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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why would you not want a heated blanket?

304 replies

Swanfairydust · 02/12/2021 00:38

I live with another person and they have been working from home all day. The heating has been turned up to 23/25 degrees (I can see from the app). I didn’t think it was partially cold today - between 8-10 degrees but I have been told my spare room can get cold.

The thermometer is usually kept in her room but it was in the living room for a few weeks (she was away, didn’t want it kept in her room).

As the radiators were turned down low the temperature didn’t increase in the living room and as a result her bedroom radiator has been on full power all day (there is no tmv).

I have told her to put the thermostat back in her room (third time of asking, so this time it was

outside her room and told h

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 02/12/2021 06:50

I wouldn't want a heated blanket as I find too much heat directly on me like that gives me an awful headache.

I keep the house at around 18-19 degrees year-round though which according to many people on MN is akin to living in the arctic Wink

But your behaviour is just creepy. Yes, I know lodgers don't really have any legal rights but it's common courtesy not to go snooping through their rooms while they're out, surely!

RedHot22 · 02/12/2021 06:52

I hate a hot house and think we should all be preserving energy and putting on another layer. We never have the heating on at night, it goes off at 7pm.

However, you have a lodger who pays rent and that allows them to have their room at a temperature to suit them. Have you considered a plug-in heater in their room?

If not, this is a friend/lodger and not your child. You don’t have to live together so perhaps consider getting another lodger making them aware that you don’t like a hot house. I suspect this new lodger will irritate you in other ways though, cooking smells, not cleaning up the kitchen etc. So perhaps be grateful for what you have?

PlanktonsComputerWife · 02/12/2021 06:55

We don't have central heating or a lodger, but whoever is in whatever room should be allowed to hear it to the level they need. It's lonely and constricting for her if she feels she has to go home and go the bed. Poor thing. And don't go in her room without permission- you're rely out of order there too, as others have said.

That said, heating a bathroom at all let alone all day strikes me as wasteful , but I'm a bit of an ecoloon admittedly. You should get a bit firm about asking her to switch off heating when she leaves a room / the house.

whyohwhyohwhyohwhywhy · 02/12/2021 06:55

I've never heard of removing a TRV to make a house warmer. The whole point is they make the temperature adjustable isn't it? They don't make the rads cooler, do they?

I had a lodger once who likes it hotter than me in the winter and cooler in the summer. She ran a fan all summer. I hated it. I just gritted my teeth though because that was part of the deal. So I do sympathise but you do have to get over it, I'm afraid.

SomepeopleareTERFSgetoverit · 02/12/2021 06:57

Have you any previous meter readings showing how much gas/electric you used for these months last year? If so start a spreadsheet to track how much extra is being used thanks to her preferences. Find out how much you’re paying per unit now and do the maths. Show her and state that this is what she will have to pay if she wants to sit in a t-shirt with the thermostat up.

I think it will be a lot more than a tenner.

Luredbyapomegranate · 02/12/2021 06:58

This is all a bit bizarre. How old are you two?

It’s not Ok to go into your lodger’s room without permission. Neither is it ok for her to wack the heating up to tropical. Stop creeping around each other and just have a conversation about it. It’s reasonable for her to want the house to be warm, but not hot. 22 degrees probably. She can wear a jumper. Heated blankets are a personal thing - I’d hate one.

It’s your house, so sit down and talk to her, agree a reasonable compromise eg 22 degrees when you are in. Tell her you need her to stop messing with the controls. Obviously if she wants to pay for more heat and you don’t mind the heat then fine.

speakout · 02/12/2021 06:59

I'm a bit on the fence wit this one. I live with my mother- she feels the cold terribly, so the heating is set to 23 degrees.
Too hot for me as I go to the gym most days and come back very warm, I also work from home, but it isn't a job sitting still, I have to move around a fair bit.
My mother refuses to use the heated blanket I use her, and although fat from an invalid she spends most of her time sitting knitting, watching Tv or talking on the phone to friends.
She wears thin nylon blouses, skirts and nylon type tights with no socks or slippers. I have bought her thermal underwear, warm cardigans, fleeces, socks, slippers, but to no avail, I have found tem stuffed into bags for charity collection- she says she doesn't like thick clothes..She starts complaining about the cold if the temperature drops below 23 or so.
My bills cost £180 a month.

cloudtree · 02/12/2021 07:07

I was also wondering about the removal of the trvs. That makes it more difficult to adjust the temperature. You shouldn’t keep opening and closing radiator valves. It will cause them to fail sooner.

