To want somewhere to live!!!! (preferably with some form of heating)

[noughty]

Ok; I'm not really asking AIBU but want to know if anyone has any suggestions that could help us. Have name changed as am embarrassed by the situation I find myself in. Builders have renedered my house unliveable at the mo, don't want to go into big details as it makes me feel like sobbing. I am trying to sort it out but know that we won't be back in till Feb at earliest. Still paying mortgage of course so not able to afford to pay a London rent on a second place til we can get back in. Meanwhile stayin at Mum's accross London; boiler has gone on her entire block of flats so no heating for who knows how long; it's already been a week. She's gone to stay with friends and me and 2 yr old DS are sleeping in tracky bottoms, socks and woolly jumpers and DH is squatting in our building site of a house looking knackered so he can be near work and also he's kind of had his fill of staying with his in laws now. May need to pursue builders through the courts, etc. etc. nightmare nightmare. Has been like this for two months, not living with DH, staying at Mums and getting in their way. Can't bear the thought of doin it another 2 months or more. Luckily we are going to jump in the car and go to friends up North for Xmas. Back Jan 4th. Wonder if anyone had any helpful suggestions re accomodation. Clapham or nearby. Any housesitting opportunities? We are very reliable and nice people (just having terrible luck!). Can give glowing references as have house sat an American family's home two years ago (before baby came along), fed their three dogs, watered their plants and even supervised some work they needed done on their house while they flew back to US for medical treatment for 4 months. Or maybe a landlord has a place that is in between tenants and could do us a deal on? Or you'd be happy to rent your home short term if you'll be out of town. Or maybe some nice family has a Granny flat we could stay in in exchange for rent or childminding. Am hanging out with my 2 year old every day so if it mean a place of our own would happily have another kid tag along with us. WE'd love to negotiate any deal as I am so desperate to have a little home now that is just us, me, DH and DS. We've had so much upheaval since DS was born I don't feel like my feet have touched the ground.

I feel for you on the non-heating thing. Our house is not centrally heated either and we live in Carlisle. We have a very small and rather shit real fire that throws out heat so long as you sit right in front of it. Other than that we rely on electric heaters. The house is very very cold atm and the windows in the bedrooms are dripping with condensation in the mornings.

This house is not ours either, it's on a short-term rental so we could be chucked out at any time really, with 3 months notice (or it could be 1 now, I haven't checked).

You may have already done this, but list yourself with every housing agency in your area. Ring them every week. Sometimes in these private housing agencies, a sympathetic official can bump you up the waiting list.

Take advice from Shelter too.

Thanks Cliff Richard. I'm just feeling like I'm between a rock and a hard place- can't get back into my home;can't go and spend big rent on another place; can't hang out at my folks much longer as they are dropping HUGE hints to get us out. Feeling abit sorry for myself. I can't wait for the day when DS can have a bedroom and me and DH can be in one place. Ds is in a corridor at Mum and dads which is fine but I'm truely getting to the end of my camping out tolerance now.

Have you tried a Youth Hostel? They have family rooms and you can keep the cost down by being self catering.

Oops forgot.

www.yha.org.uk/

Thanks for suggestion. One at Kings Cross with family room available but £75 per night so more expensive than a flat it seems. More than £2000 a month! I guess this is London so not the same as a nice rural youth hostel. When this house is done up I am bloody well getting the hell out of London!! Actually i might sod it and get the hell out sooner. Forgot I can't as DH has his business here. I'm starting to really dislike the city though; nothing is easy.

hi have no advice right now but am sending masses of sympathy- having been in temp accom right now but going back soon, i understand [hugs]

will be back later, hope you get sorted.xx

Thanks Oopsitis. I just had a huge sobbing fit at my Dad; I feel so guilty now. He made some comment about DS's cot in the corridor getting in his way and I couldn't really hold it in I just flipped abit. At least when i calmed down we talked a bit about my situation and what I can do about it. I feel so nervous cos the Building Insurance legal protection people spoke to me yeaterday and I'm not sure but I get the sneaky feeling they are going to wriggle out of helping us with a claim. And it'll be a BIG wad of money to sort out what these builders have done. If we aren't able to get them through the courts it'll be up to me and DH to cough up for it and that sounds like it's gonna be on top of paying a rent somewhere else while our house is unliveable and of course paying the mortgage on an unliveable house. My DH is gonna freak! Am gonna try the Building Federation today to see if they have advice. Will try that block of flats that Lala recommended to me earlier in the thread as they haven't called me back.

