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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed by my friends comment tonight...

311 replies

Tomato345 · 30/11/2021 23:10

My best friend of 11 years and I occasionally have our disagreements but I love her like a sister, however a comment she made tonight has really pissed me off and has made her look like a snob imo.

We were with our kids, talking about different careers as we've both recently changed jobs, when her eldest son announced that he wanted to be a bin man when he's older. Friend turned to him and said "aim a little higher please" and started laughing. I made a comment about how bin men earn a pretty decent wage (in our area at least) and that the perks of working for the council, such as weekends off/decent pension etc are good. She was adamant that it's a shit job and that the only reason someone would do it is if they didn't have any qualifications. It certainly came across that she would be embarrassed if her son ever becomes one.

Her reaction was the same last year when her partner showed an interest in becoming a HGV driver, so it's not the first time this has happened. I'm not sure why it's got my back up, maybe because I use to be a delivery driver and now I work for a cleaning company, so I'm wondering what she thinks of me as I would say those types of jobs are linked. We both only want the best for our kids at the end of the day, but what's wrong with it if it makes someone happy and provides them a living? Perhaps I could understand her point if she was earning mega bucks herself, but she earns minimum wage, which is actually less than what a bin man earns...

A job is a job in my eyes, but I'm not sure if I'm being sensitive or not. After all, we're all allowed to have an opinion... so AIBU?

OP posts:
RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 06:42

No clever truck grabbing bins here Confused

Of course we all want our children to be happy! They should aim high though, it gives you more options in life, then if they decide they’d be happier as a bin man then fine.

LynetteScavo · 01/12/2021 06:42

Bin men should be paid a reasonable wage! Because it's a job most adults don't want to do, yet is essential.

Does anyone look at their new born baby and hope one day they become a bin man? I doubt it. I wanted my tiny first born to one day become an astronaut or find a cure for cancer.

I'm guessing most bin men didn't achieve their maths abs English GCSEs, and therefore are not likely to find the cure for cancer, but are doing an honest days work, and should receive decent pay for that. It takes all sorts of people to keep society ticking over smoothly. But personally I would prefer my DC to have a white collar job. Maybe because it's what I want for myself. And I think all 8 year olds either want to be a police officer, fire officer, train driver, lorry driver or bin man. I'm yet to meet an 8 year old who wants to be an hedge fund manager.

HoppingPavlova · 01/12/2021 06:43

Besides, being a bin man is not a physical job since the invention of wheelie bins. The man presses a button and arms reach out the lift the bin, and put it down. They don't do anything but drive and push buttons. It's a considerably easy job. Even when they get back to depot/dump site everything is done and sorted by machines, no manual labour needed.

We must have a different system, as while that is true for the wheelie bins, where we are you are entitled to book a number of bulk refuse pick ups per year. They are done by the same people who do the wheelie bins but around that work. They send two of them and they have to throw bulk waste up into the truck - things like old ovens, large tv’s, broken washing machines, old lounges etc. Very different to their usual cruisy wheelie bin run!

RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 06:44

There are miserable bin men and happy hedge fund managers too.

Oblomov21 · 01/12/2021 06:45

This has nothing to do with being happy as I keep referring to.

The job is incredibly physically demanding and dirty and smelly, working in the cold, dark, wet, snow. At unsociable hours, with hazardous waste.

No one is saying it's a bad job. But when you think about it, it's an incredibly hard job for all the reasons listed above, and many others listed on the thread.

And hardly aspirational.

BlueFlavour · 01/12/2021 06:45

True @RedHot22
Bin men more useful though

BlueFlavour · 01/12/2021 06:46

What’s wrong with not being aspirational? And what does that mean exactly?

RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 06:49

This thread reminds me of Micky Flanagan ‘white van’ 😂

ClaudiaJ1 · 01/12/2021 06:49

[quote LivingNextDoorToNorma]@ClaudiaJ1 The video isn’t actually from my town, but this is how it works here. The bin men get out of the cabin follow the truck down the road. They sort of ‘boost’ each bin onto a contraption at the back, and that tips the bin’s contents into the truck. Then they drag the bins bag. With recycling collection, they manually empty the glass and paper caddies, and then the wheelie bin of tins and plastics is the same as the video (although that will vary a lot. Recycling is different in each council area.). So while it’s not as physically demanding as it used to be, it’s certainly not zero manual labour.

