To fucking hate feeding my one year old

[cruffin]

She's so picky, throws it on the floor, what she will eat one day the next she doesn't. It's such a fucking chore and the food waste is awful. I absolutely hate it.

@DeepaBeesKit oooh I love that theory about vitamins / desire to eat veg!!

I'd recommend getting the Tickle Fingers cookbook.

It's a recipe book aimed at 1-4 year olds that includes lots of good advice on doing cooking with them without it becoming a messy nightmare.

Even in fussy phases, mine would always eat some of what they'd prepared.

Even if that means one meal a week that isn't inhumanly frustrating that'd be an improvement. And using this principles helped me get mine involved in general meal prep.

Nothing wrong with cheese, fruit and toast! DD used to be like this and it's only just got better and she's approaching 2, I always tried to give her something I know she'll eat as well as a couple of other things that she's previously rejected or spat out. Weaning is bloody hard

Eating at 1 was breeze with dc2; its age 2 that is driving me crazy! My previous fantastic eater has morphed into a tantruming fussy little dictator who rejects pretty much all decent meals and grazes on picnic food. I'm telling myself it's his back molars to blame but he can sharp knock back and crunch on biscuits, chocolate etc!

Anything's a finger food!  Let her get on with it

Agee with @DeepaBeesKit that you might need a regular schedule for meals and snacks. Partly for you, too, so you know if she doesn't eat at one there another opportunity coming up

Mine is a bit older and is the same. Really picky and has started to refuse vegetables.
Except at nursery where he eats everything with no fuss at all.

Cheese and fruit and toast is fine.

Leave meals until she’s actually hungry. Don’t give snacks.
Give her a little bit of whatever you are having for your meal. Don’t make anything different.

And repeat. There’s no need for stress, extra preparation and waste.

Yup!
Planning on not stressing myself out like this with number 3.
They’ll get the same as what we’re eating, if they don’t want to eat it that’s their choice. I think when we feel guilty and give them something else to eat is part of the issue too so I’m going to try and not do that.

Don’t pressure yourself op, you don’t have to always offer something new, weaning feels a bit competitive but the only person you’re competing with is your inner strength and the expectations are waaaay too high.

@LittleLottieChaos

I still hate trying to feed my 3 year old… it is an ever losing battle. They just get worse.

They do so get worse! It's so annoying

Oh it also make no difference on what he does and doesn't like as he could just not fancy it on a given day! There is literally no remedy for mine other than to wait this awful phase out.

Sympathy and all fellow feeling from here.

It does feel like rejection of love - and wasted food -and failure to do a fundamental party of parenting...

It isn't- of course. We just set the goals so high.

They are little survivors.

-I came to count rubbing in hair or skin as nutrition and a success.
-my contrary non-eaters only wanted things forbidden. Their dinner usually began on my plate.
-pelican bibs are great. Apparently carrot/chicken mush is better cold and scooped up with rejected custard.

You are a good parent. Caring so much is HARD.

It's reassuring to know I'm not alone. It feels like nobody really talks about the challenges of weaning, I know toddlers 2/3 years tend to go through fussy stages but I wasn't expecting it to be so hard so early.

Anyone have a one that is intent on feeding you and doesn't want to eat themselves? This has become an obsession with dc2, also trying to chair hop and sit on dh's knee to pick and play with food or 'feed daddy.' It is making us dread christmas dinner!

Feel better reading this! I was worried that my little guy (16 months) isn’t eating enough. He enjoys his food, but goes in & off things all the time. Especially at dinner time.
He still has a couple of bottles of formula, so I’m not too worried about vitamins etc... He’s always preferred eating food himself rather than spoons of mush, so hot food is difficult.
I add hummus to everything. He loves it! Or get get out the yoghurt & bananas if he won’t eat much dinner. Don’t get me started on teeth-brushing, though... He just point blank refuses!

@cruffin

She's so picky, throws it on the floor, what she will eat one day the next she doesn't. It's such a fucking chore and the food waste is awful. I absolutely hate it.

They all do this. All of them. It's exhausting.