Actually as I now have a huge headache from sobbing I think I'm gonna walk out up to the High St and get DH an xmas pressie. When I get back I might feel more clearheaded and can start the fight/hunt again- fight against the builders, hunt for acoomodation. Anyway it's colder in this flat than it is outdoors at the mo!! Hoping to get heating back tomorrow or Thursday.

Sorry its a bit crap for you just now - just try to bear in mind in the grand scheme of things it's only a couple of months til Feb not a lifetime (although probably feels like it).

If it looks as if Ins Co are turning down your claim - get some advice re; your policy from CAB.

Can't really offer any practical housing advice but hopefully someone will come along in a minute.

Sorry you are feeling so bad Noughty and sorry if it seems as if I am stalking you but I remember how awful having builders in was so trying to think of some solution. Does your new home have any off-street parking? Could you fit caravan in it? Could you look into hiring large caravan (apparently they are very comfortable these days) and using Crystal Palace campsite (020 8803 6900)? Do you work? Do you need to be in London? Could you find v cheap off-season holiday let in Cornwall or somewhere for a couple of months?

Keep on at JS Estates - apart from WEstbury Court they have a large block in Brixton and probably others as well.

I don't know what the problems you have had with your builders are or whether they owe you money or what has happened but, if it is in any way a write-offable sum, I would concentrate on getting house done and worry about fighting them in courts later. It's your home (and possibly your sanity) at stake here so I think it is best to make that your priority. Is there any way your parents can be persuaded to put up with you a little longer? If so, I would use rent money on hiring kick-ass project manager and get house finished.

Hi Lala, No it doesn't feel like stalking-it feels like caring!! Enough to bring tears to the eye of a soppy burnt out Mum such as myself. I love the idea of a caravan! In Cornwall especially. But yeah DH needs to be in London for work, nearish to Clapham hopefully so we can keep an eye on progress at our house and also for his work. I left the bloke JS Estates say is in charge of Westbury two msgs; one today, one yesterday so hope to hear back. will keep on at him. I don't have huge hopes that we can get money off the builders; I don't know why but I'm just not hopeful. Meanwhile we're getting folks in to judge what went wrong and how to fix it. Sorry to be vague but once it's all fixed and sorted I'll tell you the long grim tale (if you want, that is!) but at the mo it just makes me come out in hives of anxiety thinking about it. The fact remains we won't be in there for a while yet. And starting to think we should do a Sarah Beany and just stay elsewhere and do it as a project then sell the bugger, as going back in to live there with a 2 year old and building work, even once it is safe, is not a happy life. God, you're not sarah beany are you?! That would be cool. Isn't she a Clapham Mum?
Trying to find temporary accomodation WAS actually an attempt to preserve my sanity as living at my folks with little comments about how inconvenient we are is making me so twitchy. Also don't have DH here. I had a bit of a wobbler earlier today (see previous post) but am feeling abit calmer and sorted now so will get on with the talking to folks who know about how to fix our F* up. I'm Ok with the folks till Dec 24th then off up North til Jan 4th. Thank you for your concern and your ideas.

I'm glad i can rant on here as my Mum's gone to stay with frinds and most everyone else is busy with Xmas and family and I'm here on my own with DS and my dad who isn't the best at emotional support. DH is workin long hours and ain't so hot at it either.
I think home is a very emotional topic for us Mums. I have been on edge almost the whole time that our house has been a building site. I want HOME! I want a little bedroom for my boy. I know it seems lke Feb isn't far off but it might not even be sorted by Feb and even if it is there's still loads more work to be done on the rest of the house. Plus I haven't had a place that isn't either someone else's home that we're staying in or isn't a building site for nearly two years. (20 months to be precise) Sorry to whinge but it's better to whinge here than phone Dh at work and sob and annoy him.

