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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you date a binman?

641 replies

TrishM80 · 02/12/2021 09:17

Inspired by another thread about being a binman as a career.

You meet a guy on a night out or OLD. Seems nice enough and nice looking, all good. Tells you he's a binman.

YABU - immediate turn off
YANBU - give him a chance

OP posts:
5128gap · 02/12/2021 15:18

Right. So for those who are finding the other class based threads a bit heavy, we now have entertain ourselves at the expense of the WC lite? Honestly, its like something that would be giggled over in a teen girl dorm room. Bin men and women are not a sub species to debate whether you would lower yourself to date them or not. Its really offensive.

Brieandcamembert · 02/12/2021 15:58

I'm sure most bin men are completely lovely and I have nothing against them. However, I admit it would be a turn off as I like an intelligent career minded type.

Fluffymule · 02/12/2021 16:33

@5128gap

Right. So for those who are finding the other class based threads a bit heavy, we now have entertain ourselves at the expense of the WC lite? Honestly, its like something that would be giggled over in a teen girl dorm room. Bin men and women are not a sub species to debate whether you would lower yourself to date them or not. Its really offensive.
Yes.

So we now have live threads where nobody wants to live amongst certain people be it Wigan or any other Northern working class town full of 'racists, bigots, violent thugs, lazy feral pigs'.

Now we have threads where some won't consider dating 'unintelligent', 'unambitious', men of a 'lower social level'.

God help a bin man who also comes from Wigan. Although I'd wager he'd deserve much better than some of the posters on this site who would look down on him.

myamie · 02/12/2021 16:39

Yes!

Two of my much loved uncles were bin men and they were hard working, lovely chaps.

I'd just want the man to have a shower before kissing me!

forinborin · 02/12/2021 16:48

Be fucked without them though. A need to have in your life but not worth knowing as people.
And again, I never said that they are not worth knowing as people. The thread was specifically about entering a serious romantic relationship with a binman.

LuckyAmy1986 · 02/12/2021 16:52

Not going to lie, it wouldn't be my ideal as one of the reasons I am attracted to DH is his ambition. BUT it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me if he was nice, funny, good looking etc.

CaliforniaDrumming · 02/12/2021 16:55

So basically it is ok to reject someone because he is not good looking or you are not attracted to him, but not ok to reject someone because he is not ambitious. So ok to be shallow but not a snob. A very Disney princess view, I think, which I don't really see IRL.

coogee · 02/12/2021 16:56

Now we have threads where some won't consider dating 'unintelligent', 'unambitious', men of a 'lower social level'.

My husband was a bin man when he was young and just needed a job, any job. He’s now an academic at one of the UK’s top ten universities.

He doesn’t smell of bins any more.

230pm · 02/12/2021 16:59

Yeah absolutely would! Down to earth, no afraid of hard work and they make decent money!!

user22222 · 02/12/2021 17:14

My partner has been a bin man for the past few months, after the demolition firm he worked at for years went bankrupt and closed down.

He gets up at 5am every morning to be out in the van for 6, he does over 30,000 steps every working day and is knackered when he gets home.

I'm once seen him doing out street while I was working from home and could not have been more proud of him out there.

Ragwort · 02/12/2021 17:17

I should think chatting to someone about their day who worked outside, in the community, out and about, meeting people, finding treasures etc etc would be a lot more interesting than many people's daily lives .. my DH sells highly specialised scientific instruments.... nothing particularly interesting about that if you're not in that line of work, my DB had a highly technical role in IT dealing with the intricacies of logistics ... again, not much scope for a chat about what he did all day Hmm.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 02/12/2021 17:20

Probably not. One of my relatives is a bin man and spends a lot of time complaining about his job. I know it's a sweeping generalisation but I couldn't be doing with a moaner.

Overthebow · 02/12/2021 17:21

No because he’s be up and out way too early for work. Nothing to do with the type of job though!

