Why would you not want a heated blanket?

[Swanfairydust]

I live with another person and they have been working from home all day. The heating has been turned up to 23/25 degrees (I can see from the app). I didn’t think it was partially cold today - between 8-10 degrees but I have been told my spare room can get cold.

The thermometer is usually kept in her room but it was in the living room for a few weeks (she was away, didn’t want it kept in her room).

As the radiators were turned down low the temperature didn’t increase in the living room and as a result her bedroom radiator has been on full power all day (there is no tmv).

I have told her to put the thermostat back in her room (third time of asking, so this time it was

outside her room and told h

@Swanfairydust

So why would anyone not want a heated blanket

Because they don't heat the air and if the air is cold then I'm still cold.

Sod living with someone like you! Hopefully she starts looking for somewhere else where she can have privacy rather than someone snooping in her room.

My hearings in a timer, it goes off at 10pm and comes on at 7am but I often turn it off during the day when out. I think if she’s working from home then it’s reasonable to have the thermostat set at 20 (no higher), heating can go off at night, if you have a winter duvet then you don’t need heating on? We don’t have electric blankets and we don’t wear much in bed (kids don’t wear PJ’s), the heating probably on for around 5/6 hours a day. We spent around £80 a month on gas in the winter months.

I see where you're coming from. When it's just me at home, I tend to put a warm jumper and sleeveless puffa on as it feels a bit decadent to heat the whole house just for me. My husband is the opposite, sticks the heating on for 2 hours and points out we are well off and he doesn't want to feel cold. He has just put electronic thermostatic controls on our radiators and installed a Hive system so we can compromise and turn on the radiators in the rooms we're in.

Personally I'd find a way of calculating the "extra" cost of her heating choices and asking her to cover it. That way, you're not subsiding her preference for a warmer house. (It feels quite tropical when our house gets to 18 degrees and I feel the cold). Might be difficult if you don't have energy statements but you could work out a before and after meter reading of an hour of heating. Then work out how many extra hours it uses between your ideal temperature and hers. I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Work out what your heating bill was before her. She pays the extra. Done. If she doesn't like it, she can either turn it down/off, or leave.

Ask her to move out.

It really annoys me when my teenagers have tshirts on and the heating has been on all day. Bit different i know. But it is frustrating.

I cant ask my dc to move out but this would not be something i could tolerate from a lodger.

I'm with you op. I had a 'friend' stay at mine for an extended period & she took the piss too. I was livid. This person has no regard for your concerns & they just want to do what they want. The issue with my 'friend' went the same way & in the end I ended up bringing the arrangement to an abrupt end.

You aren't creepy for having a quick look around the room btw - it's YOUR house & you are entitled to do so,

You cannot enter her bedroom OP, it’s absurd that you think you even can do this or have the right to do this.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/subletting/rights-of-subtenants-who-live-with-their-landlord/

It’s like saying a landlord has the exclusive rights to enter someone’s home as it’s his property

As for the the blanket, it’s your lodgers personal choice to want to use one or not, you cannot force them to, also if the lodger wanted to use the blanket it heats the bed, not the room.

You sound pretty awful as a LL, TBH.

On the energy point, careful you're not obsessing about her as the reason your bill has gone up. I live by myself and I rarely put the heating on (I don't feel the cold) and my bill has rocketed since last year. Not because I've put the heating on (I haven't) or used more energy (I worked from home full-time last year, these days I'm doing hybrid working) but because fuel is just much more expensive right now.

You can talk about putting costs up because costs have gone up generally, but I wouldn't frame it as because she doesn't want to freeze. I doubt she's making as much of an impact as you think, and it's just everything is suddenly crazy expensive.

You aren't creepy for having a quick look around the room btw - it's YOUR house & you are entitled to do so,

No she’s not!

Even a lodger (who should have signed a licence with you) has an assumed right to privacy, legally, as a lodger. So no, you cannot just go walking into her room. If she hasnt signed a licence and is just a guest, then yes, you can wander in whenever you want.

I like my house warm, my old house was toasty at 21C, my new house needs to be 23C. I hate wearing layers but do it because I hate my gas bill more so I would love a heated blanket!

