To feel utterly depressed and hopeless about the cruel world we live in

[Sosocold]

What is the world coming to? So many cases of child abuse and cruelty - there's so much of it around.
Plus, parents being killed whilst children asleep upstairs, asylum seekers stuck in freezing cold woods for weeks on end, no food or milk for babies. A humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan... I could go on. what World are we living in?! Surely every life is as important as another, but it seems not. Where's the help for these people, what can we do to help?!
Sorry for the depressing rant, I just feel utterly hopeless this morning.

@RedDeadRoach

It's always been like this.

So true. There are just as many sick f*ckers as there have always been.

@Bagelsandbrie I knew that hairdresser had saw abuse I didn't realise it was after the video clip. What a thing to have on your conscious that they could have stepped in.

He could hardly stand that morning and she made him stand for hours. Wtf,😭

What kind of people join in with making a child stand for hours?? I wish they could be prosecuted too.

This thread has been helpful to me in helping me appreciate that most people are good, or at least try to be. I totally understand all the posters who have cried and hugged their children closer at night. You just want to be able to swoop in and rescue the boy.

My mum worked in prisons and told me that, if guilty verdicts are handed down, the two people currently facing trial will have an absolutely miserable time in prison. A nasty part of me thought ‘good’.
This whole case has made me realise I spend too much time on my phone, looking at social media and the news. As precious posters have said, I will try to focus on my own small slice of life, without wanting to sound twee.

Thinking of that little boy, and sending him a prayer. I’m so sorry he experienced what he experienced. Hugs to all of you.

@Afreshstart2021 100% what you said.

[quote Lockdownbear]@Bagelsandbrie I knew that hairdresser had saw abuse I didn't realise it was after the video clip. What a thing to have on your conscious that they could have stepped in.

He could hardly stand that morning and she made him stand for hours. Wtf,😭[/quote]
Exactly.

People who haven’t been closely following the trial won’t understand the timelines or the details of what’s happened but it’s all there in the live trial updates, if people scroll back far enough.

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/live-murder-arthur-labinjo-hughes-21764057

We all need to be more accountable for these things as a society. It’s not good enough for people to turn a blind eye.

I know you shouldn't speculate but I can't help wonder about his mum.
Was she an abuse victim who'd reached the end of her rope. Its not uncommon for women to go from abuser to abuser.

I think the whole case needs a full enquiry, from beginning to end.

Bless him.

@Bagelsandbrie

And I’m sorry I’m going to rant now- but watching that video of how weak and poorly he was there is no way any decent person would have seen that child and not thought something was seriously wrong / called the police / 999 etc. But no, the hairdresser and boyfriend had him in their home half an hour after that video was taken, watching him fall over in their front garden and marched into their house and then made to stand against a wall in their home for 6 hours.

It makes my heart hurt. And yes on various media outlets etc you have people treating the hairdresser and the boyfriend like some sort of Saints because they gave evidence (which let’s face it they had to didn’t they!) and he gave him half a drink of water. Whoopeee do.

The hairdresser told the step mum to install cctv because she’d had issues with social services herself and used it to cover her own back - says all anyone needs to know really. These people have completely different ideas about parenting and what is acceptable. I don’t know how we tackle that but the whole culture needs a shake up.

One of the things the case has absolutely solidified in my mind is that we need a total ban on the physical 'disciplining' of children. No grey areas, no 'it's not my business how they discipline their kids' (as per the attitudes of the hairdresser, her boyfriend and the neighbour). You see it, you report it. Make it that black and white with no scope to rationalise it away.

I would also be in favour of a duty to report such abuse if you witness it, ie when these are people known to you and so you can provide the authorities with their details (as opposed to a random stranger in the supermarket), with potential legal consequences for failing to act.

I totally understand.

I have tried not to read some of the more upsetting stories recently but I accidentally saw some details of the Arthur case on a very sensational Yahoo headline when I was checking my emails which I really wish I hadn't seen and I cried all night and I'm still wobbly this morning.

I think what a PP said about all you can do is love and look after you own family is true. There's so much horror and cruelty in the world but I do think there is more good. It just doesn't get the publicity.

@littleburn yes, I completely and utterly agree.

I don't believe that any person would have kept quiet if they really, truly had known.

