To feel utterly depressed and hopeless about the cruel world we live in

[Sosocold]

What is the world coming to? So many cases of child abuse and cruelty - there's so much of it around.
Plus, parents being killed whilst children asleep upstairs, asylum seekers stuck in freezing cold woods for weeks on end, no food or milk for babies. A humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan... I could go on. what World are we living in?! Surely every life is as important as another, but it seems not. Where's the help for these people, what can we do to help?!
Sorry for the depressing rant, I just feel utterly hopeless this morning.

Ok, typos and denial is not an emotion, but ykwim.

@Lavender24

Most people are NOT terrible. Most people are good people.

@FreeBritnee Most people will happily turn a blind eye and contribute to cruelty if it's convenient to do so.

Sadly, I’ve found this to be very often true. Both men and women gawping at cruelty.

@littleburn

Yes, I agree many, many people have been deeply affected by that particular case. On some of the earlier threads there was talk about what we can do to bring about change. Once the case has ended I think we should revisit that as Mumsnet users. There are a lot of women on this site who can pull together to campaign for change.

What news are you all talking about that has everyone upset? Admittedly I have not watched the news this week (or last!). I guess I have only been holding my breath for the USA murder case of Ahmaud Arbery: May he rest in peace.

I couldn’t sleep thinking about that case. I brought my own little boy to bed, I had an uncontrollable urge to hold him. I was sobbing on and off all night.

This just broke me, I’ve never ever reacted like this to a news story before, but this is... i can’t even describe how I feel.

@EddyF we aren’t allowed to discuss the case on Mumsnet because it’s an ongoing court case, that’s why no one has said the name of the child involved. If you look on the Daily Mail app there’s an article about it about half way down on the first page. 6 year old boy.

You need to learn of ways to deal with this, it may be not reading the news, may be allowing yourself 5 min a day to think/cry about it, may be trying CBT but you can’t let it ruin your life. Like you I work in a role that is pretty traumatic and I’ve learnt I can’t save everyone kid I see, but even if I manage to change one life for the better it’s worth it. But yes I also have days where all I can think about is the kids I work with and how utterly shit their lives are. But then I think about my own life and my own kids and think I owe it to them to try and not let this get me down

Do you think lockdown played a part?

Yes, in multiple ways, moving in at start, hidden from sight, Gran threatened with fine for visiting. SW would probably have taken more notice if a teacher had reported rather than Gran. He would have had more opportunity to talk and a place of safety.

This schools were open for vulnerable children to provide a safe place and some level of support. Government wants a register and checks on Home Educated kids, worry that kids could very easily slip under the radar.

Did reports to SW not increase during lockdown?

@PomRuns

I hope they are offered counselling.

I also wondered about the hairdresser who said she 'wished' she had reported, would you ever get over knowing you hadn't acted?

I think the hairdresser and her boyfriend, and the neighbour should all feel disgusted with themselves. All of them saw the extent of the abuse and did nothing. Absolutely nothing. The hairdresser had the child in her house for two days in a row, facing the wall being hurt and shouted at and did nothing. The boyfriend gave him half a glass of water and then refused to give him more because the step mum said no more. The neighbour heard them shouting at him constantly, swearing at him. Hughes even went to see the neighbour and said if you hear him shouting “don’t kill me” to ignore it. All of these people are the lowest of the low. It makes my blood boil.

And I’m sorry I’m going to rant now- but watching that video of how weak and poorly he was there is no way any decent person would have seen that child and not thought something was seriously wrong / called the police / 999 etc. But no, the hairdresser and boyfriend had him in their home half an hour after that video was taken, watching him fall over in their front garden and marched into their house and then made to stand against a wall in their home for 6 hours.

It makes my heart hurt. And yes on various media outlets etc you have people treating the hairdresser and the boyfriend like some sort of Saints because they gave evidence (which let’s face it they had to didn’t they!) and he gave him half a drink of water. Whoopeee do.

The hairdresser told the step mum to install cctv because she’d had issues with social services herself and used it to cover her own back - says all anyone needs to know really. These people have completely different ideas about parenting and what is acceptable. I don’t know how we tackle that but the whole culture needs a shake up.

The world has always been cruel. It’s just that people didn’t have endless awful news in their faces all the time.

You have to stop watching/listening to/reading it, or at least strictly limit it.

My dh positively wallows in news, and says the awful, depressing stuff doesn’t affect him. It does affect me, so I often take myself to another room and put Classic FM on instead.

