To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

Glad you got the money back.
You shouldn't have even had to ask.

Thry are nothing more than thieves. Have nothing more to do with them.

That's awful. And if paying you back for the tickets is a major issue because they can't afford it, then they need to tell you that's why and be extra apologetic.

I'm glad they sent you the money OP. They were fully in the wrong and could have just sent you the tickets over and saved themself the 60 odd quid. Also glad you've booked again!

@Viviennemary

Thry are nothing more than thieves. Have nothing more to do with them.

This is a bit extra but I like it 😂

@BirdyBirdyTweetTweet

Yeah I'd want my money back. And if they were decent and valued your friendship (ignore those that say consider their friendship) they'd have sent it back already.

Good job they have done that then!

That you asked for the tickets and they refused is enough of a reason they need to reimburse you.

Glad you got your money back, OP, and hope you and your children enjoy the event when(if) you go.

It's always the way that people like your friends that are so invested and concerned about their own child(ren) give zero thought to other children, no thought whatsoever to your children being bored brainless sitting in a car after a long journey desperately wanting to go and do what they made the journey for. It's selfish and self centred behaviour from your friends.

In their shoes I would have sent the tickets when I realised we had no chance of making it in time. And I would sent the money without being asked (in that situation that I wouldn’t have got into). They’re too self-absorbed OP. Well done for standing your ground.

Glad you got your money back. I’d have been furious. I’ve got every sympathy with how tricky things can be with a breastfed baby that age but you don’t arrange time-sensitive, expensive, long distance trips with friends unless you’re confident you can make it without letting others down.

I knew one woman and she printed so many photos of her new baby, she even gave one to the postman. She mistook him asking how she was for him actually wanting a photo of her baby!! (he had his own children!!)

Loopers.

To the op, They will probably rewrite and retell that story you know, that you were all late and they had to give you back the money because they bought the tickets. Make out like you shafted them and they had a new baby.

You do not need friends like that. Avoid them like covid.

Yep I don’t think I’d ever be able to move past that entirely. It speaks volumes that they were happy to make you miss the event and then be CFers enough to not return your money. They are the type of people I’d struggle to remain friends with.

Are you sure the tickets were the amount they were and they wernt trying it on to get in without you hoping you would bail, turn round and say weve missed it now and go home therefore they could use your tickets?
Seems a little sus they couldn't just send them over to you it's pretty easy to do with smart phones!
Nah not buying it.
I would ask for the money back
If they don't then the friendship would break down because of their disrespect for me my time, and money.

@Bumpsadaisie

I remember some of my TERRIBLE pfb moments. But even in the deepest grip of it I don't think I would actually have been this rude to friends!

I confess -

(1) when my parents had DD to stay, I did insist that mum set up her iTunes on her laptop next to the travel cot - so that DD could hear Mozart string quartets as she went to sleep - just like at home. DD was three months old. To my mother's eternal credit she humoured me. DD hates classic music with a passion now. and no wonder, she was forced to listen to it every night when she probably just wanted a bit of peace and quiet.

(2) I didn't want to take off DD's baby vest for her weigh in with the HV at her first check at home, because I didn't want her to get cold or feel in any way exposed.

So the work round was that we weighed the vest separately and then we subtracted the weigh of the vest from the weight of (vest-clad) DD.

I am sure I had calmed down a bit by the time we got to 8 months though!

Sorry Bumpsadasie but that really made me .

Well done OP and glad you can go another time.

They've learnt a hugely important life lesson here, their PFB shouldn't dictate the life of other families. Also if their child is so inconsistent in terms of feeding, never buy timed ticket entry!

@HyacynthBucket

Starray and Bumpsadaisie Me too. Its hard to believe that people can be so self absorbed and inconsiderate to even think that "Its just one of those things" when it is their fault. DP and I booked a stay in my cousin's holiday home abroad that he let to family and friends. We arrived after a four flight and taxi journey to the address, but could not get in. Eventually a man came to the door - he had been staying for a week with his wife, and they should have gone home earlier in the day. But they missed their flight and came back to the house, although it was booked for us by then. He refused to leave and wouldn't let us in, and said "Its just one of those things". It was just so unbelievable that he thought he could stay on in the house because they had got to the airport too late. We lost a day of our holiday and a night's sleep because of it.

You are very far from BU, OP. I hope this all works out for you and your DC and you enjoy the lights soon.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. How dare he? The audacity of some people

Even if they were skint it doesn't give them the right to waste your £62!!
Glad they coughed up.
Can't wait until they are dealing with a toddler and trying to get out of the house on time!!

Oh god @Jibberjabberhutt I didn’t really think of that! Don’t think they use mumsnet…but hopefully it as I’ve written the text messages word for word

Well it won't have done them any harm to realise how unreasonable they've been, nor to see that 99% of posters agree with you!

Sorry! Didn't see post about them paying you back I'm glad they did

So pleased you got the money back from them. How dare they think they weren't at fault here!
Also at 8 months old most babies are on at least 2 meals a day and not fed on demand!

We had a situation recently where we were meeting family for a day trip but got caught in traffic due to accident, we just sent their tickets so they could enjoy the day without waiting

Glad you got your money back.

They sound absolutely pathetic.

I think YANBU and I’m the queen of PFB.

I hope you give them another chance at friendship, they’ll get perspective eventually.

I'm remember the PFB stage and behaving like a bit of a tosser. Particularly where naps were concerned
But I'm glad they've done the right thing and sent you the money. Hopefully they won't see this thread but if they do they should then reflect on their behaviour...
Enjoy the lights when you do go

Hi friend,
Please could you transfer the £62 for our Christmas lights tickets back to me?
You arrived 45 minutes late, I understand it wasn't deliberate, but you knew you would be late and could have sent the tickets over to us during that time so that we could have gone in.
The kids are still disappointed and we want to rebook for them, please send the money over ASAP.

Its good they have refunded you.Have a good time when you go .