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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fucking hate feeding my one year old

120 replies

cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:22

She's so picky, throws it on the floor, what she will eat one day the next she doesn't. It's such a fucking chore and the food waste is awful. I absolutely hate it.

OP posts:
Tee20x · 23/11/2021 11:30

Yep mealtimes and bath times bore me half to death.

It does improve though - 7/10 now my daughter will eat what I give her without too much cajoling. There was a stage where it was awful - mouth instantly clamped shut and everything would get pushed over the edge of the high chair tray.

clatterclatter · 23/11/2021 11:31

Yep! I may as well put my money straight in the bin.

MindyStClaire · 23/11/2021 11:34

Yup. I think you just have to achieve some zen-like state of acceptance and realise that it's not really a waste of food, it's important that they explore etc. Just offer lots of healthy foods and try not to stress about what they eat.

(Mealtimes are of course zen-like in the StClaire household, and not at all filled with ill-tempered snapping...)

Original poster
cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:38

I'm so fed up of thinking of new things to give her too. What is best to do, try new things and then cave and give her things I know she will eat? Or just think she will eat when she's hungry?

OP posts:
Franca123 · 23/11/2021 11:40

It's soul crushing. Mine is the same.

Kayjay2018 · 23/11/2021 11:41

@cruffin I have no answers, just sympathy as my daughter is a pickle. She loves packed lunch type meals but getting her to eat anything hot is a struggle, the dog loves her as she throws food and he eats it. I'm just persisting with offering and seeing what she thinks of things, it's demoralising though (and she has an amazing throw so it's embarrassing taking her out in public for meals)

BeyondOurReef · 23/11/2021 11:41

@cruffin

I'm so fed up of thinking of new things to give her too. What is best to do, try new things and then cave and give her things I know she will eat? Or just think she will eat when she's hungry?
Somewhere in between? So some elements she’ll eat, some for her to explore.

If she touches it, then that’s something. Lower your expectations and try not to worry too much.

romanroy · 23/11/2021 11:41

Honestly it's a fucking chore. My most hated part of parenting 100%.

I've actually just been in tears, consumed with guilt because my son has only eaten waffles for two days. Mitigating factor is he has noro virus but somehow the rational part of my brain simply cannot win against the emotional side that's telling me I'm a terrible mother.

Original poster
cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:42

I tried to do everything right and followed the how to wean your baby, started with veg blah blah blah. All she wants to eat is cheese and fruit and toast.

OP posts:
MeltedButter · 23/11/2021 11:43

I have found that if I put one thing on my sons tray at a time he doesn't throw it. Like literally one square of bread at a time. If I was to put a sandwich and grapes in one go he just messes with it and it gets chucked on the floor.

Do you think you're in tune with when she wants to eat? Maybe you could try feeding her a little later than you are doing so you know she's hungry.

It's all guess work though isn't it! I can't wait until my son can tell me what he wants.

Original poster
cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:44

@romanroy I've cried too just now out of frustration more than anything.

OP posts:
romanroy · 23/11/2021 11:44

@cruffin

I tried to do everything right and followed the how to wean your baby, started with veg blah blah blah. All she wants to eat is cheese and fruit and toast.
Cheese is excellent for them, ditto fruit and toast is absolutely fine.

Just keep plugging away. It's shite.

romanroy · 23/11/2021 11:45

I can't wait until my son can tell me what he wants.

But then they can refuse, loudly

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 23/11/2021 11:46

Ugh this used to wind me up too and when she got old enough, l used to get her out of her high chair and make her pick it up! Didn't stop the waste but saved me having to clear it up

Original poster
cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:46

She doesn't eat any veg now

OP posts:
HeyMicky · 23/11/2021 11:47

At one I would give her what you are having, salt and chilli permitting - at least that way you're not having to do extra thinking or preparation.

Eat together. You choose what to serve, she chooses what to eat. Include one safe food with every meal and give a multivitamin.

I highly recommended Kids Eat in Colour on Instagram - she's a dietician who specialises in children with picky eating. She's very realistic about stuff and what you need to do to just get through sometimes.

Original poster
cruffin · 23/11/2021 11:49

@HeyMicky doesn't always work because she won't have anything off a spoon so I have to do finger foods

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 23/11/2021 11:50

So give her cheese and fruit and toast Smile.

Maybe a dollop / selection of something you've made for yourself anyway (no special kid cooking) on the side.

Honestly it's the one thing I would change about my parenting if I had my time again. 3 times a day, every single fucking day is a LOT of angst I could have got rid of in one single decision.

KatieKat88 · 23/11/2021 11:51

I go with something that DD's guaranteed to eat alongside something new for her to try. At least something will get eaten! I also give her a spoon and fork so she can practise using them and that can get her more interested in the boring bits (like veg). Lots of praise for good scooping and stabbing (in a food context only Grin) so I'm not praising her eating but exploring the right actions if that makes sense.

EverdeRose · 23/11/2021 11:51

Just give her what your having along with one thing you know she'll eat.
Do small amounts and top up as she eats it so she's not overwhelmed with large amounts.

Don't look at food intake over a meal time. Look at food over 48 hours. If she's having a good amount of milk I wouldn't be too concerned.

LittleLottieChaos · 23/11/2021 11:53

I still hate trying to feed my 3 year old… it is an ever losing battle. They just get worse.

Scrunchies · 23/11/2021 11:53

Just solidarity. I fucking hate it too and mines a nightmare. I tried to do all the right things, put in so much effort making elaborate foods, tried BLW too and that didn’t work, fucking trout risotto anyone? And she’s a nightmare. I’m angry and embarrassed and dread every meal.

KatieKat88 · 23/11/2021 11:53

If she doesn't like spoon feeding just let her have the spoon herself and accept that everything bar soup can be finger food (but oh god the mess Grin)

FusionChefGeoff · 23/11/2021 11:53

She can dip fingers in sauces / smear stuff in the toast / pitta / wrap etc doesn't have to use a spoon. Mine ended up very good at the 'grab and smush into mouth' technique on basically anything apart from soup.

Seriously, she's not going to eat the veg / lovingly prepared stuff so just accept it and you'll be so much more relaxed and happy.

DeepaBeesKit · 23/11/2021 11:54

I totally get it op my DD is a crap eater.

As she's got older I've realised she has a tiny appetite.

My top tips:

  • one new thing on plate but always a bit of something she likes. Eg if she likes pasta and cheese, offer that but add one piece of broccoli to the plate.
  • accept that it's a long game, for a while that broccoli isn't going to get touched but one day she will just eat it.
  • if like me you hate the waste, serve very very small quantities and only offer more if it's gone.
  • if you have a child with a small appetite you HAVE to offer more regular meals.im not keen on children grazing constantly but have had to accept that my daughter needs 5 opportunities to eat per day or she just won't eat enough.
  • are you offering a multivitamin? Unless you think she's actually deficient, you could chat to gp/hv/dietician about whether it's ok to try stopping it or only giving it occasionally. I find my daughter starts eating more fruit and veg when we don't give vitamins.... it's like she knows she is getting what she needs already so her body doesnt crave them nutritionally.