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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why would you not want a heated blanket?

304 replies

Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 00:38

I live with another person and they have been working from home all day. The heating has been turned up to 23/25 degrees (I can see from the app). I didn’t think it was partially cold today - between 8-10 degrees but I have been told my spare room can get cold.

The thermometer is usually kept in her room but it was in the living room for a few weeks (she was away, didn’t want it kept in her room).

As the radiators were turned down low the temperature didn’t increase in the living room and as a result her bedroom radiator has been on full power all day (there is no tmv).

I have told her to put the thermostat back in her room (third time of asking, so this time it was

outside her room and told h

OP posts:
Flaxmeadow · 02/12/2021 01:13

Also, did you just take a quick glance around the room, if so, how did you know she hadn't stored the blanket away in a cupboard or wardrobe?

Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:14

Drip feed….

Last winter she said it was cold in her room. I know the radiators are oversized, so I got the TMV removed (now a normal on/off).

I also got her the heated blanket because it’s cheaper to heat the bed instead of the whole house/it’s quicker to get warm at night etc. Plus can use a plug timer etc. Im sure the electric used for that is a lot cheaper than gas for the bedroom all night?

OP posts:
user1471457751 · 02/12/2021 01:15

Wow. Have you told her that you go in to her room and deny her privacy? You sound like a terrible landlord. As she's a lodger you may have the right to go into her room but that doesn't make it OK

Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:16

@Flaxmeadow

Also, did you just take a quick glance around the room, if so, how did you know she hadn't stored the blanket away in a cupboard or wardrobe?
She came home at 6pm, empty handed, she went to bed at 8pm. No chance she purchased one. Plus her wardrobe is the floor…. So based on this info I think it’s fair to say she didn’t. Plus I also suggested it before that I buy her one but she said the electric would be dear (it’s not).
OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:18

@user1471457751

Wow. Have you told her that you go in to her room and deny her privacy? You sound like a terrible landlord. As she's a lodger you may have the right to go into her room but that doesn't make it OK
She knows the score. She’s a lodger, no locks on doors….
OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:21

@SnoopsCaliforniaRoll

OP you say - "Because I wanted to see how hot her room was…. And it’s my house, so if I want to go into the room, I will. I want to prevent a huge bill as well, which is why im the heating nazi."

This is mega creepy by the way. Do you regularly go into their room to check on other things? Is she aware that you do this and have they agreed eg via the tenancy agreement? Confused

It’s my house, I live there. She’s a guest, known as a lodger. No tenancy agreement because they aren’t the law as it’s my house.

Would you agree to someone to live in your house and expect them not to follow your rules?

I don’t want a huge bill at the end of the month.

OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:22

I also told her to put the thermostat in her room for the third time…. Would HoH accept such poor behaviour from your children, not following basic instructions? It’s for her benefit, so her room is heated to the correct temperature.

OP posts:
TheBabyBoo · 02/12/2021 01:23

She wants the heating on a bit more in her space and has offered to pay for it?

I don’t get what the issue is really, unless you have environmental concerns. In which case she’s only really asking you heat one room more. And an heated blanket etc still uses energy to manufacture and run.

The whole heated blanket etc rigamarole seems at best convoluted and at worst controlling.

Just accept her offer of a little more money and stop mithering her with accoutrements. People are usually happiest when allowed to be themselves.

Flaxmeadow · 02/12/2021 01:29

She came home at 6pm, empty handed, she went to bed at 8pm. No chance she purchased one.Plus her wardrobe is the floor…. So based on this info I think it’s fair to say she didn’t

I'm not understanding this. Why doesn't she have a wardrobe?

You said she works during the day. You also said you went in her room during the day and could not see the blanket she claimed she had bought.

It seems to me, you went in her room uninvited, while she was out, to check to see if she really did have a blanket in there. You say no she didn't

Was it a quick look? A glance? Or did you have a root around?

BringOnTheOtherWorlders · 02/12/2021 01:34

I would not want to be your lodger.

Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:36

@BringOnTheOtherWorlders

I would not want to be your lodger.
That’s fine…. Because you aren’t…. So?
OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:38

@Flaxmeadow

She came home at 6pm, empty handed, she went to bed at 8pm. No chance she purchased one.Plus her wardrobe is the floor…. So based on this info I think it’s fair to say she didn’t

I'm not understanding this. Why doesn't she have a wardrobe?

You said she works during the day. You also said you went in her room during the day and could not see the blanket she claimed she had bought.

It seems to me, you went in her room uninvited, while she was out, to check to see if she really did have a blanket in there. You say no she didn't

Was it a quick look? A glance? Or did you have a root around?

She does have a wardrobe. Two big wardrobes. .. she’s just very messy and everything is on the floor. Doesn’t even use bed sheets on her duvet Hmm
OP posts:
KangarooSally · 02/12/2021 01:38

You are super creepy OP. If someone pays for a room it should be their space. You should not be going in there. Just take the extra money she is offering and move on with your life.

KangarooSally · 02/12/2021 01:38

P.S. She is not your child, going in her room and judging how she lives is not on.

Flaxmeadow · 02/12/2021 01:40

She does have a wardrobe. Two big wardrobes. ..

You looked inside them?

Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:41

@TheBabyBoo

She wants the heating on a bit more in her space and has offered to pay for it?

I don’t get what the issue is really, unless you have environmental concerns. In which case she’s only really asking you heat one room more. And an heated blanket etc still uses energy to manufacture and run.