I would suggest taking back control of your thermostat and getting her a fan heater in her room.

@rrhuth

I think you are completely in the wrong going into her room.

But I think you are right that you set the parameters of the heating. Absolutely in other rooms of the house.

Some landlords use a heating lock! That's extreme but a lodger does rather have to accept they only rent their room. With no contract they move on easily. I lodged for a couple of years and would not have expected to put on the heating as I wanted. I would have expected a reasonable temperature.

She needs to either pay more or move out I think.

But she’s literally asked if she can more?!?

*pay more

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

*You aren't creepy for having a quick look around the room btw - it's YOUR house & you are entitled to do so,*

No she’s not!

If the lodger doesn't like it she can look elsewhere then can't she.

If the lodger doesn't like it she can look elsewhere then can't she.

Which presumably OP doesn’t want, since she’s benefitting financially from having her there. Unless she got a lodger just to enjoy the laugh-a-minute that this scenario sounds like.

You keep asking ‘do you have a lodger?’ and in return I’d like to ask you ‘are YOU a lodger?’

Because I am one. With a contract, because lodging isn’t something that shouldn’t be regulated.

My landlady went into my room during 2 of my work trips in summer. You have absolutely no idea how invasive that is. She went to close the window because she doesn’t like open windows. It was over 30 degrees during the day, and I keep extremely delicate work equipment in my room so I needed the window open for the evening breeze and lower temperatures at night, to balance the heat that would be coming in the room for over a week - as I was away and couldn’t ventilate myself. This is a 6th floor high double-ceiling flat, so there is absolutely no danger of someone breaking in because of an open window. Not a safety concern.

The issue with her entering my room was that the second time she thought it appropriate to also move a piece of furniture because she’d rather have it against a different wall. Another time she took my two chairs without even asking because she had guests in her flat. That’s invasive and very impractical when I’m about to give an online presentation and I need a chair!

The issue with her entering my room (which in principle I don’t mind) is that I can’t know if she’s just opening the door to have a look, or is stepping in and snooping through my wardrobe and shelves. I have no idea if she’s going through my paperwork, my personal belongings or the memory boxes of my dead relative ffs.

It’s incredibly invasive and it ruins the relationship. I only eat in my room now because the simple idea of her coming into the kitchen and looking at my dinner is uncomfortable. She thinks every time I’m sat eating lunch or dinner, I also like to go through the recipe I used, or hear comments about how nice it smells. She must be extremely bored if the highlight of her evenings are discussing my dinner or trying to go through my things.

My landlady actually lives somewhere else in the building, so this is not her house per se, but I’m not allowed to open the doors to ‘her’ rooms or anything like that. I’ve asked for privacy and told her in no uncertain terms I would be giving notice and not recommending anyone for the room. Which means she’d have no lodger because she can’t get them off the internet (illegal to advertise lodger arrangements online where we live) and she doesn’t actually know anybody, so I’m the only one who can help find the next person.

Surprise surprise, the intrusions have stopped. So have the nice chats in the hallway but that’s another story.

I’m with you on the heating. It’s ridiculous to have the temperature at 23-25 without being appropriately dressed. That needs solving ASAP. I hate heated blankets but I have no issue putting on an extra layer when it’s cold. It’s not fashion week at home, no need to dress ‘nicely’ - just put on a jumper.

But you need to stop going into her room, or at least tell her you do that every now and then. You have absolutely no idea how invasive and inappropriate it is. No matter whose house it is.

I’m one of those people that would happily have the heating on all day at 23 degrees so I could walk around in a T-shirt, I hate layering up as I find it incredibly uncomfortable and I can not focus at all when I’m cold and find it very hard to get motivated, I also get painful joints and hands when I’m cold! I’d be more than happy to cover the difference in cost for my usage.

she’s only really asking you heat one room more.

I think this is why OP repeatedly mentions the location of the thermostat.

It seems OP is trying to minimise costs by heating only the lodgers room. The way to do that is to keep the thermostat which controls the heating in the lodgers room and turn all the other radiators in the house off.

