To think she should replace my son’s bike

[Ofcrapface]

So I have a cousin I was very close with growing up. She has had a few issues and has hurt me in the past but she was like my older sister growing up so I’ve forgiven her when she hasn’t even asked for forgiveness. I don’t know if this is clouding my view but yeah.

My cousin recently moved nearby with a massive garden, I live in a flat. My little boy loves bikes and had a new one for his birthday. I went to her house one day for a bbq and took his bike so he could play with his cousins. We left and forgot the bike, I asked her to put it in the shed so I could come and grab it. I asked her a few times if I could come round with the intention to pick up his bike. She was always busy, some time went on and I admit I forgot it was there.

I recently went round to her house for a celebration and I noticed the handles were missing off the bike. She never ever ever disciplines her children no exaggeration so I can imagine her child broke it and that was that. I never said anything at the time as didn’t want to ruin the celebration. Now I’m thinking to ask her what happened and can she please replace the bike?
BTW my son is only 1 so it’s a balance bike

@Ofcrapface

So he has a loads of wheely type things, a ride on, a pushchair etc. So I did leave it there for probably about 2 months. It’s a balance bike.

It’s not that he went without for so long at all. I agree I need boundaries and need to stand up for myself.

Honestly I don't see anything here about her overstepping your boundaries. You left something at her house. She asked you multiple time to collect it and you forgot and now you are upset with her for not being more considerate of your possession when you didn't consider your own possessions. Her house can't be that far away with your son rode his balance bike there to start with.

So you abandoned a much loved bike there for 2 months and now you want her to pay for a replacement?

@Bluntness100

Bit surprised by a one year old being able to play with their cousins on a balance bike, that’s quite advanced really.

Yy I found that odd too. A 1-yr-old wouldn't have been able to play on the balance bike we had. I assume OP must have meant something different.

I didnt realise 1 year old used balance bikes.

Are you sure the issue is the bike, and not the fact thst you have issues with your cousin and this situation has just resurfaced that? Because I can't see it being a much loved item by a 1 year old, especially when you didn't see it as important enough to pick up much much sooner.

Just text her and say ‘are you home?’ ‘Yes’ ‘bloody hell I completely forgot about the bike! I’m coming round right now to get it before I forget again, x has been asking for a ride’ and go round there, see it’s in a state and ask her what she’s going to do about it.

@WheelieBinPrincess

He loved his bike so much you just left it there until you forgot about it?

This. Also, if the bike is for a 1 yo, he will grow out of it pretty quickly - how long have you left it there?

This is entirely on you! You left your son's bike laying around her garden for two months! It is not up to her to police your son's items that you leave laying around! If it was important to you/your son, you should have looked after it properly in your own home.

I would pop round for a cuppa and say oh whilst I'm here can I grab the bike? When she brings it do a shocked face and hopefully she has common sense and says she will replace.

But it's difficult as you have left it so long now

Yeah I get that I shouldn’t have left it there. But if anyone left anything at my house I wouldn’t let it get ruined etc. Or I would at least say I’m really sorry xyz happened.

I will replace it for him, it wasn’t a much loved toy that he went without, he has cars, ride on bikes and it is a balance bike that he scoots along on.

I don’t know why people are being so harsh to you. I think it was thoughtful of you to not mention at the celebration and I understand with a 1 year old how time can fly!

I would message her and say - we have a play date this weekend I need the bike for. What time today or tomorrow suits for me to pick it up? And go from there

I was with you until you wrote, ".. some time went by..." that tells me you weren't too bothered about it, and left it there for a few months. Of course her kids are going to play with it, also rain would have rusted it. I would have collected it the very next day. I'd buy him a new one for Xmas and leave the old one there.

What did she say when you picked it up?
You may well say sorry and apologise and explain.

But you haven't even given her a chance to

I don't think this has anything to do with you needing stronger boundaries. Neither you or your cousin seem particularly bothered about looking after things. You left the bike for two months knowing her children were less careful. I'd be annoyed at the damage but I think you would have some front to take issue with her over the damage when you left her with responsibility of looking after it for two months.

I think it would be extremely cheeky to ask her to replace a bike that you forgot about and had cluttering up her house / garden for months on end.

You forgot about it on the day and then forgot about it again for months. So my advice is - forget about it!

It's all very well saying you'd never let that happen to something someone left at your house. But you have a flat with no garden and only a 1yo to keep an eye on. You left this in her garden and forgot about it. Why should she remember to look after it for you?

I can't picture what you mean by the handles being missing, but it doesn't sound like it should require the whole bike replacing anyway. Plus you have lots of ride-ons by the sound of it and he must be growing out of it soon. Chalk it up to experience and look after his things better in future.

That’s a shitty thing, this ain’t about a bike, this is about you not learning your lesson.

Forget the bike, it’s broken now, can you afford to replace it? If so I would do that and distance myself completely from her, not because she let the bike get damaged, but because she sounds more of a pain in the arse than a pleasure.

I'm not sure tat she's even picked up the bike and even knows what happened. It's entirely possible that the handlebar is loose and needs to be fixed back on.

Until she gets the bike dhe won't know what happened

If it's the rubber bits on the handles that are missing, you can usually buy new ones on ebay for a few dollars.

Okay, thanks for everyone’s opinions. It just slipped my mind after a bit. I will just replace his bike my fault

It’s the actual whole handlebar section that came off. I also only saw her kids had no discipline after the fact but I won’t ask her to pay for anything.

Both as bad as each other.

How odd
She’s family
Just have a chat with her about it

He’s 1 and using a balance bike?

And all the info you give about past issues with her, and fact she has a massive garden and you live in a flat

Clearly your issue is about much more than handlebars on a balance bike

To be fair if someone left something at my house for 2 months I'd assume they weren't coming back for it.
If someone was like a sister to me I'd expect her to be able to have an adult conversation about some handlebars.

For everyone saying the child's only 1 - 1 could mean anything up to almost 2. It's really not strange that an almost 2 year old would like a balance bike.

Yesterday a parent said 26 months and got shit for it.

@Ofcrapface

No I left it there. I just spotted it in the garden but then it was time for cake

😂😂😂