I would give her cheese and fruit and toast and a little of whatever you’re having so she knows there is more to life. And then yes achieve a zen state of acceptance that you provide the food, she chooses whether to eat it

With dgs I bought a divided tray and put tiny portions of different foods into each division. I also provided a sippy cup of water. I then sat opposite the baby across the table and pretended to read a book.
Nine times out of ten a balanced meal was eaten.

Op if any consolation dc1 was a terrible eater and so fussy and now at 4 is amazing! He eats great and gets stickers at school for eating his lunches and then comes home and polishes off his dinner. This was a baby who wouldnt eat anything even sandwiches and literally ate to survive, he actually now enjoys his food and asks for his meals (so much easier when they can tell you what they fancy and like.)
Dc2 who was the fantastic eater early from 0-18 months is now awful
Maybe you will have a good eater by 2/3!

Oh I'm so with you. My boy is 23 months and is a nightmare with food. Brekkie is fine (ready brek with honey, and either some fruit or a veggie eggy cheesy muffin)-but lunches and dinners are a complete ball ache. The only hot stuff he'll eat are Tesco 10/12 month toddler meals (there are 4 flavours of mush) ellas kitchen pouches or my homemade cheesy butternut squash pasta. He point blank refuses to even try anything else I've made (pasta with tomato sauce, curry etc-all stuff that he'll eat from Tesco/Ella!). Won't eat baked beans (a kid that won't eat beans?!) and as for picky food, he'll eat watermelon and strawberries until he looks like one but a sandwich? Toast? Anything that's not crisps? you'll be damn lucky. Unless you're nanny then he'll eat anything. The nursery key worker even said his relationship with food is "not normal" and something that needs looking at, like I'm not already working my backside off to try and get him to eat!!!

Yesterday he had a single piece of watermelon for lunch and a handful of wotsits grandad gave him. I despair. Seriously concerned he's not getting enough calories and decent nutrition! That f**k for vitamin drops.

So in summary, you are not alone. We love them to the moon and back but weaning is frankly awful and so damn stressful.

Also, prepare yourself.its likely if she is bad now, she may be worse age 2. I thought DD was bad, she's worse now.

Tbf though we see glimmers of hope now. There are foods she used to eat and now doesnt but there are also things she eats now that she didnt used to (broccoli!!)

Over time I did notice that the fussyest of eaters will gobble-up anything that is on the floor - or in the dog-bowl -or floating in a puddle - or in someone else's bag.

The tired mind wandered:
-Is it the serving they object to? (Must try on slate or on log slices or...)
-Is it cleanliness? (Are they hard at work on their infant immune systems and determined that every bite should be teeming with challenging bacteria?)

-Would the 'Pelican-bib cookbook' sell? (Probably only to toddlers.)

Can you give her a range of foods on her tray table and let her pick at what she wants? My 13 mo does throw some on the floor but he will nibble at things and eat more if left with it for a bit longer, then always eats a yoghurt and some fruit after.

It isn't wasted food, it's all a learning experience for them.

Even if she won't take stuff off a spoon, hand her the spoon/fork and what you are eating. Or let her eat it with her hands (I'm Asian so eating with one's hands is less horrendous to me than other people). For DS2 I didn't make any extra food- just the no salt version of whatever we were eating.
But they all go through fussy phases. DS1 was an incredibly fussy child. Now he's 9 and constantly eating. DS2 was an amazing eater. Now he's close to 5 and insanely picky.

@cruffin

I tried to do everything right and followed the how to wean your baby, started with veg blah blah blah. All she wants to eat is cheese and fruit and toast.

At 1, my kid ate everything going. It was a total breeze. At 4 she will eat nothing but cheesy pasta. NOTHING! Getting any veg or fruit in her is like going 10 rounds with Tyson. Every fucking day. It breaks me.

Basically, keep going, in the hope that you have the reverse child of mine and that in a few short years you and she will be living the culinary dream.

Solid Starts is genuinely the answer. I can’t recommend it enough, look at the ‘Picky Eating’ story reel on their Instagram. We did that, stuck to it religiously and now my 16 month has gone from dropping weight to gaining and trying all sorts of food.