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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What time do you lie in until?

168 replies

Rosebel · 28/11/2021 11:28

What time do you think is an acceptable lie in time if you have young children? No plans or anything for the day but 11:30 is a bit of a piss take isn't it?
I would say 9 is a lie in, what do others think?

OP posts:
123ZYX · 28/11/2021 13:56

DH and I have a morning each for a lie in - the other creeps out of the room as quietly as possible to look after DS whenever he wakes up (normally about 6.30).

We don't have an agreed time to get up, but have tended towards the same sort of time as each other. If we're asleep for the whole lie in, then whenever we wake up, which tends to be no later than 9.30am. If we wake up earlier we'll stay in bed and read or rest (I take a cup of tea back up to bed) and we'll get up no later than 9am.

We both feel that gives us enough resting time to get us through the next week!

MintyGreenDream · 28/11/2021 13:58

9.30ish 7yr old ds

WhenSepEnds · 28/11/2021 14:16

@Rosebel

What time do you think is an acceptable lie in time if you have young children? No plans or anything for the day but 11:30 is a bit of a piss take isn't it? I would say 9 is a lie in, what do others think?
It's been so long since it's even been an option,'I don't remember ConfusedGrin send tiny violins GrinWink
Bebabelouba · 28/11/2021 17:43

Thread hijack. Thanks for people who replied re bed times & early mornings.
I like to sleep in. I couldn't when DC v small.
I regularly don't stop working until 8pm and need time to do chores and unwind, as well as eat!
I feel justified in my weekend lie ins. 11 am.
OP I don't think the lie in is the issue, it's consideration.

Treaclepie19 · 28/11/2021 17:45

Ours get up by 6 (ds) and 6.30 (dd) so if one of us stays in bed we tend to get up by 8.30 really. We rarely bother though.

Treaclepie19 · 28/11/2021 17:46

Should've said ds is 6 and dd is 1.

It isn't my norm because I'm a night owl. Much happier going to bed in the early hours and getting up later.

tealandteal · 28/11/2021 18:30

We have alternate days on the weekends, and both lie in til 8:30. Usually up at 6 so still a nice lie in and is still early enough to go places on the weekends.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/11/2021 18:58

8-9 am usually

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/11/2021 18:59

If the kids aren’t here I can sleep til midday if I’ve got nothing planned, and so don’t set an alarm. Even though there are no blinds/ curtains in my room at the moment. Even if I need to be up at 11 I need to set some sort of alarm in case. Never lost that ability to lie in!

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 28/11/2021 19:04

@NovemberNovemberDarkNights it lovely, until we don't take the sheets off and change the bed Sunday afternoon and get into a crumb filled bed Sunday night (happens way more often than I care to admit 🤣)

LittleGwyneth · 28/11/2021 19:14

11 would be my ideal. What's wrong with that?

Thomasina79 · 28/11/2021 19:18

It’s a problem for me because I am a chronic insomniac. I regularly wake up several times a night, usually for a wee, or cramp. I can wake at 3 or 4 and stay awake for an hour or so. If I can get back to sleep at around 5 I have a really good sleep and can wake at eight o clock feeling fairly refreshed. If I have to get up for work at around 6.30 after such at night it is a different matter! So for me, I clutch at the chance of a lie in when I can. Everyone is different though and young children apart, there are no right or wrong answers.

senorafridgidaire · 28/11/2021 19:31

No children here but a dog who loves mornings. 8am is a lie in, 9am would be totally decadent and unheard of!

rainyskylight · 28/11/2021 19:32

8:30. 1 DD, just turned 1.

PieTastic · 28/11/2021 19:36

11am seems quite late if you have young dc. I'd say 830 is fine, kids can watch TV unattended until then.

Triffid1 · 28/11/2021 19:36

the issue is not how late he is lying in so much as he is getting all the lie ins. DH had a bit of a habit of doing the "I'll get up in a minute" thing when the DC were young and crying so that eventually, by the time he got up, I was so wound up and stressed out that I couldn't go back to sleep. I did have a fairly serious conversation with him at one point. He couldn't understand it because the kids could wake him up and then he'd go back to sleep immediately so he simply didn't see why it ws such an issue for me. But he did make an effort after that, even if I suspect in his head he thought it was ridiculous (I did also point out that as a rule, the kids didn't wake him up for half an hour or more at a time as I'd usually get up on my days pretty quickly).

I'd also say that while the kids were small and high maintenance, lie ins were really no later than about 9:30. But now that they're older, if I'm up with the kids I don't bother waking DH at all until he wants to get up and if I'm the one lying in I feel no guilt sitting upstairs with a book and a cup of tea until 11 or so.

oviraptor21 · 28/11/2021 19:47

Getting up earlier would be a waste for me as I'm hugely unproductive before about 8am.
However, I don't often go to bed before midnight so get a lot done at that end of the day.
In terms of lie-ins, in the days when we had early rising DC, 10am would be reasonable. We had one day each at the weekend.

Skysblue · 28/11/2021 19:47

An hour after the kids are up is a good lie in, two hours is luxury, more is taking the piss.

11.30 is not ok unless partner doesn’t mjnd!

Skysblue · 28/11/2021 19:50

DH works long hours and apparently this entitles him to all of the lie ins. I get up when kids do somewhere in between 6 - 7.30.

At weekends DH emerges from the duvet around 9.30 and then wanders around making himself brunch and showering etc. Is zero help before afternoon.

What’s sad is that at 8am Inquite like my husband, but by the time we meet at the weekend I’m usually seething.

fedup65356 · 28/11/2021 19:50

Weekends I get up at 6am to toilet DDog and give her breakfast, then go back to bed until around 9am.

A580Hojas · 28/11/2021 19:54

When my children were very little (say under 5) I would have said 8am was a blissful lie-in. 7am and I would have been extremely grateful.

Now they are older and can lie in until noon or beyond (honestly, this really happens to most teenagers) I find 9am to be a lovely, rare, weekend treat and I would only stay in bed that long if I'd had a terrible night's sleep due to insomnia. So not that much of a treat at all as a straight 7 or 8 hours sleep is so much nicer.

Kite22 · 28/11/2021 19:56

I haven't voted as it depends too much on circumstances.

There is no right and wrong time AS LONG AS the kids are looked after, and each of you gets the chance to lie in.

This ^
I don't see the point in getting up at 9am, if your dh is looking after them, and if you could sleep longer. Isn't that the whole point of agreeing to take turns to lie in, that you get to catch up on sleep ? Confused
Obviously if you are going somewhere, you need to get up. Obviously if you need to be looking after little children, you need to get up. Obviously if you are wfh, or studying, or have agreed to someone coming round at 9.10 am then you need to get up, but if none of the above are true, then I don't set my alarm, so I let my body decide when to wake up.

30whatacrock · 28/11/2021 19:57

Anything after 8am would be a piss take if you have kids. To stay in bed until half 11 is very lazy. The day is half over by then.

Ragwort · 28/11/2021 19:58

Why do you feel 'guilty' if your DH is looking after his own child ? Confused That's a bit of a martyrish attitude.

Personally DH and I have never wanted or needed 'lie ins' but we would each get plenty of time to do our own thing .... that might be an early morning walk, going to church, cycle ride, golf, seeing friends ...

We always 'took separate shifts' at weekends so that we had time to ourselves... if one of us had wanted a lie in then it wouldn't have been a problem but we never really got into mindlessly doing 'nothing' for the sake of family time.

As always, you need to come to a compromise... did you want your DH to get up to do something specific or do you just not like the idea of him having a lie in?

Kitkat151 · 28/11/2021 20:01

About 10 or 11 is a nice lie in for me