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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be jealous of Amanda Owen (Yorkshire Shepherdess)

320 replies

AliceAbsolum · 19/11/2021 19:04

Her life just looks amazing. Yes obviously hard at times and not perfect. But 9 lovely children, she's gorgeous, kind husband, successful career, meaningful job and being able to spend time outdoors with her family. All the animals and space.
What I'd give for that life!

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 20/11/2021 14:23

@knittingaddict

One of my friends is married to a farmer. I haven't seen them since we moved away years ago.

They lived in a rented farmhouse. Sounds lovely doesn't it? The house was small, cold, damp and hard to keep clean because of the stone walls and floor. They ate things lke crow pie for lunch. I think people like moonbabby have a completely distorted view about the hard graft end of farming. For the vast majority it's a difficult life with few rewards. As for organising your own time? Is that a joke?

Crow pie?
derxa · 20/11/2021 14:23

I'd take it compared to living on well under twenty grand in a mould infested, unheated flat on a crappy estate. You wouldn't know where to start

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 20/11/2021 15:15

@Moonbabby

I'd take it compared to living on well under twenty grand in a mould infested, unheated flat on a crappy estate.

Exactly.

Lots of UK farmers and their families live below the poverty line in unsuitable housing. It’s no less shit, just a different flavour

It’s much less shit.

When you break that £20k down to an hourly rate is absolutely shit. Relentlessly long days, 7 day weeks, 365 days a year.

Many don’t leave and ‘work in lidl’ because farming is all they’ve ever known, not wanting to be the generation that gives up on the family farm even though it is crumbling to bits and they are living hand to mouth. Entire communities rely on farming. Hell, the entire country relies on farmers! Someone needs to stay and grow the fruit, veg, cereals, meat and dairy to go into the supermarkets…

2bazookas · 20/11/2021 15:27

@DalesLass

NC for this.

Hate to break it to you but she is strongly disliked by us locals. Attention seeking and contrived … and not a particularly attentive mother (which is putting it kindly).

Whatever her style of parenting, it appears to be highly successful.

Eldest Raven (despite MN sneers at "having to" care for the younger sib), left school with enough exam qualifications to pursue her chosen science degree at university and graduate. She is clever, intelligent, beautiful, domestically competent, obviously loves and is very caring to the smaller sibs.
The second, has a job, an excellent engineering apprenticeship and side business of his own and a lovely relationship with younger sibs.

The entire brood are physically healthy and active, emotionally attached, socially confident, engaged and encouraged in numerous interests and skills and attending school regularly . What more could any parent hope for their children?

Plenty of parents here could take an object lesson from the Owens in how to rear children. Watch them eagerly tuck in to good food; lots of fresh air and excercise; given appropriate tasks , encouraged to take responsibility for pets /each other, praised for their efforts, listened to, talked to. They can swim, skate,.walk for miles, ride a bike, ride a horse, use tools, cook, drive, care for animals; all good confidence building skills for adult life.

ANY teacher used to dealing with multiple kids can detect that those lively kids are entirely natural , unspoiled, at ease with each other and their parents. You can't fake or script those behaviours.

WhatHoMarjorie · 20/11/2021 15:29

I never knew this family attracted such ardent superfans.

Kikkomam · 20/11/2021 15:33

Plenty of parents here could take an object lesson from the Owens in how to rear children. Watch them eagerly tuck in to good food; lots of fresh air and excercise; given appropriate tasks , encouraged to take responsibility for pets /each other, praised for their efforts, listened to, talked to. They can swim, skate,.walk for miles, ride a bike, ride a horse, use tools, cook, drive, care for animals; all good confidence building skills for adult life

More ammo for my cynical friend.

Vates · 20/11/2021 15:37

9 children, a husband and being in the middle of nowhere on a farm sounds like what I will be forced to live in hell. I think she looks incredible and strong for having birthed and now raising 9 children! Never watched the program but have seen clips and media articles. It was definitely in the media about trouble in the marriage.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 20/11/2021 15:39

Do you not understand that you are being presented with a carefully honed story, @2bazookas? Maybe the family really is as presented, but you have no way of knowing. Reality TV is not reality.

As PPs have said, many people's lives could be edited to look idyllic, when they are anything but.

Moonbabby · 20/11/2021 15:41

Relentlessly long days, 7 day weeks, 365 days a year.

Fine. Farming is a dreadful life, full of backbreaking toil, pitifully scratching a living and surviving by eating ‘crow pies’(?), working 25 hours a day for tuppence an hour, but heroically crawling forwards on you belly to feed the ungrateful masses. We should all bow down and worship the noble selfless beings who have taken on this abhorrent task.

