To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

Suspected Remy Martin CF isn’t even a family member, he’s one of those family friends that has been around years and always tags along on family events.

Someone needs to untag him from events then!

I once shouted a dinner for my team and we met at the restaurant bar half an hour before we sat down. I told the bar staff to add the drinks to the bill. A couple of the younger team members kept leaving the table together while we were eating which I thought was odd. It turned out they were going up to the bar and doing more and more expensive shots every 20 minutes. It added £500 on the bill! Was it the bar staffs fault? Absolutely not!

So you think this is entirely your own fault? How odd.

@HelloDulling

I once shouted a dinner for my team and we met at the restaurant bar half an hour before we sat down. I told the bar staff to add the drinks to the bill. A couple of the younger team members kept leaving the table together while we were eating which I thought was odd. It turned out they were going up to the bar and doing more and more expensive shots every 20 minutes. It added £500 on the bill! Was it the bar staffs fault? Absolutely not!

So you think this is entirely your own fault? How odd.

Definitely not the bar staffs fault

HelloDulling £500 extra from a couple of younger team members at a team meal. What were they downing? Liquid gold?

HelloDulling I would have had some serious words about that. You’d think they’d have known better than to take the piss so badly. Did you say anything?

Isn't it against licensing laws to sell more than a double in one drink? When I did bar work if people ordered triples they got a double and a single and had to pour them in the same glass themselves

To clarify what I meant above if a group ordered 10 double vodkas, instead of putting through 20 shots, many "old school" hotel managers push staff to put this through as a bottle which is 28 shots to account for "wastage". Especially if they don't think the bill will be scrutinized

Were they definitely serving a whole bottle to each person who asked for it? Whether or not they 'rounded up', are you sure they weren't just adding up the single drinks as they went and then, after a bottle's worth had been served, ringing it up as a bottle? Thus everybody was indeed 'thirsty' and likely taking advantage, but it could have been everybody doing it somewhat rather than a few absolutely taking the mick?

It's probably unlikely, but I would have thought that, if they're saying it's cheaper to buy it by the bottle, it's only fair to charge the buyer - the hosts - by the number of bottles sold and not by each individual drink?

Sorry, that was to OP.

Suspected Remy Martin CF is a family friend who has become obnoxiously drunk at previous family events. This would be a good reason to get rid of him, really.

He's no friend.
Get proof that it was him and make sure he's told why he's no friend.
Calling out cuntyf*ckers is the only way.

Grabby people sucked the good out of what was to be a happy and generous celebration.

@MiddayMass does he have a long suffering and embarrassed wife (CFs of this sort often do)?

If so, might be worth asking her if he came home with a random bottle of Remy plus any other spirits. In a way it might be better if you did this as then you can say you are not wanting to involve your sister or embarrass CF wife by going public.

@PassingByAndThoughtIdDropIn

We had a generous but not unlimited tab on the bar at our wedding - the owner nipped over quite early in the evening and said that someone had asked for a glass of vintage malt whisky - he'd been served but was it OK in future because that would run the tab down very quickly? (Mate who'd ordered it was being thoughtless rather than actively cheeky) I had a quick think and said to take the menu with the posh drinks away and stick to the standard beer/wine/spirits. That's the sign of a well run venue IMO.

I don’t buy it it all that your mate was being thoughtless rather than cheeky ordering a glass of vintage, presumably single malt whisky on a free bar tab, sorry.

OP, the guests who used your free tab to buy bottles were CFs.

@Dixiechickonhols

I’ve never been to a party where drinks were included. Certainly wouldn’t have though bottles would be sold. Definitely not in the spirit of things. I have been at a conference where wine and beer were free but not spirits.

The only private (as opposed to work) events I have been to where there was a free bar were funerals. I’ve been to Christmas work (public sector) dos where the table wine was paid for by senior staff, but anything else you had to pay for.

80 % pisstakers fault - that is unbelievable behaviour.
20% hosts fault for not setting rules.
Not hotel's fault at all imo.

@Udouhun

80 % pisstakers fault - that is unbelievable behaviour. 20% hosts fault for not setting rules. Not hotel's fault at all imo.

I disagree, especially as staff were encouraging people to buy bottles as opposed to individual drinks.

Any event venue worth their salt should be asking some basic questions when an event host wants to set up a bar tab/free bar.

A bar manager, or event coordinator, should have enough basic training to know to ask those basic questions of the host and pass the answers on to their staff. Especially since they are the ones with experience of events they should be asking the questions that hosts may not think to ask/clarify as they don't know it is something they should be considering.

I have worked the bar at many hospitality events and we would always be informed that the bar tab limits were XYZ for the event and if anyone asked for something outside of those parameters, or you weren't sure if something was included, then you needed to check with the manager first (and if they didn't know then they would check with the hosts). Unless explicitly allowed upfront, "buying spirits by the bottle" would definitely fall under something that should be checked with the manager/host.

YABU simply because hotel didn’t just stand back and watch it happen. They encouraged it!
Worked in bars for a few years and any good venue would have lost their reputation over this.
Name, shame, make sure everyone knows what they’ve done

Also to add as I was casual staff . we had an event brief and conditions were always covered for free bars. Never had one with no brief at all (unless it was a bar set up elsewhere and what we served was all there was)

This is despicable. If I were your sister, id spread the word that i was very upset

As for the hotel, what on Earth were they thinking/ thats awful

It wouldn’t have occurred to me that people would order full bottles, and I wouldn’t have realised that I needed to specify singles only, no shots without a mixer, etc. The hotel obviously has experience of free bars and CFs, so they should have asked the client if they wanted any restrictions. They certainly shouldn’t have been suggesting that people should take full bottles!

Bit of both here - the hotel shouldn't have allowed full bottles to be bought unless it was the people paying the tab - but the guests ordering full bottles are just as in the wrong - who would do that?!

Why didn't they tell people what the boundaries were. Then this wouldn't happen. Plenty people do not understand what a free bar means. "Assume makes an ass out of u and me" is very true. If that was the case, your sister either needs to grow a pair and challenge the CF. Or put it down to bad planning and shut up. You...

The hotel are at fault in the first instance by not asking if you wanted any restrictions when they were first discussing the arrangements. But then the guests ordering by the bottle really were taking the pee!

Wow, their guests are proper arseholes!

This seems like combination of total CFery and poor policy on the hotel's part. I work in hospitality and whenever people have tabs we always warn them when they're reaching the last 10/20% of it, I'm surprised it wasn't flagged to your sister at the time that the tab was being used up so quickly. We also certainly wouldn't sell people full bottles on a tab unless it had been explicitly okayed by the hosts! Agreed that the guests taking advantage are mostly in the wrong, but the hotel have managed this poorly and I would complain.