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To be furious he mentioned this in public?!
134

Neverfightamanwithaperm · 28/11/2021 20:18

Manager at work came and told me he wanted to discuss my absence record next week with me whilst we were standing in a small room full of other employees?! AIBU to be a bit like WTF? There are numerous other rooms off this one that he could have taken me into...

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

FootieMama · 29/11/2021 18:49

I feel for you. I've had managers like this. Make a stand now or it will only get worse. Tell him that is unprofessional and bulysh behaviour to call you out in front of colleagues like this.

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SaraKatie · 29/11/2021 18:50

Congratulations that you were genetically blessed with a good immune system so far in your life. 🙄

And I genuinely lolled at the comment that there are no bugs going around. If only I had that information a few weeks ago when we were all struck down by norovirus. I’d have stopped mid uncontrollable vomit and been fine.

OP it’s unprofessional and something your boss should have said in private or in an email.

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tickingthebox73 · 29/11/2021 18:53

@Bluntness100

To be honest I imagine if your absence record is bad enough they need to talk to you about it’s your colleagues will already know. They will have spotted you’re not there.

I once had someone whose sick record was so bad people thought she was part-time....

I was asked why I was replacing her with a full timer....

I think my face said it all....
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Overtired201984 · 29/11/2021 19:02

[quote Neverfightamanwithaperm]@workshy44 Zero "bugs"? You clearly don't have a toddler in nursery![/quote]
This is so true , I have a toddler at nursery and i literally haven’t stopped being unwell since he started!

And yes very unprofessional of him to do that to you , some people have no management skills.

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hodgeypodgey · 29/11/2021 19:13

Yanbu they absolutely shouldn’t have said that in front of others. It’s bad practice. Doesn’t matter that colleagues may have noticed when you have been absent as you could have been off for any other reason, bereavement, parental leave, annual leave. They haven’t by the sound of it given any personal details at least. It’s done now unfortunately though. I would be telling them that next time they need to discuss something with you they should ask if they can have a word and speak to you in another room.

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EightWheelGirl · 29/11/2021 19:20

Sounds like he had to grab the opportunity to speak to you whilst you weren’t absent. 🤣

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Mantlemoose · 29/11/2021 19:24

Very unprofessional however 4 days in 12 months? Must be more to it than that?

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JennyForeigner · 29/11/2021 19:38

Not only unprofessional, that kind of conduct can be discrimination. What if you had a disability and a related sickness absence pattern? He'll get himself into hot water if that's how he manages.

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JennyForeigner · 29/11/2021 19:42

@Mantlemoose

Very unprofessional however 4 days in 12 months? Must be more to it than that?

Not necessarily, some workplaces would run a calculation on number of separate absences, so a fifth brief spell of absence would trigger a process, but three longer spells wouldn't.

It wouldn't be great practice but it wouldn't be terrible either - this manager's approach is however pretty poor stuff.
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Whenigrowupiwanttobea · 29/11/2021 19:53

I would have said "Can you say that a bit louder I don't think they heard you in the car park!"

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Mummabear89 · 29/11/2021 20:13

I think it largely depends on your employers absence policy. We get 3 days sick then the 4th we get a verbal warning and with each sickness it progresses up the scale of disaplinaries. Although they are looking at redoing the absence policy at the moment

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BeaMends · 29/11/2021 20:53

@Neverfightamanwithaperm

Manager at work came and told me he wanted to discuss my absence record next week with me whilst we were standing in a small room full of other employees?! AIBU to be a bit like WTF? There are numerous other rooms off this one that he could have taken me into...

Very unprofessional of him. Particularly since the reasons for your absences should remain confidential between you and your employer, unless you choose to divulge the information to your colleagues.
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whywouldntyou · 29/11/2021 21:00

Days sick aren't just from bugs, most of my days off are back related or other health issues they are aware of! Ridiculous comment!

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Madamum18 · 29/11/2021 21:03

Not appropriate

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WomanStanleyWoman · 29/11/2021 21:46

[quote Extragherkinsplease]@IntermittentParps

I can’t imagine no one saying anything…
As per my first comment, if it’s a small business and it’s obvious that you’ve been unusually away from your desk for a while it’s likely someone would be aware and ask a simple ‘everything ok?’.

Even if you don’t offer up the information I honestly can’t imagine working somewhere where people didn’t even check in quickly in this situation?[/quote]
But whether or not people would ask isn’t really relevant to the OP’s question. The point is, a manager should absolutely not be raising confidential issues in the middle of the office on the basis that ‘People would probably ask anyway’. It’s nonsensical.

