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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Half mast trousers kid

128 replies

Gerlais · 28/11/2021 14:00

In my sons class at school is a boy who has always worn very half mast trousers. He’s 9 now and is known by the other kids (and some of the parents) as the half mast kid. When the kids went back to school in September he was sent in with new school trousers which were so short they were above his ankle socks (and they’re loose fitting too so not trendy half mast). Obviously I’ve told DS not to mention it but he has asked why the lad wears such short trousers (to which I’ve said it’s none of our business).
A few weeks ago DSs friend was talking about his birthday party and someone asked if this lad was going to which the kids burst out laughing and said they were not inviting the half mast kid. I feel so sorry for him! Obviously he’s at the age now where the other kids will pick on him for it. It’s not like he’s simply outgrowing his trousers, his mum buys them new like this.

Anyway I’ve recently joined the gym, as has this lads mum and we recognised each other from school and have become friendly. I’ve asked her how her DS is getting on at school and she’s said he gets a bit of bother off the others but it’s because he’s quiet. I really want to bring up the trousers but AIBU to do so? I see kids and parents laughing about him all the time bless him. I can’t understand how she doesn’t see it? Or why she buys him such Ill fitting trousers?!

OP posts:
shouldistop · 28/11/2021 19:56

I've never heard half mast used for an erection. I understand it as too short trousers although they'd be more commonly referred to as budgies when I was at school.

Hankunamatata · 28/11/2021 19:57

This has reminded me that I had to cut the labels out of my 13 year old trousers as I had to buy him 11 year old trousers in extra long and let the hems down just to avoid bunching at the waist which he hates. They still look a little short but he wears them tight with black leather shoes so looks trendy

rightsideoftheroad · 28/11/2021 19:57

The phrase half mast has nothing to do with trousers being short - are you sure that's the reason he is being called half mast?

shouldistop · 28/11/2021 19:59

@BungleandGeorge thank you, I didn't notice they did extra long. I'll definitely buy them next. I don't even think ds is particularly skinny, he's a perfectly healthy weight.

Just10moreminutesplease · 28/11/2021 19:59

Bloody hell, the parents are joining in? You really should contact the head if your not sure that the class teachers will take it seriously. Do it anonymously if you are worried, but you can’t just stand by and watch adults bullying a child.

NerrSnerr · 28/11/2021 20:01

@rightsideoftheroad where I'm originally from (Yorkshire) we called short trousers 'half mast'.

honeylemonteaforme · 28/11/2021 20:03

Think it's more about bullying than trousers tbh. There must be other kids who are outgrowing their clothes. I'd start by speaking to the form teacher.

Bywayofanupdate · 28/11/2021 20:03

Shame on those parents. If it was my child I would want to know OP please tell her

ElsieMc · 28/11/2021 20:14

Yes, @JustLyra before you get too judgy I did in intervene with the worst offender - that is precisely how I knew how bad things were. The school did not like intervention in pupil disputes and I then took abuse from his mum. Only on MN.

sourdoughismyreligion · 28/11/2021 20:18

Tell the mum. If it were my child I'd want to know.

GotToGoBye · 28/11/2021 20:19

I’d tell her and also either you or she could speak to school about bullying.

Unfortunately fixing the trousers might not solve all.

kowari · 28/11/2021 20:23

[quote shouldistop]@BungleandGeorge thank you, I didn't notice they did extra long. I'll definitely buy them next. I don't even think ds is particularly skinny, he's a perfectly healthy weight. [/quote]
It's the clothes, not the kids. They make them far too wide. DS 15 is dead on 50th centile for bmi and he wore 'half mast' age 12 jeans last winter, luckily a 28/32 stays up now.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 28/11/2021 20:29

This is heartbreaking. Poor boy.

Summerfun54321 · 28/11/2021 20:34

If it were me I would tell the mum that you’ve heard some very unkind things said about her kid’s trousers and that you’ve contacted the school to advise they do some anti bullying lessons for the kids to help educate them and their parents. Disgusting behaviour.

Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead · 28/11/2021 20:34

Ahhh poor kid. My heart is breaking for him. Yes tell his mum. Bring ot up in a round about way. Tell her about how you were picked on for your clothes (I was too).

Can't believe the parents are joining in. Fucking twats.

SoNotRainbowRhythms · 28/11/2021 21:16

@Carrotte

Why are the parents joining in with the bullying?
The parents have started it
tallduckandhandsome · 28/11/2021 21:26

I know someone who still wears a similar trouser style to this day and who had humble roots and is now wildly successful.

I wish the same for this boy.

careerchangeperhaps · 28/11/2021 21:37

@kowari

Does he need that size so they stay up? I found supermarket trousers to be very wide compared to the length.
Yes this. My DC are slim (not skinny) and as most clothes seem to now be made to accommodate the ever-increasing number of wider children, I struggle to find trousers that stay up if they're the right height for them.
DinosaurDuvet · 29/11/2021 00:11

My DS had this problem when he was younger, he’s more balanced now, but his wee waist was non existent & big long, skinny legs. Sadly he did not inherit these features from me.

Original poster
Gerlais · 29/11/2021 10:12

Half mast here either refers to flags or trousers. Never heard it in relation to erections and pretty shocked that people would draw this conclusion on a post about kids

OP posts:
SnowdaySewday · 29/11/2021 11:53

You need to tell the school that this child is being bullied. The trousers are a red herring - if it wasn’t them, it would be something else - and focussing on them is a form of victim-blaming.

Talk to the head/ deputy head or the safeguarding lead. There are several issues: the child is being bullied, the school's policies and teaching about bullying isn't robust enough if your 9-year-old doesn't know who to report it to, and the involvement of the parents (the one on the PTA is not “in with” the teachers, but is trying to create an imbalance of power over other parents, which is one of the factors that define bullying).

ClaudiaJ1 · 29/11/2021 12:09

@Gerlais

Half mast here either refers to flags or trousers. Never heard it in relation to erections and pretty shocked that people would draw this conclusion on a post about kids
I was pretty shocked that you would use the term half mast in a post about kids, because I assumed as it's an international actually recognised definition that you'd know exactly what it meant, tbh, I was a bit confused and disturbed by your phraseology which is why I said what the definition of it is. It's (apart from a flag) always been an international definition for erections, even in science and therapist journals. Which is why I was shocked you used it about a 9 year old child. Never in my entire life have I heard it said about trousers, until this thread. I have to confess that I was so shocked that I actually contemplated reporting your post because of your use of the term in a thread about a child, Blush I'm glad I didn't though because I learned it's a definition for trousers, but mast refers to something standing up and out, so it doesn't really even make sense in the context of trousers since they don't stand up and out, they lie flat on your body. So calling trousers half mast or full mast doesn't actually make any linguistic or logical sense in context, but, anyway. shrugs

I would tell the mother he is being bullied and why, like I said. The school also needs to take direct action, the fact adults are bullying him is far worse to me, he's just a kid, what type of adult hurts a child? Angry And maybe the child has sensory issues and likes his trousers like that.

Hankunamatata · 29/11/2021 12:14

Mast doesnt refer to something sticking out. It's the position of a flag on a vertical flag pole. Half mast is when flag is only half up the vertical flag pole.

Anonymouseposter · 29/11/2021 12:18

Half mast, as in flags and trousers, means half way up/down, nothing to do with standing up and out.
I have never heard it for a semi erection but can see why it would be used for that.
I have only heard it used for flags and trousers. I hope the bullying parents and kids only had trousers in mind.
I would tell his Mum that you know it's hard to get trousers for tall and slim kids but that the kids are taking the piss out of him for the too short trousers and you thought she would want to know.

pinkgin85 · 29/11/2021 12:25

This broke my heart :(

My Ds6 is extra skinny so my DH makes it a point to get his school trousers tailored at the waist, so that the length is right. He's very particular about this because he was the same build at this age and did get bullied by kids and he doesn't want that for our son.

I think I would gently mention something about trousers being massive these days and needing to be taken in?

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