I follow an Instagram account called the good news movement. It just posts about the best of humanity.
It's easy to think everyone is awful when you watch regular news, but there's just as many, if not more, people out there doing wonderful things every day, it's just not reported by the MSM.
If you want to watch the news to stay up to date with what's going on in the world, I think it helps to search for good news to balance it out for your own peace of mind.

Im with cushioncovers, i have to close my mind to a lot of news what can we do? I have come to think life is very cruel.

@Bagelsandbrie and didn’t know that. They should never forgive themselves for not acting.

I hope the other two, are miserable every day for the rest of their lives.

I too have a traumatic job and this is one of the worse things I have ever heard.

There is loads of positive stuff happening across the world too, we just don't hear about it as much as the news/ tabloids etc focus on the negative.

Check this out for examples of good news stories; some of it is sure to warm your heart and restore your faith in humanity :)

www.facebook.com/groups/1043372732715180/?ref=share

Omg just saw your update - they were complicit- utterly vile people too. Hairdresser I mean.

This thread is so timely. I too have been feeling completely overwhelmed by all this awfulness. I feel sick about the world my children will experience. It feels like it's all getting scarier and scarier

Do you think lockdown played a part?

Of course it did and there will be many other vulnerable children

Whoops. Many other vulnerable children whose lives became even more pressurised during lockdown. We're only hearing of this because it ended so tragically.

Heartbreaking.
A lesson for all if DC abuse is suspected, make a call.
The sad part is SS probably wouldn't notice with the house being clean, food in the press, they've low standards without evidence.
There are a couple of people around here who are addicts they put drugs first, once house is clean with food life continues.
There has been a lot of DC murdered over lockdown.

Its such a false economy not funding child services better.
Even "minor" abuse as a child can leave you pretty messed up as an adult and not as able to contribute to society as well as you would have with a more normal childhood.

If we looked after the children, mental health, social services, education. Surely as a whole will surely save money? and have a happier more functioning society?
Less crime, less prison, less drugs, less homelessness, arguably less radicalisation as people don't feel so marginalised.

[quote Bagelsandbrie]@EddyF we aren’t allowed to discuss the case on Mumsnet because it’s an ongoing court case, that’s why no one has said the name of the child involved. If you look on the Daily Mail app there’s an article about it about half way down on the first page. 6 year old boy.[/quote]
OK thank you. I will look for it.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

You need to learn of ways to deal with this, it may be not reading the news, may be allowing yourself 5 min a day to think/cry about it, may be trying CBT but you can’t let it ruin your life. Like you I work in a role that is pretty traumatic and I’ve learnt I can’t save everyone kid I see, but even if I manage to change one life for the better it’s worth it. But yes I also have days where all I can think about is the kids I work with and how utterly shit their lives are. But then I think about my own life and my own kids and think I owe it to them to try and not let this get me down

I think this is good advice. It's important for us to acknowledge how awful it is. It's important to be upset and even to cry about it. We need to continue to be affected by cruel and inhumane behaviour and not become desensitised to it or shrug it off as just the way of the world.

But equally we need to find a balance and not let it overwhelm us. Help where we can, learn to accept where we can't.

[quote Bagelsandbrie]@EddyF we aren’t allowed to discuss the case on Mumsnet because it’s an ongoing court case, that’s why no one has said the name of the child involved. If you look on the Daily Mail app there’s an article about it about half way down on the first page. 6 year old boy.[/quote]
I have now read the case (I couldn’t finish it). I understand why everyone feels the way they do. The case will definitely play with your mental. It actually seems unreal and very hard to process; like, how does a human get to that stage to do that to another let alone a child?

I have a theory that there normal humans in this world and there are also demons in human form (but definitely not humans) walking amongst us. You ever looked at a person’s eyes long enough to know something is not right? Totally soulless and devoid of any thing human. They only have the human skin.

@TheKeatingFive

Whoops. Many other vulnerable children whose lives became even more pressurised during lockdown. We're only hearing of this because it ended so tragically.

I believe that too. Being together 24/7 isn't healthy. No society has ever worked like that. Many normally loving parents were stressed out too, between WFH and Home School and in turn taking it out on the kids. And for abusive parents their was no work to go to, kids had no school to escape to either.

Ashamed to admit but I shouted at my kids more than I should have during lockdown. I also under estimated how much kids need other kids.
Things got better in my house 5/6 weeks in, I got furloughed so able to actually see what was going on & the arrival of an Xbox given my eldest a place to 'be' with pals. Not everyone would have been so fortunate.

I feel sad about it too. My heart is breaking and I prayed for his soul last night. I never do that and I'm not particularly religious.