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carsonsmummy14 · 29/11/2021 22:15

"Depends, are covid absences due to not being vaccinated?" @helpstopthepain

Not entirely sure what your point is there with that gem of a comeback Confused

My mum has had covid 3 times in the last 18+ months and she has been jabbed 3 times. Her first was before most as she works in a nursing home.

What a strange comment to make, as if she deserves a speaking to about getting covid if she was unvaxxed. The mind boggles, truly does!

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Bertiebiscuit · 29/11/2021 23:01

I would report him to H R, he's a cr*p manager, and this is a flagrant breach of your confidentiality

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Glitterblue · 29/11/2021 23:05

That's awful, very unprofessional.

@workshy44 there are plenty bugs going about - there's been a sickness bug going round school and nasty fluey things that aren't covid. I get migraines once a month that knock me out for a day.

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Darlingx · 30/11/2021 08:42

YDBear

Hang on, it's only Monday. And he wants to discuss it next week? He can't find five minutes today? What a crock! He's obviously trying to embarrass you and make you sweat about your job for a week, while he ODs on his self-importance. There's nothing about either his request or the issue itself that can't be addressed through e-mail. Who is your boss's boss? Email them a complaint about this tosser for unprofessional conduct.

In a nutshell this is the best piece of advice on this thread and what you needed to hear. Yes your manager is a complete tosser for behaving in that way and anything regarding sickness is confidential and not to be made fodder for the gossip buffet .
I did laugh the person that was saying they eat food off the floor, avoid sanitising their hands , washing vegetables and drinking plenty of booze etc as a way of boosting their immune system. I think stress affects the immune system the most personally. So if you can find a way of handling yourself well in shitty situations by getting support from friends or forums who will back you up by stating the obvious BS you have to endure sometimes. My partners manager on hearing he won lots of awards in his hobby that he does out of work felt he needed to remind him that he can’t work on things out of his work hours. That’s right we own your ass outside of work as well ?? He doesn’t make money from doing a hobby outside of work and talk about being the thief of joy. Some people really want you enslaved to the workplace giving them every last drop of your essence of being ! Anyway needless to say my partner has taken a new job with a slightly lower pay but a less toxic atmosphere.
They were playing similar games to your manager and it’s all to make you feel small and let you know your place and as we commented he now has a manager who rolls his sleeves up and mucks in which is to be greatly respected when things are under pressure.
My partner had a tracker from Covid regs that tracked where he was in the building even on toilet breaks they kept it going even after all vaccinated the cfs

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ThatsNiiice · 30/11/2021 09:59

Crikey this thread is an eye opener. I've got an employee who's taken over 20 days sick in the last 4 months for various different complaints. I'm mid level management and have tried to escalate it but my director is sweet on the employee in question so wont deal with it. So frustrating

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DirtyDancing · 30/11/2021 10:01

It shouldn't have been mentioned in 'public'

4 days is classed as 4 periods of sick if they are separate days. A lot of companies give a warning at 3 periods of sick.

It's always stuck me as unfair it's 'periods'.. you can have 4 separate days off.. 4 periods =warning. 2 full weeks off. 2 periods = no warning!

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Angrywife · 30/11/2021 11:36

@workshy44

He should of discussed it in private but “only” 4 days apart from COVID ?? That’s a lot as there are literally zero bugs around apart from it added to all the hand washing etc. I haven’t had a sickness day since covid

Bully for you.
My middle son was laid low for 4 days with a vomiting bug just 3 weeks ago.
Other bugs are definitely still around
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FootieMama · 30/11/2021 11:43

YDBear, I agree with you. It's important for people to remember they aren't their job and that they are not a commodity. Your life is much bigger than your job.

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Darlingx · 30/11/2021 12:34

ThatsNiiice

This happened with someone but because one never knows why they are off sick . My partner is never off sick and I wouldn’t say it makes much difference you are either kissing the right arse or not 😂
Some people are just shameless and it ruins it for those who genuinely are suffering but this would be a private matter. When my mother had cancer she didn’t want anyone to know that was how she felt at the time when she was battling it and I respect where she was coming from because when they did find they resigned her to the scrap heap frankly and she got on well with her manager.
The problem is everyone always watches their own back

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starlight13 · 30/11/2021 14:15

I imagine it would have been your colleagues who would have raised this issue with your manager and she is speaking to you in front of them to show them that she is 'dealing' with it.
If you need to have this talk, then your absence must be pretty poor.

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