To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

Honestly that’s ridiculous. The bar should’ve spoken to you and definitely not been so daft on the night!

Another one for hotel is in the wrong. Absolutely out of order to hand over full bottles in the context of an open bar at a party when the drinker isn’t paying the bill. Hotels are in the business of hospitality and it is not hospitality to run down the bar tab so fast that not everyone gets a proper drink. The bar staff would and should know full well that if full bottles were being given to one or two individuals, there would not be enough drinks to go around.

Surely it is common knowledge that you put certain caveats on these things??
Your friends are cheeky fuckers, not the hotels fault at all!

@Mumontour85

Surely it is common knowledge that you put certain caveats on these things?? Your friends are cheeky fuckers, not the hotels fault at all!

Well yeah but that's usually "don't serve doubles or cocktails". It's not reasonable to have to specify "don't serve whole bottles". I've worked in hospitality and we would check with the host for large purchases on tab

Complain to the hotel. This is upselling in a completely inappropriate way and anyone who works in hospitality knows it.

@Mumontour85 no it’s not typical to have to caveat that you don’t put entire bottles on tab.

What a shower of ungrateful rude b*stards
I’d be putting a social media post out or blanket texting everyone saying : hope whoever was ordering FULL bottles had a good time, you’re no friend of ours
CFrs everywhere…..

@Tippexy

YABU

Why?

• and yea, ideally the hotel bar supervisor should’ve flagged this CF as human courtesy but I suppose they’d get the £1500 fired through pretty quickly and onto MORE sales. Snide AF. I’d be turning up to see the manger /owner

A better idea would have been to have tickets for each guest. Say, 3 tickets = 3 separate drinks under £7 each. Soft drinks x 2 = 1 ticket.
That's what I do. After that you pay for your own.

I'd ask if the hotel have any CCTV of the night esp of the bar area or look to see if anyone has photos if the night put up on Facebook which might show the CFs with full bottles.

@PegasusReturns

Poorly handled by the hotel but your sister was naive: she should have specified what the parameters were, e.g. no wine over £50 per bottle, no spirits, only singles or any combination thereof.

The hotel should have i) advised her to set parameters; ii) absolutely should not have been upselling iii) should have discretely checked in when various thresholds were met to ask if any changes to approach were required.

Depending on number of guests it isn’t a huge tab and the hotel should have been clearer about how long it was likely to last.

the person who ordered the bottles was appallingly behaved. Any idea if it was drunk at the party or they were stashing bottles to take home? I think I’d given them a call to express disappointment.

No wine over £50 per bottle? Who the hell would order wine that expensive on someone else's tab at a wedding of all places?

Sounds like some of the wedding guest were really greedy taking bottles rather than just a glass at the time, surely they must of realised that was taking the p…, especially if the majority didn’t even get one drink because of others greed. Maybe a lesson for all is to put wine on the tables and bottles of beer, so everyone gets a few drinks for free.

I think the hotel is to blame. When I got married people were buying doubles on the tab and after a couple the manager called us over and asked if it was OK. Obviously if you don't know they'll sell it by the bottle you're not to know it may happen!

@Mumontour85

Surely it is common knowledge that you put certain caveats on these things?? Your friends are cheeky fuckers, not the hotels fault at all!

Well it would be common knowledge for the hotel who are actually in the business of running tabs and free bars etc. when their customers ask.

It wouldn't be common knowledge for people in general. It would never have occurred to me that if I paid for a free bar for guests that some people would take the piss and try to get bottles and certainly not that the hotel would actually give it to them!

The hotel should have an event manager who should be experienced enough to have checked if there were any restrictions on the free bar. Your sister could have prompted that but really it is the remit of the venue as it is in their interests for there to be no ambiguity, and thus no recourse for complaint.

A £1500 tab at an average of £5 a drink allows for 300 drinks. It wouldn't take a genius to see that didn't provide for that volume of drinks for any individual. The bar staff may have been inexperienced but there should have been a manager on duty overseeing things, who should have flagged it up.

No contractual obligation though, merely a best practice.

@Niugboo... yes, it can be. I've been to plenty of free bars that had various rules - sometimes simple ones like no shots or doubles, sometimes big (seemingly unnecessary but obviously not!) ones like 'no bottles'.

No bottles definitely shouldn't have to be said to decent people or good bar staff, neither of which were in attendance at this party!

I've also never in my life known of hotels selling spirits by the bottle at events so it would never occur to me to include it in a list of restrictions.

And my family have owned venues hosting events for my entire life!

I know people that might say 'we've been told it would be cheaper to buy a bottle as there's a few of us drinking Xxx, what do you think?', but it is like stealing the way people involved in this post did it.
Yeah the bar staff should have know better, but the fact that OP even has a feeling about who the culprit was, indicates that there are dodgy people in her life and at the party and she defo should have laid out some rules for the venue to follow!

Maybe you're naive for it not crossing your mind, maybe I've been to too many free bars and work events 🤣🥂

How many people were at the party? We had a lot of issues with our wedding venue; honestly I would say that the stress and the pain of complaining isn’t worth it. For us it ruined my memories.

Put it down to experience, take the offenders off future gatherings and Xmas card list!

Wow yes I’d be livid if I was your sister you don’t expect people to be buying bottles just drinks one by one, maybe a double if wanted but I would have no way expected for bar staff to be telling guests “take the bottle” 😳

Damn, man. My partner is from a family of 8 so also absolutely huge with many branches and friends and distant cousins. But I've never heard of anyone getting a bottle from a free bar. Wow. Everyone knows you just get a normal drink and are lucky if you get more than 1 or 2! Shocking.

God that's absolutely disgraceful, your poor sister.
I'd really want to send an email out and name and shame. DH wouldn't want to but i would & I think I'd go ballistic!
The hotel should know full well you don't hand over full bottles in this situation.

I read about this and people wasting drinks as not paying before my wedding so all soft drinks, toast, table wine, beer, hots drinks was free but beyond that people paid. Think that was fare enough as I don't drink didn't at all. We did a full 3 course posh dinner. Still cost me nearly 4k. As fare as o know not many brought their own and enjoyed what was on offer.

The hotel is not to blame. The cf-ers ordering bottles are. Ask for CCTV to get to the bottom. And tell your dsis and husband to kick those people out of their lives.