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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you date a binman?

641 replies

TrishM80 · 02/12/2021 09:17

Inspired by another thread about being a binman as a career.

You meet a guy on a night out or OLD. Seems nice enough and nice looking, all good. Tells you he's a binman.

YABU - immediate turn off
YANBU - give him a chance

OP posts:
TractorAndHeadphones · 02/12/2021 18:29

@coogee

coogee did you begin dating him when he was a binman?

No, I don’t think my parents would have approved. Or his.

I was about seven years old.

So he was a binman long before you met him - how is that relevant? I get that you're trying to counter the binmen are unintelligent, unambitious etc etc but I took the OP to mean dating someone who was a binman - and likely to remain that way. Not binman while actively looking for a better job etc. Of course interpretations vary and this is just my own as the OP never said that Because in the latter case they're unlikely to remain a binman for very long so it's a bit of a cop out. To say 'oh a binman can be a top academic' means you're not really satisfied with a binman as he is. He just happened to be one on the way to something bigger and better.

Now if you said my hubs is a binman but is v well read etc etc then it makes sense. Just the the way I see it. Quite a few of DP's family are in manual jobs but are also worldwise and intelligent. Meanwhile I've met graduates who aren't capable of thinking for themselves!

coogee · 02/12/2021 18:35

So he was a binman long before you met him - how is that relevant?

I get that you're trying to counter the binmen are unintelligent, unambitious etc etc

Then why are you asking why it’s relevant?

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/12/2021 18:50

@coogee

So he was a binman long before you met him - how is that relevant?

I get that you're trying to counter the binmen are unintelligent, unambitious etc etc

Then why are you asking why it’s relevant?

Because re binman not being a turn off . is that because 'binmen can advance as well' or do they really not care what their OH's profession is? A lot of people on the surface say they'll give people a chance but secretly hoping that they will change and live up to expectations. Like the PP who got her 'ideal man'.
Maybe other people have the opposite life experience - relaxed their criteria and found that someone who wasn't their 'ideal' made them happier than they could've ever imagined. Still others 'settle'. Still others don't really think about it and it's chance really whether they end up happy long term.

I guess we will never know because IRL there are many factors and we cannot predict what ifs.

S2617 · 02/12/2021 18:51

Better than half the scum out there by a long way, hard working and actually does a job that matters for zero thanks.

MrsDThomas · 02/12/2021 18:53

I work in local government and the binmen are on a higher payscale than i am.

I need to consider a change of career.

CovidCurious · 02/12/2021 18:53

Yes. But if it got to the stage of living together we sure as hell would have separate bedrooms. I refuse to be woken at whatever Godforsaken time bin men have to get up.

Hayder · 02/12/2021 18:59

OP why would you ask this ? Are they a decent bloke? Do they treat me with respect ? Do we ‘get on’ ? If yes to the above of course I wound date them.

irregularegular · 02/12/2021 19:03

Well I guess I wouldn't rule him out absolutely. But I think that if this is more than a temporary fill-in job, it's fairly unlikely that we'd have all that much in common to be honest. It's therefore not got much hope of being anything more than very casual dating. Intelligence - of a fairly "intellectual" type - is very important to me. More important than looks. Much more important than money. Not as important as being kind.

Plenty of jobs would fall in the same category, not just bin men!

I've never actually had a conversation with a bin man, so this is pure prejudice I suppose.

Snog · 02/12/2021 19:19

Binman yes
Footballer no

Mrstamborineman · 02/12/2021 19:49

He’s earning an honest wage and self sufficient.
What is the issue?

Kamelion · 02/12/2021 20:19

I have a lot of contact with a waste management company through my work and most of their high earning senior managers started out on the bins and worked their way up.

Binfairy · 02/12/2021 21:03

I'm a binwoman, in that I work in local government waste services. My boyfriend is an ICU consultant and is very supportive of my career. Most of the male managers I work with started out as bin men and worked up and now earn very good salaries with excellent local government pensions. Drivers have HGV licences so are in demand and many do winter gritting as well. I started as a litter warden, did technical qualifications, an MBA part time and became a Chartered Waste Manager. I am proud to be part of a vital industry, worked right through the pandemic and am very happy in my job. It's actually incredibly interesting and has a strong environmental dimension. I am sadly not surprised by some of the attitudes on this thread. In the city where I work, our crews do a compressed four day week and there are plenty of opportunities for advancement. I've met office workers with worse BO than most of the crews I know. If my son or daughter wanted to enter our industry I'd be proud.