The whole heated blanket etc rigamarole seems at best convoluted and at worst controlling.

Just accept her offer of a little more money and stop mithering her with accoutrements. People are usually happiest when allowed to be themselves.

I came home today and the bathroom radiators were fully open (aka had been On full power for 7 hours). She put the living room radiator on full power and left it like that…. So it’s not just one room. However I think the best thing to do is perhaps show her the bill from last year, compromise on a fair amount. The temperature being 21 degrees, in a corridor that’s not heated, all coming from her closed bedroom door isn’t acceptable. Heating has been of for 3 hours and it’s 2 degrees outside.
OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:42

@Flaxmeadow

She does have a wardrobe. Two big wardrobes. ..

You looked inside them?

Why would I? She came home yesterday empty handed, I saw her… so she’s lying. I wouldn’t go snooping around in her stuff. I went to check the temp of the room. It’s hot so the change of radiator valve was a good idea.
OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:42

So why would anyone not want a heated blanket

OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:43

@KangarooSally

P.S. She is not your child, going in her room and judging how she lives is not on.
Who’s judging how she lives? I’m judging the temperature of a room, where I offer a person accommodation, who last year stated it was cold in their room, I made a modification to the radiator, it’s working fine now.

People can live now they want.

OP posts:
Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:45

@KangarooSally

You are super creepy OP. If someone pays for a room it should be their space. You should not be going in there. Just take the extra money she is offering and move on with your life.
It’s their space. It’s my house. I guess you don’t have someone living with you? Full control of your house?
OP posts:
MsThinksAlot · 02/12/2021 01:53

What would annoy me if I were you, OP, is someone swanning around the house in summer clothing while claiming it's cold and running up heating bill. I didn't take it from a friend of mine when they were staying with me.

Dress warm for the weather. Then if you're still freezing, we know it's actually cold and can turn up the heat. Just common sense. Some people take the piss when they don't pay the bills.

However, as you've said, she's offered to pay part of the heating bill. That should sort the issue out and there's no need doing all those other 'monitoring' activities. Just make sure you work out how much she needs to pay to cover what she uses, so you can relax about the heating.

TheBabyBoo · 02/12/2021 01:55

Just seen your updates.

I would expect someone who was paying to live in my home to have some say in household matters and not just be “my roof, my rules, soz”.

You are benefitting financially from having a lodger and you should treat her with some respect too.

And basically she isn’t your child to be pulled up on “poor behaviour”. You’re confusing a financial/social relationship with a familial one.

You sound are uncomfortable having a lodger at all and you are taking that discomfort out on her.

And heated blankets can be sweaty and uncomfortable. A heated blanket might also not met her needs- she might also want to be warm in the room while she does things in there, not just while she is in the bed. And you can have a heated blanket on and your body is warm but still get cold ears/nose etc and get earache.

But it also might just be careful hat you are very controlling and you are making her uncomfortable.

Original poster
Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 01:59

@MsThinksAlot

What would annoy me if I were you, OP, is someone swanning around the house in summer clothing while claiming it's cold and running up heating bill. I didn't take it from a friend of mine when they were staying with me.

Dress warm for the weather. Then if you're still freezing, we know it's actually cold and can turn up the heat. Just common sense. Some people take the piss when they don't pay the bills.

However, as you've said, she's offered to pay part of the heating bill. That should sort the issue out and there's no need doing all those other 'monitoring' activities. Just make sure you work out how much she needs to pay to cover what she uses, so you can relax about the heating.

Thanks. I think that’s what people forget, it’s my back pocket.

How do I work out how much extra she should pay? My energy company went bust and the bills are now not available.

Also what would be acceptable for heating. She doesn’t cook, does watch tv in the lounge. We also have a dyson fan heater for in there which heats the room very well.

Where do I draw the line? I think it will help the thermostat being in her room.

I also have an issue with the heating being turn up high in communal areas and her not using it. I’ve got oversized boilers to heat rooms quickly and some have had their TRVs removed due to not heating correctly (eg behind sofa).

Is that also ok to tell her how I want the heating to be?

OP posts:
Callixte · 02/12/2021 02:00

Could she have meant she ordered a blanket online and it hasn't been delivered yet? It's odd that she'd lie about it - seems easier just to take your blanket and not use it if she doesn't want to.

If she's offering to pay more, I'd accept. Suggest £10 if that seems fair and it's definitely OK to suggest she pay more if she's regularly WFH at some point and you're not. If you're afraid of a sudden high bill, maybe discuss with her what the usual bill is (based on last Dec/Jan/etc. if you're happy with that, adjusted for any rate change) and have her agree to pay anything in excess of x amount?

I'd be comfortable with 23 when WFH (I grew up in a warm climate) but not much higher and even then I'd be in warm weather clothes. My ideal is around 20. But people have different ideas of what's "normal temperature" - DH likes 15/16 (which was as high as was ever allowed in his parents' house apparently).

I wouldn't want a heated blanket while I'm working (overnight is fine, but it did take me time to get used to it - I kept falling asleep with it set too high and waking up sweating) but love a space heater - toasty warm without bothering anyone else around the house.

KylieKoKo · 02/12/2021 02:01

It’s my house. I guess you don’t have someone living with you? Full control of your house?*

When you have a lodger you exchange "full control" for money. If you want full control then do without the extra cash.

*why would anyone not want a heated blanket"

I would hate a heated blanket I would find it claustrophobic and hate direct heat on my skin.