Half mast trousers kid

[Gerlais]

In my sons class at school is a boy who has always worn very half mast trousers. He’s 9 now and is known by the other kids (and some of the parents) as the half mast kid. When the kids went back to school in September he was sent in with new school trousers which were so short they were above his ankle socks (and they’re loose fitting too so not trendy half mast). Obviously I’ve told DS not to mention it but he has asked why the lad wears such short trousers (to which I’ve said it’s none of our business).
A few weeks ago DSs friend was talking about his birthday party and someone asked if this lad was going to which the kids burst out laughing and said they were not inviting the half mast kid. I feel so sorry for him! Obviously he’s at the age now where the other kids will pick on him for it. It’s not like he’s simply outgrowing his trousers, his mum buys them new like this.

Anyway I’ve recently joined the gym, as has this lads mum and we recognised each other from school and have become friendly. I’ve asked her how her DS is getting on at school and she’s said he gets a bit of bother off the others but it’s because he’s quiet. I really want to bring up the trousers but AIBU to do so? I see kids and parents laughing about him all the time bless him. I can’t understand how she doesn’t see it? Or why she buys him such Ill fitting trousers?!

Only an adult would know half mast, it’s obviously come from there. Just asked my 10 and 12 yo and they don’t know the meaning either.
I’d be really cross that the parents are taking the piss. I hope it isn’t the teachers too

I'd be really direct with the mum, tbh. She's letting him down not finding a better solution.

And yeah, 'half mast' is quite an archaic term for a bunch of millenial+ school parent bullies to be using.

Well one of the worst offenders is well in with the teachers and involved in all the pta groups etc so I can imagine the teachers doing it too.

It wouldn’t even occur to my 9 year old to call a boy ‘half mast’, I really doubt he’d even notice someone else’s trouser length. Very odd.

Poor kid 😔

It doesn't sound like money's necessarily the issue if he's always in new smart trousers, I wonder if she could have the right length trousers taken in properly at the waist by a seamstress? It's not something people tend to do anymore, they either want everything to fit off the peg or not bother.

Not sure how you'd bring it up though, unless you blagged that you'd done the same.

I'd tell her that her son is being bullied. As a parent, I would want to know that so I could have a chat with him and then take it up with the school.

If you do that, no need to mention the trousers thing specifically as she will either hear it from her DS or from the school. It's really a symptom of a much more serious issue, anyway (the bullying).

My eldest like really short shorts, because he doesn't like the style that flaps round his knees. So I buy him short shorts. My friends have commented on it, and I've explained it's a sensory thing for DS. Might be the same for this kid.

Thankfully DS is confident enough to put a stop to any comments he gets (such as when asked why his shorts are so short by a class mate he said "because I like them this way" in a really matter of fact way).

@AndMatt

Do today's 9yos even know what half mast means, let alone have it in their regular vocab to the extent it becomes a nickname?

No, so if they are calling him that it has come from parents.

Seriously no child that age would know the saying "half mast" - sadly that's probably come from a parent who should know better. Shocking.

My son was extremely thin. He still has 27inch waist at 5,7 and weighs under 8 stone. in fact as he has now just turned 18 he is officially underweight.

I always found skinny fit trousers for him in Asda or sainsbury's very cheap. Maybe mum just cant see it as too close?

I'm.sure there is a non direct way to start the convo with her? But saying that, I have had plenty of mums come up to me directly about my dds terrible exams, trying to help me with my shockingly scabby child. I was never offended. Any new info I was always happy to receive

@CasaBonita

I'd report to the school personally. Or are the teachers all laughing at this poor kid too?

Why would they be?

This makes me so sad as it could so easily be my gentle, quiet 8 year old. I constantly have to tell him to pull his trousers up as he had autism and is oblivious about clothing.

Exams = exzama!

@Gerlais

Well one of the worst offenders is well in with the teachers and involved in all the pta groups etc so I can imagine the teachers doing it too.

Only on mumsnet do I hear of teachers even knowing, never mind caring, which parents are involved with the PTA.

I wouldn't want my child to go to a school where parents are so openly mean about a child, and where you suspect the teachers would join in the bullying.

@Gerlais

Well one of the worst offenders is well in with the teachers and involved in all the pta groups etc so I can imagine the teachers doing it too.

That doesn't mean that the teachers are involved in this.

My youngest has just started reception. The skinny fit age 2-3 trousers from M&S still fell down (with the buttons done at the tightest). We managed to get some that just about fit from Next but we tried all the supermarkets and they are all just massive on him.

My children don't have round bums so clothes just fall off them (luckily my daughter prefers school dresses).

Downton I find even the m&s slim fit range is still too big! My nearly 5 yo is 115cm tall and doesn't weigh 19kg yet

How do 9 year olds know the term half mast?

My kids were always thin and the trousersin shops would've fit me. So damn wide. It was impossible to get them to fit and look decent so in the end they just wore black jeans.
That poor child.
What irritates me (a lot) is the fact that the parents are just as effin bad as the kids.

I would try to tell her, but not sure how? Someone here will surely have a diplomatic idea...

My kid likes to wear his trousers small, I try to weed the smaller ones out but he does prefer tight, short trousers so I don’t have the heart to be too ruthless getting rid of the smaller trousers. He has properly fitting trousers to wear if he wants but he doesn’t. If someone mentioned it to me I wouldn’t be offended (but I can image that some people would be).

@Gerlais

Well one of the worst offenders is well in with the teachers and involved in all the pta groups etc so I can imagine the teachers doing it too.

If the teachers are doing it too I'd move schools

If it was me I would buy him trousers I think would fit, rip the labels off, wash them, and then casually say - by the way my friend gave me these from her son they have only been worn once but they don't fit my son I was thinking your son might fit them.

@ittakes2

If it was me I would buy him trousers I think would fit, rip the labels off, wash them, and then casually say - by the way my friend gave me these from her son they have only been worn once but they don't fit my son I was thinking your son might fit them.

Wtf

The kid doesn't need new trousers the bullys need to be spoken to