HunterGatherer · 02/12/2021 17:22

@Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead

Binman yes. Tory no.
Grin
TractorAndHeadphones · 02/12/2021 17:36

@forinborin

Be fucked without them though. A need to have in your life but not worth knowing as people. And again, I never said that they are not worth knowing as people. The thread was specifically about entering a serious romantic relationship with a binman.
I personally wanted someone in an shortage profession that's globally available. On that criteria alone someone's who's 'only' a binman is out. At the stage of my life where I was actively looking for a partner with a view to a serious relationship I had enough suitable men to deal with. Why would I need to give anyone who didn't a 'chance'?

However if I was younger and dating around, or happened to meet someone I clicked with when I wasn't really looking and had no life plan I'd just go with the flow and see what connection we had.

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/12/2021 17:39

@CaliforniaDrumming

So basically it is ok to reject someone because he is not good looking or you are not attracted to him, but not ok to reject someone because he is not ambitious. So ok to be shallow but not a snob. A very Disney princess view, I think, which I don't really see IRL.
This exactly! I don't agree with all the comments making assumptions about what someone's like from their profession. But equally it's ridiculous to say that 'anything' is a shallow reason for rejection. I know a couple of people for example who only want to date dark haired people, or those of their own race (not white). They've never been single. Clearly their criteria isn't preventing them from getting what they want.

@coogee did you begin dating him when he was a binman?

CaliforniaDrumming · 02/12/2021 17:40

Wow @TractorAndHeadphones you are really specific:) As is your right of course.

iklboodolphrednosedpaindear · 02/12/2021 17:48

What the what? Why would it make any difference?

Mama1980 · 02/12/2021 17:53

Absolutely.

Fizzypeas · 02/12/2021 17:55

So my ideal man was 6ft, handsome, well educated and similar earning potential to me.

In my 20s I dated guys in similar jobs to bin men../didn’t really discriminate…think it was easier when you would meet men on a night out as you didn’t judge them initially on anything other than looks.

However it never worked out and I knew it wouldn’t because I always had this nagging feeling like I wanted them to better themselves and earn more and be more acceptable to my family and my own view of an idea man.

So anyway, I try OLD, apply my ‘ideal man’ filters and only date from that pool and low and behold i meet Mr Ideal man and he’s everything I imagined and we got married and now have a family.

Is that shallow? I’m not sure…so for me, the bin man thing would put me off I’m afraid….but only after my experiences of dating men who didn’t really fit what I was truly after.

inawe · 02/12/2021 17:58

A friend of mine's partner was a street sweeper (he'd worked as an engineer previously). Lovely guy, physically very fit for his age, caring, kept an eye out for vulnerable residents. He's retired now and much missed in the areas he covered.
Another friend is a builder with his own business - he's loaded! And an old school friend who runs his own building company building houses in the most expensive area of our county is the richest person I know. Still very hands on at nearly 60, and also lives in one of the multi million pound houses he builds.

coogee · 02/12/2021 18:05

coogee did you begin dating him when he was a binman?

No, I don’t think my parents would have approved. Or his.

I was about seven years old.

SoSoTiredToday · 02/12/2021 18:09

Wow yes! (Well I'm very happily married so actually - no I wouldn't because I'm married! But .. in a hypothetical world where I wasn't married and was single then..) yes definitely! Bin men tend to be very hard working, very fit, very resilient! I also know a few who are very kind! What's wrong with bin men?

funinthesun19 · 02/12/2021 18:19

Only on MN is it unfathomable that some of us have jobs, rather than careers and are happy about it. There is more to life than work. I dare say a 'bin man' has a better work-life balance than a lot of people.

Totally agree! I don’t understand why the only way you can possibly be happy with yourself and your life is if you have a career.

To me, work-life balance is very important. Much more important than 8-6 career job. I’d rather earn less money and have more freedom. I don’t care if people interpret that as me having no ambition. Getting up early every morning and doing an honest days work for your family is ambition.

SarahBellam · 02/12/2021 18:21

As long as he didn’t bring his work home with him.