Just had nasty email from the builders. No real reason for posting; just keeping it bumped and trying not to feel alone

Just had nasty email from the builders. No real reason for posting; just keeping it bumped and trying not to feel alone

have you spoken to a solicitor? If your builders have rendered your house unliveable in, they may be liable for alternative housing costs until they make it habitable? I would check with a solicitor

(of course this means bugger all if the builders have no money or disappear in order to avoid paying up)

I'm waiting for the paperwork from my building insurance as I have legal protection cover. have sneaky feeling building insurers might wriggle out of it but that's just me being a bit pessimistic about insurance as I never seem covered by what happens to me!

Really can't say I blmae you, I would be so fustrated in your situation tbh.
I have no useful advice as I'm in a poretty crappy situation myself actually I've been pretty narked this week and I've got a home, we got home at 3am on sat to find the living room carpet soaked because the radiator has leaked and the washing machine door fell off last week and dp's car has been off the road fro over a mth and it feels like we will never get everything sorted my business isnt doing so well, 2 customers have given notice this month and so my wages have dropped considerably and there seems to be a strange rank smell coming from the toilet - this has been on going since we moved in but i have hope the same as you that sometime in feb things will look brighter. Just wanted to give you some sympathy because your situation is so crap, it really must be wearing you down. Thing is though what choice do you have but to plod on in hope it gets better soon?

Yeah,LovemyG, what choice do we have but plod on? I feel so powerless; I can't fix my bloody house on my own!! I'm so impatient to get things sorted; i hate the wait for other people (builders). When will it end? I've been trying to pull myself together as life is going to be full of stumbling blocks and I can't go around wasting time feeling so grim and dour. I've got to find a way to feel positive even when times are shit. Maybe drugs!!! My head hurts. Anyway some good news is that the heating just came back on at my Mum and Dad's flat!! So I might be overstaying my welcome, and being estranged from DH, and living out of a cardboard box, and Ds in the corridor, but it's gonna get warm! Hurrah!!! Life will probably seem easier when we've got the heat back. I can hear the radiators rattling into life now, fingers crossed; it's an ancient building!

Contact Charles Mathews of Ayldens (020 7737 5897). He is a chartered surveyor, a one-man band, eccentric but very good. He will go round to your house and be able to work out exactly what has gone wrong and what needs doing and will tell you how best to approach it. You can probably get him out before Christmas - he isn't cheap but he is cheaper than many iyswim.

The person at Westbury Ct isn't called Les is he?

You're so kind Lala. I'll talk to Charles Matthews. I can't recall the name of the guy who I've left msgs for at Westbury. When i call they say "So and So deals with Westbury but he's out; I'll put you through to his voicemail" Then i leave him a msg but can't right now recall his name; he had a foreign accent but I can't say more than that! I'll call again in the morning. they said he often doesn't come into the office till after lunch and he's unpredictable as to when he is or isn't in the office, but i will try and track him down.

No Les is about 80 and the caretaker there - he is from Leeds and sounds as if he lives off fags and meths (he is very nice though). My friend lives in block so I know it quite well.

No I haven't come accross Les yet. My DH has got his blinkers on about our situation a bit and I'm trying to think how to persuade him to pay out on a rent. I guess he thinks it'll be sorted soon but I'm the one looking into it as he works long hours and it really is not gonna get sorted soon. And I guess he doesn't sit back and think "Right, how do we preserve our sanity here" He just goes on gettin worked up and getting exhausted. I have tried to tell him my folks want us out in jan but his work just fills his head and he can't pay attention to much else. Or if it's a difficult situation then he just chooses not to think about it.

The heating's gone off again! It came on for about an hour and we all got totally overexcited but it's off now and engineers aren't back till tomorrow Brrr!

Heating is back on! No hot water but radiators are on. Still on the hunt for accomodation and trying to get the guts up to phone the builders

Am trying to chill out about it as everyone has a hard time so I have to get a grip. I'm sure one day we'll all be back living together. Hopefully I'll look back on this time and it'll seem insignificant. Might try letting agents in case there's a flat someone is having trouble finding tenants for and would consider a short let. I think /hope jan is a hard time for landlords to find folks so we might be in with a chance of a cheap one. Have to think up some money making schemes. Am gonna sort through junk for potential ebay money makers.