To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

YANBU

@imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere

Hi friend, Please could you transfer the £62 for our Christmas lights tickets back to me? You arrived 45 minutes late, I understand it wasn't deliberate, but you knew you would be late and could have sent the tickets over to us during that time so that we could have gone in. The kids are still disappointed and we want to rebook for them, please send the money over ASAP.

Luckily she got the money back 2 hours ago.

They absolutely should have emailed you the tickets

I’d be raging too!

I really hope you can rebook!

Let them be annoyed with you. Their own doing

@CatJumperTwat

5 minutes, not days like my DB or hours like OP's friends who clearly hadn't left when they were supposed to have met.

Yesterday's lateness was genius. I asked a policeman for directions and got sent the wrong way.

I don't have £62 to throw away... especially not the wasted petrol money too.

I would flat out tell them they are repaying me otherwise take it up with the bank - as in this instance you paid your friend for good/service that they refused to give to you until after it was contractually too late and you missed out.

Maybe it's because we aren't rich and can't waste money like that but I don't know a single person that would raise hell over £62+ of their money being wasted by someone else and if the friendship is ruined its NOT OPs fault.

I think you should speak to the organiser and explain your situation and see if they let you go another day?

Glad you got your money back and hope you enjoy the event when you rebook.

I'd be pulling back from the friendship because I can't stand baby bores!
No - just because I have a child too I don't want to hear excruciating detail about yours, their feeding, their sleep habits ad infinitum.

They don't sound like friends to me.

You’re entitled to a refund

You’re in the right. But I would try and let go.

In a few years when they look back on this event they’ll probably be quite ashamed. Sleep deprivation and baby stress makes us do weird things. Once they’re out of the PFB daze they’ll realise and feel

I often look back on my PFB phase and I’m mortified by some of the things I did and said. Always putting nap time first etc. It’s ridiculous and embarrassing

I think it's a really good sign you've got the money back so quickly. They could have quibbled it given they are the ones now out of pocket but they haven't, so whether or not they feel guilty, at least they aren't looking to pick a fight over it.

I’d be fuming, that’s outrageous behaviour!

I'd of lost my shit they've cost you £62 because they couldnt be arsed to get ready. £62 while maybe not be a lot of money would be a lot to lose to me especially so close to Xmas

@ArrrMeHearties

I'd of lost my shit they've cost you £62 because they couldnt be arsed to get ready. £62 while maybe not be a lot of money would be a lot to lose to me especially so close to Xmas

They haven't cost her anything, she's got her money back and rebooked

To be honest, I think this friendship is pretty much over anyway, @0verth1inker, so I would have no qualms in pursuing them for the money. Maybe a message along these lines:

Dear Flakey Friend,

This was not ‘just one of those things’ - our kids were devastated to kiss this event, and we cannot afford to lose £62 because you can’t manage your time.

If you had sent us the tickets when we asked for them, we could still have taken the children to this event, but as you chose not to do that, I have to ask you to give us back the £62 we spent on these wasted tickets.

@0verth1inker.

I think they were out of order, in your shoes I'd push for your friend to request a refund/rescheduled tickets from the venue. Explain that the delay was due to a baby needing a feed and hopefully the venue will be understanding.

They should have let you use the tickets though, they could still have met you in there if they'd arrived in time.

Argh “…devastated to MISS …” not kiss. I really should proof read.

For me the money is not as bad as the fact that they watched your children cry with disappointment over something they had been looking forward to all weekend, knowing full well that it was entirely their fault. Fast forward 3 years, I am sure they would not shrug and put it down to one of those things had it been their pfb who missed something due to someone else being an arsehole. They were totally out of order

fatgalslim I know op got the money back, I was just meaning that if they had to wait to get the money back for a bit but luckily not the case here

I'm not usually at all petty, but I think next year ask them again to the same event, say you will book it and get their money up front . Pretend to book tickets, but then on 'the day' oh dear your car broke down, you're running late/kids sick oh never mind. Then just by tickets for you another day and have fun 😬 is that too evil?

They have the money back.

There are now going to be pages of posters suggesting ways to ask back for the money they already have gotten back, isn't there?

And...my pages only half loaded so I didn't see you actually got your money back now. 👍

I would flat out tell them they are repaying me otherwise take it up with the bank

@mam0918

But they have repaid her.

No need to take anything up with the bank (it's nothing to do with the bank anyway).

If someone owes me some money and hasn't repaid it, what do you actually think a bank would do about this?

If they had any decency in them then you wouldn't even need to ask. If I were them I'd have been falling over myself to apologise and giving you the money back. How embarrassing for them to have acted the way they did.