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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Half mast trousers kid

128 replies

Gerlais · 28/11/2021 14:00

In my sons class at school is a boy who has always worn very half mast trousers. He’s 9 now and is known by the other kids (and some of the parents) as the half mast kid. When the kids went back to school in September he was sent in with new school trousers which were so short they were above his ankle socks (and they’re loose fitting too so not trendy half mast). Obviously I’ve told DS not to mention it but he has asked why the lad wears such short trousers (to which I’ve said it’s none of our business).
A few weeks ago DSs friend was talking about his birthday party and someone asked if this lad was going to which the kids burst out laughing and said they were not inviting the half mast kid. I feel so sorry for him! Obviously he’s at the age now where the other kids will pick on him for it. It’s not like he’s simply outgrowing his trousers, his mum buys them new like this.

Anyway I’ve recently joined the gym, as has this lads mum and we recognised each other from school and have become friendly. I’ve asked her how her DS is getting on at school and she’s said he gets a bit of bother off the others but it’s because he’s quiet. I really want to bring up the trousers but AIBU to do so? I see kids and parents laughing about him all the time bless him. I can’t understand how she doesn’t see it? Or why she buys him such Ill fitting trousers?!

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 28/11/2021 14:05

Parents laughing about him is absolutely disgusting, no wonder their children are becoming such horrible bullies. Poor boy.

If you’re genuine and have a chatty relationship with her, I’d bring it up as “Jimmy seems so much taller this term, we’ve starred putting Bobby into the next size clothes to keep up with his growth spurts. Something non direct anyway, it doesn’t sound as though you’re the best of friends.

AndMatt · 28/11/2021 14:05

Do today's 9yos even know what half mast means, let alone have it in their regular vocab to the extent it becomes a nickname?

Stormwhale · 28/11/2021 14:07

Tell her.

kowari · 28/11/2021 14:08

Does he need that size so they stay up? I found supermarket trousers to be very wide compared to the length.

Carrotte · 28/11/2021 14:08

Why are the parents joining in with the bullying?

inmyslippers · 28/11/2021 14:08

Parents laughing about him is absolutely disgusting, no wonder their children are becoming such horrible bullies. Poor boy.

^ that poor child isn't the problem. What a depressing read

Gerlais · 28/11/2021 14:10

Well obviously they have heard it from their parents!

He’s a skinny lad so I’m wondering if she buys the size younger to fit his waist? If so I know Next do adjustable waists as my lad is also very skinny. I just want a way to bring it up without sounding horrible or judgy. I was picked on at school for what I wore, it was traumatising and so humiliating. I was the charity shop kid.

OP posts:
Gerlais · 28/11/2021 14:11

There are some horrible parents at this school, they’re worse than the kids.

OP posts:
DeepaBeesKit · 28/11/2021 14:11

Is he really thin?

Kids clothes these days are made to fit our overweight children. School trousers I find terrible for this - my son is slim and I have to have slim fit trousers buttoned as tight as possible, even then the legs of the ones that fit length wise are incredibly baggy.

My nephew is much thinner and my sibling has to buy quite short trousers or they simply fall off him.

Carrotte · 28/11/2021 14:11

Could you have a word with the Head and get them to do an antibullying assembly and a letter home shaming the parents for joining in?

grapewine · 28/11/2021 14:12

@Carrotte

Why are the parents joining in with the bullying?
Yeah, this is disgusting.
DeepaBeesKit · 28/11/2021 14:12

Gerlais this kid could be my nephew. My sibling has tried every brand of adjustable trousers going and they are all much too big on him.

SmolCat · 28/11/2021 14:12

That phrase is one the children will have heard from adults. It’s not a phrase children use. Those parents are dicks.

Carrotte · 28/11/2021 14:12

The problem isn't the trousers though it's the vile scum bullies

kowari · 28/11/2021 14:13

Adjustable waists don't work if they are truly too big, you just end up with a lot of excess material bunched up so they are uncomfortable and look awful. M&S do a longer length, they cost more but you can let the hem down too so they will fit for two years easily.

DowntonCrabby · 28/11/2021 14:14

I have skinny tall DC, M&S do a slim range and George/matalan (probably others) have the elastic/button puller-in thing on the waistband.

If you’re going to say anything to her I’d actually also encourage her to discuss the extent of the bullying with school, it really does sound horrible.

ThePlantsitter · 28/11/2021 14:14

You sound nice and I am confident you can find a way to do it not horribly. Something starting with 'I feel really awkward saying but I was picked on at school and I know how you can make it stop for Jasper'.

Truth is it might not stop the bullying anyway because once people have clocked a non-conformer they tend to be utter bastards about it for the rest of eternity, but it is worth a shot.

DowntonCrabby · 28/11/2021 14:15

Just seeing the PP’s having the issues with the adjuster, the M&S slim range is great. My DS can cope fine right bunched waist, DD hated anything feeling funny so had to have skirts properly fitted.

Gerlais · 28/11/2021 14:15

Why are people such bastards to each other. It’s so depressing.

OP posts:
Billyboing · 28/11/2021 14:17

You should call out the parents the next time you hear it.

CasaBonita · 28/11/2021 14:19

I'd report to the school personally. Or are the teachers all laughing at this poor kid too?

ponkydonkey · 28/11/2021 14:23

I'd buy a few pairs of the skinny fit trousers and ask her she wants to borrow them as they are too big for your son?

randomsabreuse · 28/11/2021 14:23

I can believe it's a fit thing. I have a lanky and narrow hipped girl. The only school skirt that vaguely works is age 3-4 in XX long. The adjusters are still pulled in - she is 6.

If she were a boy we'd have no end of trouble with trousers but she's ok with sporty leggings and mostly wears pinafores which are ok when too big...

Fortunately 3 year old DS is a more normal width (broader hips, chest and shoulders than DD already) so should be fine with normal trousers.

JustLyra · 28/11/2021 14:25

That parents have taught their children that phrase, and allowed them to give it to the kid as a nickname is fucking vile.

It would tell me a lot about who I encouraged my kid to spend time with.
I’d also come down like a tonne of bricks if they ever used it in earshot, or suggested he didn’t deserve party invitations because of his clothes.

Children can be cruel, but parents are so much worse.

ponkydonkey · 28/11/2021 14:26

Also marks and Spencer's school trousers have a hem that you can let down too!

My son is very slim and tall and loved these ones

www.marksandspencer.com/school-2pk-boys-skinny-leg-trousers/p/clp60490639?color=BLACK