To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

YANBU would be the end of the friendship for me - keep the money but I wouldn't be seeing them again.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

If they had any decency in them then you wouldn't even need to ask. If I were them I'd have been falling over myself to apologise and giving you the money back. How embarrassing for them to have acted the way they did.

Exactly!

They are CF not friends. Small claims the fuckers if they don't cough up, the "friendship" is doomed now anyway.

Cheeky bastards.

If I was them I’d be embarrassed beyond words and would transfer you the money immediately.

@HyacynthBucket

Starray and Bumpsadaisie Me too. Its hard to believe that people can be so self absorbed and inconsiderate to even think that "Its just one of those things" when it is their fault. DP and I booked a stay in my cousin's holiday home abroad that he let to family and friends. We arrived after a four flight and taxi journey to the address, but could not get in. Eventually a man came to the door - he had been staying for a week with his wife, and they should have gone home earlier in the day. But they missed their flight and came back to the house, although it was booked for us by then. He refused to leave and wouldn't let us in, and said "Its just one of those things". It was just so unbelievable that he thought he could stay on in the house because they had got to the airport too late. We lost a day of our holiday and a night's sleep because of it.

You are very far from BU, OP. I hope this all works out for you and your DC and you enjoy the lights soon.

What on earth? I'd have actually dragged the wife out by her hair.

Glad you have got your money back and hope you can still book for next week. I always send people e tickets, especially if it is timed entry. Even if they had set out on time, something else could have happened, like traffic problems, which might have delayed them.

I can't imagine needing to be asked to repay the money though

@HomeSliceKnowsBest

They are CF not friends. Small claims the fuckers if they don't cough up, the "friendship" is doomed now anyway.

RTFT

Nobody needs to go to small claims.

OP has had the money refunded.

Op, I am glad you have got the money back. They were wrong in not forwarding the ticket to you when they realised they were going to be late. For that reason I think they were right to pay you the money.

@Jacketpotato84

Are you sure the tickets were the amount they were and they wernt trying it on to get in without you hoping you would bail, turn round and say weve missed it now and go home therefore they could use your tickets? Seems a little sus they couldn't just send them over to you it's pretty easy to do with smart phones! Nah not buying it. I would ask for the money back If they don't then the friendship would break down because of their disrespect for me my time, and money.

And I thought I was cynical!

They have the money back!

The worst thing about this whole story is that they twice completely refused your reasonable request for them to send your tickets through! They let you make a very long journey with upset DC and ignored your own needs for their selfish ones.
Good friends wouldn't have done this.

People who think the whole world needs to pause for their baby are very tedious. I understand being held up for feeding, but it was petty of them to expect you to wait when you were already there.

If you want to keep the friendship, just have them earmarked as "flakey". Don't trust them with anything where timing is important.

£62 and they didn’t send the tickets?
It’s not a tenner is it?! I’d ask for money back saying you want to rebook. Say your kids are really upset (lay on the guilt).

Glad you got your money back and enjoy the lights!

They are CFs!

@rseholery at it's PFB finest.
Why couldn't the mother have fed the PFB in the car? No excuses . I'd have been fuming as well! So selfish.
You definitely need a refund, or re-booked tickets.

Hurrah! didn't read before posting that you'd got your money back. Well done!

READ
THE
THREAD
THEY
GOT
THE
MONEY
BACK
FFS!!

At least they refunded the cost of the tickets, but they don’t sound very apologetic for screwing up the evening, and such a long journey as well.

It's all resolved now obviously but if this was me I couldn't resist making a dig down the line when they are in the thick of the hard toddler years with : "Yes, the toddler years are very hard aren't they? I remember when mine cried so hard because they were made to sit in a car for two hours, with the promise of a treat that didn't happen"

It's not big, but I couldn't resist it

@0verth1inker

I’ve had a reply! ‘Money should be with you’ which sure enough it is. It’s a v short message with no xxx’s which is unusual so I think they are annoyed but 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’ve rebooked for mid week next week. They can definitely afford it (combined income >110k even with mat pay) so I don’t feel too bad.

Well done OP.

Ridiculous & insulting of hem to claim "just one of those things" & try to keep your cash!

It wasn't a thing that happened. It was a series of choices which actively prevented you from attending the event which you'd sent them money for - especially the nonsense about actually being able to send you the e-tickets, but not doing so.

YANBU. This would put me right off them. Self centered and made you all wait for nothing. Good friends don't do that.

Don’t worry if they are on MN and have read this thread. They’ll see how much they upset your children and that’s a huge thing to have to realise and sometimes people need to see they are wrong and then the friendship can move forward.

I wouldnt want to be friends with people like that, they sound horrible. Not just for refusing to give you money back but also because they were quite happy for your dc to have to wait bored and upset because they didn't want to inconvenience themselves.

Id throw away the friendship over this and id tell them why

How much do you value the friendship? I think if you continue to ask for the money back they will feel you are being unreasonable. One of you is going to end up.feeling aggrieved.! Clearly they can’t see they are in the wrong and should have either woken baby up, fed, and got in the car OR let you know they were late leaving and sent you your tickets.

I think it’s a no win situation.

Oops should have read the updates.

@0verth1inker

Oh god *@Jibberjabberhutt* I didn’t really think of that! Don’t think they use mumsnet…but hopefully it as I’ve written the text messages word for word .

I hope they see it and recognise themselves for the selfish, obstructive flakes that they are.

And changes their terrible ways. is my totally proportionate response