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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

496 replies

0verth1inker · 26/11/2021 12:10

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

OP posts:
OzBoy · 27/11/2021 17:36

They are SO in the wrong, genuine friends woul be mortified and would be eager to make amends.

Look closely at the friendship, because their attitude on this is a small pointer. Have there been any other similarish instances?

Some people eh?

CountToTen · 27/11/2021 17:37

Depends if you want to stay friends... I understand why you'd be angry but these things happen. I'd be inclined to just put it behind you unless there was a pattern of being flakey

LovelyIssues · 27/11/2021 17:38

Yanbu OP. I would be fuming too! I would say that the DC were so disappointed and so are you after spending so much money and travelling so far and say either she needs to sort a refund from the company or reimburse you herself. Shocking behaviour

BettyJDavies · 27/11/2021 17:38

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.

Cheeseandlobster · 27/11/2021 17:45

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.
Have you actually read the thread? About how the dc's had been looking forward to it all weekend and were crying with disappointment. About how it was entirely due to these friends that it was missed and they would not send the tickets on when it was clear they were definitely late. Also £62 may not be a lot of money to you but it is to a lot of people. A few years ago I was on the bones of my arse and that was nearly my entire budget for Ds's Christmas presents.
godmum56 · 27/11/2021 17:45

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.
well I don't know about you but that's a considerable part of my budget!
tommyhoundmum · 27/11/2021 17:46

I would ask them for your tickets and write to the company explaining the situation and ask them to review their position as it's Christmas.

DroopyClematis · 27/11/2021 17:48

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.
Bloody hell!
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/11/2021 17:48

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.
Hello OP's friends Grin
scotvic · 27/11/2021 17:48

If it were just £20 or so maybe let it go, but £62 is a lot of money! I'd send them my bank details and just ask politely and in a matter of fact way for them to deposit the money back please asap as you are going to have to rebook a new visit as your kids were so disappointed.
And yes, stepping back from the friendship somewhat for a while may not be a bad thing. They need to figure out that the world doesn't revolve completely around their new baby....

Fallon10 · 27/11/2021 17:51

I'm sorry why are people so concerned about you valuing the friendship and possibly losing it? If they are your friends and the friendship is worth valuing you asking again and more firmly for your cash back will not cause any issue as they will give you your money back because of said friendship. As someone who has a friend who is flakey and late and messes me around sort it now and not years down the line as there won't be any friendship left.

Pemba · 27/11/2021 17:52

RTFT. She has the money back and has rebooked for her own family. However no apology seems to be forthcoming from the flakey friends!

Fallon10 · 27/11/2021 17:52

Hahahah please. What a silly thing to say.

Suzanne999 · 27/11/2021 17:54

They were totally, 100% unreasonable and selfish. You were on time, they were late and they had the facility to forward the tickets to you.
Yes they should refund you immediately and if they don’t they’re not decent friends.

DinaofCloud9 · 27/11/2021 17:58

They are really cheeky. They should have sent the tickets immediately so your children didn't miss out. Obviously their child is more important.

chaosmaker · 27/11/2021 17:58

Glad they reimbursed you, just a shame that they didn't think about your children being upset. If you hadn't sent the text and it was sorted, I'd have suggested you text them asking how it would have felt to their child had the roles been reversed :)

ludocris · 27/11/2021 18:00

I could feel my hackles rising until I saw they'd reimbursed you. They should have offered to do it immediately, but at least now you can rebook. Still a really annoying incident though, and it would make me think twice before planning anything with them again.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 27/11/2021 18:01

Although I'd be livid too £62 sounds like a hell of a lot of money for a short slot walking through some lights. Ridiculous. I'd rather buy my DS a nice present.
I certainly could not have afforded that when DS was small - its different now.

Plumbuddle · 27/11/2021 18:06

The one thing that really gets me about this behaviour (as I understand op has been refunded though not rtft) is the refusal for forward the tix to u when on their way. Depending on what these people meant to me I might not necessarily dump the friendship but I would take two things away from this. One, I would never ever socialise as two families with them. They will never take your kids' happiness into account the way proper friends do. So it's not worth building up that family bond with this family as it will never really be mutual. Two, I would always in future buy my tix separately for all functions with all friends, or ensure each group had their own tix in advance. These situations with tix and separated groups happen a lot in my experience.

ludocris · 27/11/2021 18:08

Yes I would always forward the tickets immediately in this situation

pmama · 27/11/2021 18:09

Ask for the money - they did not care about your children and their disappointment. They could have avoid the situation with sharing the ticket with you. It is just about forwarding an email... or a ticket number, but they just simply did not think that it is important enough. Forget about them

Pipsquiggle · 27/11/2021 18:10

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.
Are you a troll or clueless?
LadyWithLapdog · 27/11/2021 18:15

I don’t think any place will revise their policy on “no ticket, no entry” because it’s Xmas. The friends have also found out that having a baby isn’t carte Blanche to do whatever you want. I’m sorry for the OP’s children who were actually old enough to understand a big and get excited, and then disappointed and tired. More so than a baby.

I say this as someone who really struggled with coping with a baby and timekeeping but, my god, is have been mortified and made amends ASAP.

Bebethany · 27/11/2021 18:15

@ 0verth1inker have you even seen the tickets?

starlight13 · 27/11/2021 18:20

I'd be furious aswell. £62 down the drain! They obviously don't respect you much if they wouldn't give you YOUR tickets.
I wouldn't put this behind you, I'd put your 'friends' behind you.

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