I think there is some sort of psychological phenomenon whereby people simply cannot process the seriousness of what they appear to be witnessing. They don't dismiss it on purpose, they just can't believe that what they're seeing or hearing could indicate something quite as horrendous as it is. They figure they don't know the full story, or it looks worse than it is, or something.

Possibly it's a coping mechanism, or a survival instinct to keep oneself out of dangerous situations? I don't know. But I cannot believe anyone, if they really truly knew and understood what was going on, wouldn't have raised the alarm.

@DrSbaitso you'd like the hairdresser would have eventually called Social Services. Let it simmer on her mind then call them.
I guess it happens on here a lot someone says they saw xxxx should I report or am I interfereing. Sometimes people need to think stuff through.
I honestly can't think how he managed to stand for so long without crying or collapsing.

I confess I'm not following all the details because it's too distressing.

But I do think there is a psychological phenomenon whereby people put a kind of block on things and can't accept that they are as bad as they seem.

This popped up on my newsfeed at 1am, having gone to bed after falling asleep on the sofa. Didn't watch the video - just the image and the article were disturbing enough. Needles to say didn't sleep much after that, was absolutely distraught by it.
I wish I could believe that most people are inherently good, I really do.

I am normally against capital punishment but this case has really pushed me over the edge. To make that little boy believe no one loved him is just heartbreaking ☹️ He was so loved, just not by those horrible monsters 😡 that’s what gets to me most.

The hair dresser needs prosecuting in my humble opinion. I once reported a safeguarding concern but went about the process the wrong way and got bollocked for it at work (processed it wrong in the sense that I didn’t escalate it to the right people because it was Friday afternoon and everyone was at home and the safeguarding member I escalated it to didn’t want to take responsibility for it). I luckily had the support of my manager and I remember her forlornly telling me “and I wouldn’t be surprised if you never want to raise a safeguarding concern issue again” and I said no I would because if something had happened to that child and I didn’t raise it I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt.

I do not know if it is appropriate posting this, but I wanted to post a reminder about the possibility of people provising foster care - either long term or emergency care. Local authorities will have info and details about how to spply.

I used to work in child protection- in the legal side of things - and the realities for so many children are just awful. Foster caring is so so hard and you have to go through so many hoops, but it might be a viable option for some posters if their lives are able to do so. It's not for me and my family right now as we have a child severely affected by ASD and learning difficulties so we are stretched thin right now. But this may be something to look into for others, so just putting it out there.

I do think a great many children suffered under lockdown, we a 'normal' loving family and we were so aware of the stress our dd and sil were having trying to wfh in a tiny terrace with a 4yo who just wanted their attention - we did break the rules a few times and took our dgs to the park for hours at a time just to help diffuse the stress. Im sure we were not alone in doing this.

I think lockdown was awful for so many for so many reasons. And the whole Covid rules - you only have to look at the horrific Sarah Everard case to see how people took advantage of the whole situation. We must never have more lockdowns.

After following the trial (I can't get his lovely face out of my mind) I am desperately sorry for what that chid had to endure, made to stand for 14 hours the father only achieved 20 mns those monsters deprived the chid of everything, no toys, torn his favourite football shirts, took away his teddy, I heard his cries "nobody loves me, nobody is feeding me" it is heartbreaking and now the trial is suspended as she is entitled to be present at the trial and I believe she is in hospital, she is well looked after but there was no mercy for the child. She is supposed to said to the father "wack him and come and sit with us" the father should have realised at the beginning what a cruel woman she was,no excuse he just put his own gratifications ahead of his child. Really hope they get what they deserved and not any leniency shown.

They are vile- this poor child, so may people would have loved him. They are monsters- they prevented this.
RIP gorgeous boy - so sorry this happened to you x

so many people would have loved him

But didn't. There were ample opportunities for his life to be saved, but people make a virtue of looking the other way in this country.

@PlanktonsComputerWife
That's unfair his Gran and Uncle reported their concerns. Gran was threatened with fine for breaking lockdown. I want to give his mum the benefit of the doubt and think she loved him too.

There's certainly plenty hearts on here breaking for him. The love was there he just didn't know it and people weren't in a position to help.

I agree with this. Some people have no human soul. They are empty vessels.

Sorry that comment was to the poster who said she believes some people are demons

Poor little soul. God knows how many children were suffering similarly through lockdown without the respite of school and the potential to confide in a teacher or have a school meal. Such cruelty. I can't fathom it.