. Funding them via small donations raised by buying things like rainbow laces. At one point I would have thought be kind too. Not any more.

YANBU. Surely the whole point of a sports kit is to be neutral and inclusive. If the leaders agree to signal support for one cause where does it end? What if the leaders are approached by another cause which is more complicated or controversial?

Oh, and shortly after the transmission of the podcast the BBC withdrew from the Stonewall scam. (Joining a long list of escapee firms)

www.forbes.com/sites/jamiewareham/2021/11/10/bbc-defends-leaving-stonewall-we-are-not-impartial-on-human-rights/

If you’re not homophobic then I’d let it go and pick better battles. Maybe it’s slight overkill but kicking up a fuss would look so much worse.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

I'm truly amazed that a 12 year old has 'no opinion' on a matter like this. Sexuality is routinely discussed in the later years of most primary schools and certainly in secondary schools...

Except this isn't about sexuality. It is about a specific anti-gay and anti-women organisation.

@ManicPixie

If you’re not homophobic then I’d let it go and pick better battles. Maybe it’s slight overkill but kicking up a fuss would look so much worse.

And if you are homophobic then wear them to show support for the homophobic organisation that is Stonewall?

@UndertheCedartree

So many people seem to be missing that this is a Stonewall campaign. And Stonewall are not inclusive of homosexuals.

Yep. Stonewall are homophobic.

I am not happy to signal my support of a homophobic organisation.

An organisation that has called lesbians 'sexual racists' for not 'dating' transwomen (males) is not one I wish to support or endorse, tacitly or otherwise.

@ManicPixie

If you’re not homophobic then I’d let it go and pick better battles. Maybe it’s slight overkill but kicking up a fuss would look so much worse.

So not supporting a homophobic organisation makes you... homophobic?

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Well if just laces then there's no issues with not wearing them then.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this which isn't coloured by my resistance to allowing them to be used as a political pawn by Stonewall.

I work with kids aged 12 ‘you’re gay/homo/fag/lezza’ is used as an insult daily and we have to deal with it, they are not too young at 12 to have an opinion.

Totally over thinking it.. if you're really against it just tell your daughter to say she forgot to change them.
Honestly some people just crave the drama🙄

How does rainbow laces help gay and lesbian people? Is that somehow going to end homophobia? It’s just empty virtue signaling.

[quote whereisthekey]@WildFlowerBees easier if weren't being continually abused. anything online lgbt related has comment after comment of filth . just look at the reaction to same sex strictly dancers even, never mind going into Instagram or Facebook etc. there's a long way to go still.[/quote]
Oh yes. And professional dancer Jo Baiao has said that Strictly shouldn’t use the term ‘same-sex couple’ because it’s transphobic.

Christ, this site is a cesspool of hate these days.

Well I for one won’t be holding my breath for a campaign in schools which encourages support for people with disabilities by insisting children wear a specific accessory to support them.

@Audeca

Christ, this site is a cesspool of hate these days.

Do please use the usual channels to report any “hate” you see on here.

As a gender critical feminist YANBU.

As a bisexual woman who supports any opportunity to raise awareness and inclusion, I ignore stonewall and have bought my own 'snide' rainbow laces in order to show support. Without giving money to them, and quietly supporting womens sports to stay single sex. Which in rugby, is a whole other thread.

You have my sympathy OP, I would go with whatever achieves the greater good.

Christ, this site is a cesspool of hate these days.

Refusing to unthinkingly support any campaign which has a rainbow plastered over it is not hateful. You may find reading the thread helpful.

Telling lesbians they are sexual racists for defining their own boundaries and refusing to sleep with people with penises is pretty hateful,we use to call that corrective rape but apparently it's now progressive. If you want to continue supporting SW knowing that is their position then you will have to concede the moral high ground.

@jesstommin Genuine question, but raise awareness of what? Nobody is unaware that different people have different sexual preferences? What does wearing rainbow laces actually support?

I don't know why you're so upset and angry about this? The team are trying to show they're inclusive, that's a good thing.

How is 12 too young to have an opinion? At 12, kids are already starting to have 'feelings' for people - many also know they're gay at that age.
If a child is having those feelings, knowing their football team are open and supportive will help them feel safer to be themselves.

@Pickles89 it is incredibly lonely and isolating to feel as though you are the only one in your team/friendship group/office who is same-sex attracted. When straight people show that they support you, even if you are not OUT, then it's comforting.

In professional sports, there is always a risk that same sex attracted players will be outed at any moment. The fear is real. Knowing teammates will support them is massive. It doesn't really matter if it's a stonewall backed campaign or not when you are in the thick of it. I wish it wasn't, and would love The FA to back away from stonewall as other organisations are doing, but in the mean time, I can live with it.

The majority of people don't see the harm, and when they see straight allies supporting same sex attracted players and fans then it's a positive thing overall. We need to be pragmatic and take the wins where we can.

*the harm in Stonewall.

What can you do?

Er, lace his boots and send him off to play rugby.

What issue is there to “confront”? If he asks anything just answer his questions in an age appropriate way.

This really isn’t a big deal.

YANBU to be so very "upset and angry" about a pair of shoelaces, yes.

If your dd doesn't want to wear them, and isn't just parroting you, but has her own beliefs and informed decisions, then should should not wear them, and calmly explain why she objects to them to anyone who asks.

This really isn't a thing to be very angry and upset over.

I did have to laugh at whoever it was that said there weren't many gay rugby players...... my dd has played in 5 different teams, and that really isn't her experience AT ALL.

There should be freedom of choice.