The lodgers room would heat up to the thermostat setting.

It appears however that the lodger prefers to leave the thermostat elsewhere in the house. The heating will be trying to get the whole house up to the thermostat setting and, since the radiator in the lodger's room does not have a thermostatic value to control, means that so their room gets even hotter than the thermostat setting.

HTH

I'd say the two people are incompatible and not suited to sharing a house.

I don't think you are creepy or controlling OP.

I believe you are trying too hard to get to the bottom of the issue to find a way to make it fair to her (in terms of how much she would have to pay in relation to her actual consumption - which is very difficult to ascertain under this set up )

It seems she is trying it on, being stubborn and not taking any notice (lying about the blanket, insisting on the thermostat being outside her room, not cleaning her room but not contributing to the cleaning bill either, etc)

I would draw a line and tell her she has to pay for 50 or 60% of energy bills (a ball park figure, forget about the detail of whether it's what she's actually spending or not) and the cleaner of find alternative accommodation.

I would ignore some of the comments upthread as MN always tends to side with whom they perceive to be the more disadvantaged even if they are clearly taking the p**s.

I think you can reasonably say the heating will be on to 20 deg if one of you is in but no higher and off overnight from say 11pm.

I would not be appreciative of or use a heated blanket. Definitely put in the fire risk category. (Read up on heated blankets & emollients.) But I do like a hot water bottle.

Some people have different preferences. I've never had one so I'm not sure what I'd think. I get warm in bed quite quickly, but I also have a mattress topper.

If my lodger said he bought something, I'd take into account that there is the possibility of buying online or buying to collect later. We do that all the time. I wouldn't automatically assume they lied because I haven't seen it - especially in a mess.

How do I work out how much extra she should pay? My energy company went bust and the bills are now not available.

I've recently been through similar with the Igloo to EON transfer. It's not quite done yet, but a handy thing that might be possible is when the next company sets up the direct debit, you can discuss how much more it is, if any, and ask to pay that amount above as part of their rent, at least until you can work out numbers.

And it’s my house, so if I want to go into the room, I will. ...She’s a lodger, no locks on doors…Would you agree to someone to live in your house and expect them not to follow your rules?

I've had the same lodger for over a decade now. Before that I had 2 housemates for a couple years who ended up not being a good fit. I always knock or message with them before going into room(s).

We don't really have 'rules' for adults, we have agreements. Yes, my spouse and I have more power in this arrangement as the home owners, but we also have more responsibility. There is a balance of risks and it takes ongoing conversations. Discussing the heating is part of it. If you can't come to an agreement, then it's not a good fit.

People are weird with heating. 28 is utterly ridiculous.

Anyway I also purchased her a heated blanket (I love them) and she said she purchased one yesterday. Well I know that’s not true as she came home from work early and was home all night. I also went into her room today, no blanket

How can you possibly know that she didn't order one online?

I’ve asked for privacy and told her in no uncertain terms I would be giving notice and not recommending anyone for the room. Which means she’d have no lodger because she can’t get them off the internet (illegal to advertise lodger arrangements online where we live) and she doesn’t actually know anybody, so I’m the only one who can help find the next person

Wow, you've gone on a delusional power trip there, haven't you? Ridiculous to believe your landlady can't get recommendations from someone else.

You really need to stop harping on about the electric blanket. She doesn't want to use it. Lots of people don't want to use them.

She's offered to pay extra. Take the extra and move on.

You're really making a mountain out of a molehill here.

@mustlovegin

I’ve asked for privacy and told her in no uncertain terms I would be giving notice and not recommending anyone for the room. Which means she’d have no lodger because she can’t get them off the internet (illegal to advertise lodger arrangements online where we live) and she doesn’t actually know anybody, so I’m the only one who can help find the next person

Wow, you've gone on a delusional power trip there, haven't you? Ridiculous to believe your landlady can't get recommendations from someone else.

Her words, not mine

I only found about this room because I was friends with the previous lodger and that’s how she ‘advertised’ the room.

I’m not making things up or going delusional - simply repeating my landlady’s own words…