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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious he mentioned this in public?!

134 replies

Neverfightamanwithaperm · 28/11/2021 20:18

Manager at work came and told me he wanted to discuss my absence record next week with me whilst we were standing in a small room full of other employees?! AIBU to be a bit like WTF? There are numerous other rooms off this one that he could have taken me into...

OP posts:
Leafyhouse · 28/11/2021 20:51

Do you think perhaps that every co-worker in that room had been complaining about you and your repeated absences, and your boss wanted to make the point that you were going to be pulled up about it?

IcelandicCabin · 28/11/2021 20:56

zero bugs?! Lord my entire family have had the super cold that is going around (negative PCRs). I came down with it first on october 14 (I recall the date, because I had to cancel something important) and DS 2 is going back to school tomorrow for the first time!

That's 6- 7 weeks of bugs.

PicturesOfLily · 28/11/2021 20:57

Just another voice to say there are so many bugs at the moment! Dd(4) is currently sitting on DH’s knee downstairs as she’s ill yet again and can’t sleep. I think we’ve had one week without a bug since September! It’s definitely unprofessional of your manager op.

LoveGoldberg · 28/11/2021 20:58

Depends, are covid absences due to not being vaccinated?
I’ve had covid and been vaccinated. Pretty sure I had it beforehand too as I had the exact same illness before testing was a thing.

That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc.
Whereas in the school I work out we started a joke tally chart of teachers that had students throw up unexpectedly in their classroom because it seemed to happen to the majority of us within the space of 3 days.

In my opinion all discussions about your employment should be done officially and privately, I would expect it to be arranged through an email or to be called into the office to discuss rather than it being so casual where it potentially starts office gossip.

user1471457751 · 28/11/2021 21:00

You shouldn't be taking sick leave for the days your child is sick.

LoveGoldberg · 28/11/2021 21:00

Do you think perhaps that every co-worker in that room had been complaining about you and your repeated absences, and your boss wanted to make the point that you were going to be pulled up about it?

Irrelevant. They aren’t entitled to all of the information about other employees so any comments they make should be shut down by management and employees reminded that they are in a professional environment not a gossipy school yard.

subtlesue · 28/11/2021 21:01

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid
Did you know you can be ill from something non infectious?
BrilloSolar · 28/11/2021 21:06

@workshy44 WHAT?! Where are you as I want to move there immediately? I've genuinely been wondering whether it's even worth DC being in nursery so that I can work from home, as he is ill (and then so are we all) every other week - ill enough to need time off nursery and put us all into 'just-make-it-through' mode, rather than anything productive getting done.

ReceptionTA · 28/11/2021 21:10

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid
Grin This is so funny

There at sooo many bugs going round children at the moment, I can only assume it's the same with adults! Grin

As well as Covid, I've had a sinus infection, cystitis and the same time as a heavy cold, and an operation since September. Luckily where I work people aren't ridiculous, and see I'm struggling though and haven't bothered with the usual "you've been off three separate times in six months meeting nonsense"

LynetteScavo · 28/11/2021 21:13

It was unprofessional, but I would be peeved rather than furious.

Babyroobs · 28/11/2021 21:13

I don't see it as a huge problem. If you've been off a few times surely colleagues already know?

bloodywhitecat · 28/11/2021 21:17

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid
Well done you! DH has had a lot of time off. For chemo/scans/blood tests/phone calls. Illnesses other than bugs and covid are available.
Leafyhouse · 28/11/2021 21:17

@LoveGoldberg

Do you think perhaps that every co-worker in that room had been complaining about you and your repeated absences, and your boss wanted to make the point that you were going to be pulled up about it?

Irrelevant. They aren’t entitled to all of the information about other employees so any comments they make should be shut down by management and employees reminded that they are in a professional environment not a gossipy school yard.

I'm not condoning the boss's behaviour. I'm saying watch your back.
pompomsgalore · 28/11/2021 21:19

@workshy44 hahahaha zero bugs hahahahahahahahaha

LadyCleathStuart · 28/11/2021 21:20

there are literally zero bugs around

Funniest thing I've read for a while!

Bumblefuzz · 28/11/2021 21:21

Completely inappropriate and a breach of confidentiality. This should either be raised with them directly, their Manager or HR. Whilst they may not have said anything specifically in relation to your absences, it is not their place to raise publicly.

Incidentally, emergency time off for dependents is a statutory right and should not be lumped together with your own sickness.

C8H10N4O2 · 28/11/2021 21:32

@Bluntness100

To be honest I imagine if your absence record is bad enough they need to talk to you about it’s your colleagues will already know. They will have spotted you’re not there.
Oh dear, who spilt that 2cc of mouse blood?
CouldItBeCake · 28/11/2021 21:33

Also here to laugh at “zero bugs”. Step aside, Chris Whitty, @workshy44 is gunning for your job.

missbunnyrabbit · 28/11/2021 21:35

This reminds me of something the other day. Horrible member of staff waltzed into my room and announced in front of all my TAs [I have a few] that I'd been teaching the wrong units and we need to go over it together.
Turns out he misread something and I was fine, but I was SO pissed he said it infront of my colleagues. Made me feel really silly.

Blueroses99 · 28/11/2021 21:36

Unprofessional to mention in front of your colleagues, yes, but you shouldn’t have sick days for your child’s sickness - this should be categorised differently.

Charley50 · 28/11/2021 21:40

@LynetteScavo

It was unprofessional, but I would be peeved rather than furious.
Me too
FreakinFrankNFurter · 28/11/2021 21:42

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid
Zero bugs? Errrm, round here there's loads of things going round.

we've been passing different bugs around this house for the last 6 weeks and only one of us has had covid.
I've had three days off sick a couple of weeks ago with a non covid bug and I'm never off sick.
I then started with a bad cold last week that turned into a bad cough and I've only left the house for 90 mins this weekend as I've felt like crap.

So you are utterly wrong that there are only covid going round. Why on earth would you think that

Faevern · 28/11/2021 21:46

@Blueroses99

Unprofessional to mention in front of your colleagues, yes, but you shouldn’t have sick days for your child’s sickness - this should be categorised differently.
Totally agree on both counts.

I was stunned the first time I heard a colleague say she had taken sick days because her DD was sick.

The Bradford scale is daft, you can hit a trigger for less days sick than someone whose actually had more days off.

Crinkle77 · 28/11/2021 21:52

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid
Don't be ridiculous. The OP may have had health problems not caused by a virus.
billy1966 · 28/11/2021 21:56

Zero bugs.

Christ what planet are you on.

The surgeries are packed with sick people, my pal has never ever seen so many sick people in her 25 years as a GP.

It's taking 2 weeks to get an appointment.

The primary schools have so many bugs.
Bronchial problems are particularly bad.

Zero bugs🙄

Very rude of your boss not to show you the courtesy of NOT discussing your business in public OP.

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