[/quote] @LivingNextDoorToNorma :O That's so backward. :( Does your council not have money for actual bin truck technology? Are they unable to afford or produce automated mechanical technology? Someone should do something about that. The reason why the wheelie bin exists is because the attached lid is made so it opens easily when mechanically lifted and shaken. That's the entire point of the bin. It works with the mechanical lift. Your council may as well go back to steel bins with removable lids. It's so primitive and backward.
RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 06:50

@BlueFlavour

True *@RedHot22* Bin men more useful though
….. and poorer
RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 06:51

God this thread is depressing

BlueFlavour · 01/12/2021 06:51

So having money is a prerequisite for happiness?

Oblomov21 · 01/12/2021 06:52

BlueFavour and Unsure1983 are talking about a totally different issue. At odds with what OP originally claimed.

No one is disputing that we want our kids to be happy in their jobs.

No one is disputing that bin collector is a honest and needed job, that isn't given as much credit as deserved.

That wasn't the point OP was originally making.

Oblomov21 · 01/12/2021 06:53

"So having money is a prerequisite for happiness?"

Are you deliberately being obtuse or deliberately trying to twist what people are saying?

Did anyone say that? No. But a reasonable level of money gives security. Happiness is a complex issue.

Oblomov21 · 01/12/2021 06:54

Hutton was too aspirational Micky Grin
I too love that clip.

Howshouldibehave · 01/12/2021 07:02

[quote Tomato345]@MrsSkylerWhite admittedly it's not the best job for someone in their 60's as it's physically demanding but in general, I don't know what's wrong with it if the person is happy and earns enough to keep a roof over their head and food on the table.

It is definitely a job that is looked down upon by people, but funnily enough the world would crumble without bin collectors. Same with care workers, shop workers etc [/quote]
I wouldn’t want my child to aspire to be any of those jobs because of the poor pay. If that was their job, they wouldn’t earn enough to be able to buy a house here. They probably wouldn’t earn enough to rent a house without being reliant on benefits-that’s not a life I would wish for them.

Ajl46 · 01/12/2021 07:04

@chaosmaker

I never understand what office workers do tbh would bore me to death. Rubbish collecters are essential workers. This country has weird snobbery around what is essential and what isn't. Especially given that education is devalued since they've made the grading system look like everyone is cleverer when I think that overall we aren't. Things like phones remembering numbers and devices to make you remember things in general along with a much shorter attention span and small children having a lack of strength in their hands etc. At least emptying bins is a needed job unlike cold callers ....
How do you know "office work" would bore you to death if you have no idea what office workers do?! Office work covers a huge range of careers - they can't all bore you, surely?!
HelloDulling · 01/12/2021 07:07

To you, a job is a job, and you’ll be happy for your kids to do a job that makes them happy. She has aspirations beyond that, and wants her kids to have careers. Neither of you are wrong.

cherrytree63 · 01/12/2021 07:07

Well my son is a bin man and I'm incredibly proud of him. He took whatever work he could get when he left school, started out working for a scrap firm!
Then he registered with an agency and started as a bin man, "lumping and loading" until he was offered a permant job, got his HGV license and is now a driver for the green waste.
His hours mean he has time for his daughter and a life outside work.
My daughter is a PA for the CEO of a large national firm, but has worked as a cleaner, shop worker and in a call centre.
Childhood events could have sent them off the rails, but they have amazing work ethics and I'm incredibly proud of them both.
Childhood ambitions were to be a F1 driver and a musician.
Mine was to be a ballerina and a nun Grin

RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 07:09

I never understand what office workers do tbh would bore me to death

Just so you’re aware, they do different things. Too many things to mention here and many of them enjoy what they do and are happy. There are many, many interesting office jobs.

Sweetener12 · 01/12/2021 07:10

we all need bin men, but it's not exactly an aspirational career.
This. I see nothing wrong in wanting to aim higher or encouraging your child to aim higher. After all, the choice is his and she can be sulky about it all she wants if he follows this career path but what she said wasn't even remotely inappropriate imo.

dworky · 01/12/2021 07:14

@GreenLunchBox

She could have been more sensitive but I too would try to get my kid to aim higher, so for that I think YABU
So whose children should do the dirty work every one of us rely on, then?
RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 07:17

So whose children should do the dirty work every one of us rely on, then?

I’m happy for anyone’s child to do that, including mine if they choose to. As I keep banging on about, aiming and achieving higher gives you more choice!

WayneKorr · 01/12/2021 07:18

Her reaction would rankle me too. It's a good honest job. There are many, many jobs I wouldn't want my children to do but being a refuse collector isn't one of them

RedHot22 · 01/12/2021 07:18

@WayneKorr

Her reaction would rankle me too. It's a good honest job. There are many, many jobs I wouldn't want my children to do but being a refuse collector isn't one of them
So you would have made the same comment about another job then?
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