BiscuitLover3679 · 02/12/2021 21:19

@Binfairy

I'm a binwoman, in that I work in local government waste services. My boyfriend is an ICU consultant and is very supportive of my career. Most of the male managers I work with started out as bin men and worked up and now earn very good salaries with excellent local government pensions. Drivers have HGV licences so are in demand and many do winter gritting as well. I started as a litter warden, did technical qualifications, an MBA part time and became a Chartered Waste Manager. I am proud to be part of a vital industry, worked right through the pandemic and am very happy in my job. It's actually incredibly interesting and has a strong environmental dimension. I am sadly not surprised by some of the attitudes on this thread. In the city where I work, our crews do a compressed four day week and there are plenty of opportunities for advancement. I've met office workers with worse BO than most of the crews I know. If my son or daughter wanted to enter our industry I'd be proud.
This is really interesting and thank you for for insight. I tbink a lot of People genuinely don't understand the industry.

Also please do an AMA thread!

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 02/12/2021 21:39

Absolutely yes.
Good steady, recession proof job (we're always going to need bin men!), likely employed by local council so decent benefits.
Nowt wrong with a manual "low skilled" job!

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 02/12/2021 21:42

@irregularegular

Well I guess I wouldn't rule him out absolutely. But I think that if this is more than a temporary fill-in job, it's fairly unlikely that we'd have all that much in common to be honest. It's therefore not got much hope of being anything more than very casual dating. Intelligence - of a fairly "intellectual" type - is very important to me. More important than looks. Much more important than money. Not as important as being kind.

Plenty of jobs would fall in the same category, not just bin men!

I've never actually had a conversation with a bin man, so this is pure prejudice I suppose.

I'm not sure that the type of job you do defines your intelligence. Plenty of very intelligent people working in lower paid jobs, by choice or by circumstance.
AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 02/12/2021 21:46

@funinthesun19

Only on MN is it unfathomable that some of us have jobs, rather than careers and are happy about it. There is more to life than work. I dare say a 'bin man' has a better work-life balance than a lot of people.

Totally agree! I don’t understand why the only way you can possibly be happy with yourself and your life is if you have a career.

To me, work-life balance is very important. Much more important than 8-6 career job. I’d rather earn less money and have more freedom. I don’t care if people interpret that as me having no ambition. Getting up early every morning and doing an honest days work for your family is ambition.

Agree. Also I knew (well, knew of) a bin man. Out for work at 6am, back home again by about 2pm. Had most of the day free. Seems a nice life to me!
DrierThanANunsNasty · 02/12/2021 21:48

Now I remember why I gave myself a sabbatical from the sheer madness on this site…

MissCruellaDeVil · 02/12/2021 21:52

I would give him a chance, shows he is committed if he gets up early and he's probably physically fit!

NinaDefoe · 02/12/2021 22:02

Assuming those who do low paid jobs are uneducated or intellectually inferior is one of the biggest mistakes a person can make.

My hairdresser and childminder are both paid just a little more than minimum wage.
My hairdresser has a degree in English and a PGCE. My childminder has a degree and an MA.
I work with TAs who are retired SLT and middle managers. They have very decent pensions.

People don’t always work for status or even money.

WaitingForTheGhostTrain · 02/12/2021 22:05

I guess only a snob would say no. I am married to one. He earns good money and he is making a living in an honest job, why wouldn't someone go out with one .....?

NinaDefoe · 02/12/2021 22:07

Just to add - I wouldn’t consider ‘Refuse collector’ to be a low paid job. I was just making the point that people should never judge a book by its cover...

forinborin · 02/12/2021 22:11

I'm not sure that the type of job you do defines your intelligence.
Plenty of very intelligent people working in lower paid jobs, by choice or by circumstance.
I think the type of the job absolutely does. The salary, not so much.
But, based on this thread, I find the number of PhDs, engineers, writers and philosophers working as bin men and cleaners quite alarming.

Workinghardeveryday · 02/12/2021 22:13

Shallow. Shallow. Shallow.

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/12/2021 22:15

@Binfairy

I'm a binwoman, in that I work in local government waste services. My boyfriend is an ICU consultant and is very supportive of my career. Most of the male managers I work with started out as bin men and worked up and now earn very good salaries with excellent local government pensions. Drivers have HGV licences so are in demand and many do winter gritting as well. I started as a litter warden, did technical qualifications, an MBA part time and became a Chartered Waste Manager. I am proud to be part of a vital industry, worked right through the pandemic and am very happy in my job. It's actually incredibly interesting and has a strong environmental dimension. I am sadly not surprised by some of the attitudes on this thread. In the city where I work, our crews do a compressed four day week and there are plenty of opportunities for advancement. I've met office workers with worse BO than most of the crews I know. If my son or daughter wanted to enter our industry I'd be proud.
Brilliant - and people still say that there isn’t enough opportunity in this country? They’re clearly not working hard enough More things like this should be publicised please do an AMA
mycatisannoying · 02/12/2021 22:15

It's one of those jobs that would be a lot harder than you think.
I wouldn't be fit enough for a start!

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