AIBU to not understand how people don't learn?

[EdenFlower]

A few weeks ago DH offered to make the mash to go with the dinner I was making. He made it in a non-stick pan using a metal masher- ruined the pan and the mash was grey and full of bits of the non- stick and we had to start again.

This weekend we have been talking about buying some new non-stick pans because at least one of them is now ruined.

Tonight, DH offers to peel the potatoes for the mash. I go into the kitchen and he's put the potatoes into the non-stick pan he ruined a few weeks ago. I say- "errr, don't you remember what happened last time?"
He says, "but I chose that because it's the biggest pan" (it's not)-
I say "but you can't mash in that pan"
He says "yes, but I'll put them in another pan to mash them"

Is there no learning? And where is the logic in that?
He's sulking now because I said "but that's pointless- why not just choose a pan you can cook them in and then mash in afterwards?"

How am I supposed to have patience with this shit? I feel Like I spend my life trunk to teach people stuff which they can't retain- DD is exactly the same- it takes years to learn a simple fact and apply it logically.

I also bought a silicon masher and dumped the metal one

I'd have thrown away the pan if the coating was coming off. Why keep it? Someone will get ill from eating pan flakes.

Does he get huffy about spending money too, when he's not wasting it through stupidity?

My DH has left a mark on our stainless steel hob using a knife to scrape off something that had slightly 'cooked on' (er no - a spray and soak for a minute and it would have come right up), he's used a bread knife on the counter and 'cleaned up' superglue by smearing it around said counter. I'll bet though if in 5-10 years time that I say things are getting tired/tatty and that we need a new kitchen, he'll get angry about it.

Drives me fucking nuts.

@MargosKaftan

I cant get my head round buying both stainless steel pans and non-stick pans (you need to marie kondo your kitchen), but only buying metal utensils. At the point you buy those non-stick pans, why keep utensils that will ruin them? Surely they go together, you buy non-stick pans, you buy plastic utensils as well? It does read like no one in your household is logical/ able to think things through - and you can only see your dh's flaws.

Eh? Why would you need to throw out all metal utensils because you bought a non-stick pan? Unless you are stupid you can't remember not to use the metal things...

When we got non-stick pans it was to add to our existing collection of stainless steel pans. We already had wooden spoons and plastic spoons and spatulas but we have a metal masher and metal things as well. How wasteful to throw out perfectly good metal utensils- it can be used in the metal pans.

I think you need to counter his deliberate strategic incompetence. I'd make him do it over and over again "because you clearly need the practice". And yes, I'd serve him the mash with the bits of non-stick coating too (whilst serving myself something else).

I'd approach it as if he were a toddler. He'd feel the consequences of his deliberate fuck-up Every. Damned. Time.

How wasteful to throw out perfectly good metal utensils- it can be used in the metal pans.

Is there some law against having two potato mashers?

The “why should I” whine is ridiculous over a cheap plastic masher.

I think you need to counter his deliberate strategic incompetence. I'd make him do it over and over again "because you clearly need the practice". And yes, I'd serve him the mash with the bits of non-stick coating too (whilst serving myself something else).

I'd approach it as if he were a toddler. He'd feel the consequences of his deliberate fuck-up Every. Damned. Time.

This is her husband. You would treat your husband like a toddler?

Can you imagine the MN reaction if someone posted “I burned the dinner and my husband served it to me and made me eat it. He said I had done it on purpose and he was going to make me do it over and over again until I get it right”. For certain the response would be LTB. What a horrific way to treat an adult.