To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

[quote 0verth1inker]@Feedingthebirds1 they definitely did have them! They had them up on the phone and were arguing with the event staff to get in. I think they had this image of us all going in together, wandering round with a hot drink (which would have been lovely!!) and didn’t want us to start without them.
Thanks all- glad to know my indignation is reasonable! I think because their baby didn’t care he missed it as obviously was clueless they didn’t appreciate the impact on our kids (although our four year old did burst into tears when we weren’t allowed in ).
I’ve messaged saying ‘hi guys, I know it’s frustrating and you can’t help if baby needs a feed but we asked you for the tickets as we were there and you wouldn’t send them, otherwise we could have gone in. The kids were looking forward to it so if you could send the money over we Are going to rebook for another time’
Just hope they have tickets left…[/quote]
@0verth1inker

If they had it on the phone why didn’t they just send to you if they were going to be so late ? Such a shame for you to miss out because of their tardiness.

I'd keep my distance from them. And keep on asking for my money back. Such rude behaviour.

Glad you got your money back OP. They maybe a bit pissed off but so what. The first thing they should have done is apologise and give a refund, not wait for you to ask for it. It's a shitty way to treat friends.

@anon12345678901

Glad you got your money back OP. They maybe a bit pissed off but so what. The first thing they should have done is apologise and give a refund, not wait for you to ask for it. It's a shitty way to treat friends.

Well said.

Decent people would have leapt to return the money.

If it were me I’d have been sobbing my apologies and offereing You petrol money as well , they were so sure they would be let in weren’t they !

What do you want more the £62 or the friendship?
I’d attempt to ask the venue for another go - worth a try but I doubt it if they watched your kids cry the first time ! But cunty of them too

@SalonSharon

If I ever book something with e-tickets I always forward the email to rest of the group as soon as I get it.

not because I usually mistakenly delete the email before event

I feel like I could have written this comment myself

Thank the Lord for a happy ending to this as I was fuming on your behalf reading it!!
Justice has been served!!

I'm glad you've got the money back.

Frankly I'm surprised at the amount of people saying you've risked a friendship over £62. You haven't at all, your friend has!

I'd never see a friend in the same way again if they purposefully made me lose money and had no qualms about it. No refund would have seen the end of the friendship as it stood anyway.

I would just go back

We asked xx times for you to send us the details so we could go in, our kids were upset at not going, which is down to you not getting your act together

We need the money back so we can rebook. Please send us the money now

Then if they don’t, final text our friendship is over. And move on

You don’t need friends like this

[quote 0verth1inker]@RampantIvy I have it don’t worry .
Re: feeding she was breastfeeding so couldn’t do it in the car. He doesn’t eat food really or take a bottle so is still bf almost entirely as his food/drink source. Nothing against bf (I did it myself for my two) but I think that’s a large part of why they are so limited by the baby, they are still in ‘feed on demand’ mode so if he’s hungry everything drops until he’s fed which can take up to an hour. This must be frustrating for them too so I do try and sympathise![/quote]

Then they should know better than to make plans that involve time, distance and expense for other people.

@KaycePollard

I'd keep my distance from them. And keep on asking for my money back. Such rude behaviour.

They don't need to "keep on asking" They have their money back.

[quote 0verth1inker]@RampantIvy I have it don’t worry .
Re: feeding she was breastfeeding so couldn’t do it in the car. He doesn’t eat food really or take a bottle so is still bf almost entirely as his food/drink source. Nothing against bf (I did it myself for my two) but I think that’s a large part of why they are so limited by the baby, they are still in ‘feed on demand’ mode so if he’s hungry everything drops until he’s fed which can take up to an hour. This must be frustrating for them too so I do try and sympathise![/quote]
Their 8mo doesn't really eat food and still breastfeeds on demand?

That sounds excruciatingly PFB

Are they seriously refusing to give you the money back?"

What's PFB?

You shouldn't have even had to ask once, let alone twice Op. they should have formed out there and then for tickets to avoid a wasted journey, wasted time, upset for your children and to not spoil what should have been a lovely time.

To not do that, then attempt to refuse a refund after your first request THEN send the funds after the second ask but with an offish response speaks volumes about their character.

It saws their fault, they could have avoided all this by sending the tickets when you very first asked!!!!

And with a decent combined income just makes them sound tight too.

Glad you got your money back. Aside from the inconvenience to you, I find the part where she said ‘ridiculous that we weren’t let in’ to be really annoying! Why is it some people always think rules should be bent to let THEM do whatever they want? It is so selfish.

@0verth1inker

Oh god *@Jibberjabberhutt* I didn’t really think of that! Don’t think they use mumsnet…but hopefully it as I’ve written the text messages word for word .

I hope they are too busy with their pfb to be engaging in any type of media, this type of situation is prime to be picked up

No, they have returned it, with a curt message.

Their 8mo doesn't really eat food and still breastfeeds on demand? That sounds excruciatingly PFB

Not necessarily. DD was barely eating at that age, although in her case she had some serious health issues which, thankfully, resolved themselves.

[quote 0verth1inker]@RampantIvy I have it don’t worry .
Re: feeding she was breastfeeding so couldn’t do it in the car. He doesn’t eat food really or take a bottle so is still bf almost entirely as his food/drink source. Nothing against bf (I did it myself for my two) but I think that’s a large part of why they are so limited by the baby, they are still in ‘feed on demand’ mode so if he’s hungry everything drops until he’s fed which can take up to an hour. This must be frustrating for them too so I do try and sympathise![/quote]
Good lord it doesn’t take an HOUR to feed a baby at that age! I’m currently feeding my 7.5 month old and it takes about 10/15 minutes.

@PipeOfPringles

It is really hard to work around a EBF young baby but that's why you aim for 2 hours earlier than you need and you definitely don't limit other people to your timetable.

This is not a newborn though, they’re 8 months.

Good lord it doesn’t take an HOUR to feed a baby at that age! I’m currently feeding my 7.5 month old and it takes about 10/15 minutes

I'm afraid it does with some babies. DD was a slow breastfeeder. I think she just didn't have a strong suck. It used to take DD that long to feed at 6 months. Not all babies are the same.

That’s a fucking joke, tbh. They either need to rebook, pay for everyone and send you the tickets in advance OR give you your money back. Both with profuse apologies applied.

It’s no wonder you’re fuming.

@TheSecondMrsAshwell

I have this trouble with my DB, he is INCREDIBLY flaky. He will always there in about 10 mins, honest. Yes, I know I said 10 mins half an hour ago, but I really am only 10 mins away now.

He was going to help me pick something up the other week..... Coming today..... Not today, definitely tomorrow..... Is Wednesday okay? Boils my piss. And I speak as someone who is always late. Or very early. Never on time.

Glad you got your money back though. Not sure I would stay in contact, mind. Sounds like being called on their flakiness has soured them.

So you know how irritating it is and yet you're "always late"?

Yeah I'd want my money back. And if they were decent and valued your friendship (ignore those that say consider their friendship) they'd have sent it back already.