MiddleParking · 02/12/2021 07:12

I think everyone here sounds barking. Heating the whole place to 23 degrees for hours at a time is insane behaviour, I wouldn’t be able to breathe. But I wouldn’t be able to breathe with my landlord going in my room either and that’s a lot worse. If you want full jurisdiction over your house pay for it yourself.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 07:18

  1. if you rent a room to someone you do not go in there without permission unless there's an emergency eg a pipe leaking water etc.

  2. you sound like you are both a bit ott but you especially so. Unfortunately in the UK most people are used to having central heating and are uncomfortable with homes at low temperatures. Yes, it costs money, but she has offered to contribute more to the bill, let her.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 07:19

Also her room won't be that warm. She is probably desperately trying to get it to stay at 21 or so and will be constantly battling because your refusal to heat the rest of the house will mean heat is leeching away from her room.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 02/12/2021 07:19

Well, I'd think it reasonable to ask her not to keep the heating on in rooms she isn't in, and as she's kindly offered more money I'd accept that. But the rest of this thread - particularly your repeated proud mention of removing valves and unwillingness to clarify whether this person is a paying lodger, your granny, your daughter etc, in the context of going into their bedroom and thrusting blankets on them - is doing nothing other than painting you as a controlling loon OP.

EdenFlower · 02/12/2021 07:22

FFS! Nobody should be expected to work under a heated blanket!

spotcheck · 02/12/2021 07:24

Bloody hell OP

Put the heating on a schedule

Buy her an oil filled heater. If she uses it tons, she can buy extra oil

It's perfectly possible she ordered a blanket on Amazon

Stop going in her room. Everyone has said it's not on and you still make excuses. Cut it out

TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 02/12/2021 07:24

It’s their space. It’s my house. I guess you don’t have someone living with you? Full control of your house?

OP when someone lodges with you it's not normal to just walk into their room when you feel like it. If I were her I'd be looking for somewhere with a lock on the bedroom door.

Platax · 02/12/2021 07:28

If she leaves the thermostat outside her room, wouldn't it be simplest to reset it so that it doesn't come on till the temperature in the corridor goes down to, say, 16 degrees?

RedHot22 · 02/12/2021 07:28

I don’t even enter my adult children’s bedrooms!

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 07:29

All this stuff about removing valves is completely bonkers, and smacks of someone desperately seeking control - you don't like thermostatic valves because they will come on when the rad isn't warm enough and you want to be able to turn everything OFF and it stay off, most of the time.

Everything you say smacks of someone who can't stand paying money for heating. "The radiators are oversized". Really?! If they were your house would have a terrible energy rating.

People like you make me really wish lodgers had more rights.

Instead of getting an electric blanket, which many people dislike and aren't practical when working, perhaps you can offer her a fan/space heater/oil radiator? However you need to give her control over when she uses it.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 07:31

Ps it's your house but she is paying you money. If you don't want to give an adult privacy, don't accept money and have a lodger in your home, and pay for the whole home yourself with your own money

MamanSparkles · 02/12/2021 07:36

It's all very well saying you heat your house to 21 but you also say the heating doesn't come on until 7pm - it takes time to heat up, and by the time it's heated it will go off again.
She has offered to pay more for bills.
Accept it and stop being so controlling.

IARTNS · 02/12/2021 07:37

I WFH, I have a small oil filled radiator which I use as I don't want to heat the whole house when I'm mainly in one room during those hours.

Caspianberg · 02/12/2021 07:44

Very unreasonable to go in her personal space without here.
We run a B and B, it’s our home, but I would never go in a room when someone is staying without their permission unless there was an actual emergency.
If there’s a problem like plumbing or heating but non emergency I would always tell them and ask if it’s ok, otherwise wait until they have left stay. ( usually heating would mean they def want a technician in as they would be cold as well)

Heating is an expense you cover more for guests. I like main rooms around 21 degrees, but if a guest is paying, they can turn own space up or down to their preference

Bonnealle · 02/12/2021 07:47

Is she a guest (doesn’t pay any money to you), or a lodger (pays you money)? If the latter you have no right to go into her room, I have no idea why you think this is ok?
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/subletting/rights-of-subtenants-who-live-with-their-landlord/

Bonnealle · 02/12/2021 07:49

As in I am sure you will have an excluded tenancy if your lodger does not want you to go into her room.

daisypond · 02/12/2021 07:49

The temperature your house is set to is reasonable. Our heating is on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening - set to around 20 degrees. We both work from home. If you don’t want heating on, you need to change how your lodger is billed. With someone I know, the lodger pays the gas bill.