Or…..

Farming is an intense lifestyle, with periods of hard, long hours, but also periods of quiet. In usually beautiful and peaceful surroundings, no gangs or knife crime, usually mortgage free (or rent-paying in which case you can be almost tax free). With generous subsidies and grants available to support food production. With the freedom to have lunch when you choose, look at your phone, have a cuppa, ring your mate. The satisfaction of running your own business.

There a pros and cons as with any life but this constant moaning and whining will be our undoing. We are bloody lucky. Really bloody lucky. Lockdown highlighted that.

And anyone working relentlessly every hour all year needs to look at their time management.
Seriously. Do the industry a favour and stop whining!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 20/11/2021 16:26

@BalladOfBarryAndFreda

I wasn’t wild about them letting their younger dog impregnate their 10yr old bitch either. Unsurprisingly, that pup was stillborn.
I know absolutely nothing and farming or dogs but even I raised an eyebrow at that Confused
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 20/11/2021 16:32

I'm not sure what's wrong with looking after younger siblings, it's a good thing in the main.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 20/11/2021 16:35

@derxa

I'd take it compared to living on well under twenty grand in a mould infested, unheated flat on a crappy estate. You wouldn't know where to start
No, mine was more into horses and associated business rather than actual farming before my mother decided that a landscape of concrete and dogshit was the life her future children were going to have. And DP's were only mere sheep farmers on dartmoor. I wouldn't have a scooby.
BoredZelda · 20/11/2021 17:01

she says herself that she left her newborn in SCBU and didn't visit it for over a week as she didn't see the point

Unless you’ve had a baby in SCBU, particularly if you have many other children at home, this is t for you to judge.

In fact, even if you have, everyone deals with that situation in different ways. I worked with hundreds of mums in this situation and was one myself. Some stayed glued to the incubator for as long as they could, others visited when they could, some didn’t go for days. None of them were wrong.

WeeTattieBogle · 20/11/2021 17:06

@2bazookas

Well said.

2bazookas · 20/11/2021 17:13

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Do you not understand that you are being presented with a carefully honed story, *@2bazookas*? Maybe the family really is as presented, but you have no way of knowing. Reality TV is not reality.

As PPs have said, many people's lives could be edited to look idyllic, when they are anything but.

DH started his BBC career as a film editor. Watching TV with him,. is accompanied by a private technical commentary :-) I am probably more aware of editing and continuity than most TV viewers.
Malibuismysecrethome · 20/11/2021 17:16

BoredZelda I have had experience of SCBU and I will judge if I like thank you, I don’t need your permission

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 20/11/2021 17:40

Her children don't go to school, do they? Not for me. Children need GCSEs!

What an ignorant comment! Besides the fact that her kids DO go to school, one of my DC doesn't, and he's already got 3 GCSEs and he's 14 🤣

EdenFlower · 20/11/2021 17:44

I guess we will have to wait for Raven to write a book- that will be interesting...

Bichette · 20/11/2021 17:45

The Strawbridge family in their french chateau have quite an enviable lifestyle imo. Dick and Angel have a similar age gap but seem more compatible and definitely more affectionate than Clive and Amanda.
They have also exploited their lifestyle for financial gain but seem genuinely content even if it's all highly edited.

EdenFlower · 20/11/2021 17:49

Locals disliking her doesn't really say a lot. She is a Dales incomer, has made a lot of money and a name for herself in the media, and she is not your typical sheep farmer. They were bound not to like her!

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 20/11/2021 17:52

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I'm not sure what's wrong with looking after younger siblings, it's a good thing in the main.
The threads on here about growing up in large families suggest that many of the kids who have to do it disagree. It's one thing keeping an eye on a younger sib for an hour while your parents are cooking. It's another having 7 or 8 sibs and parents who are continuously busy on a farm.

Having childcare responsibilities is a choice for adults, and we still often find it hard. It shouldn't be foisted onto children because the parents have had more kids than they can personally handle.

AuntMasha · 20/11/2021 17:58

@EdenFlower

Locals disliking her doesn't really say a lot. She is a Dales incomer, has made a lot of money and a name for herself in the media, and she is not your typical sheep farmer. They were bound not to like her!
I watch and enjoy the programme. I had a similar upbringing though my parents weren’t farmers. They were incomers like Amanda though and the locals were extremely unpleasant and hostile towards us, including encouraging their children to bully us. So I agree — the fact that some locals don’t like her doesn’t necessarily mean much, imho.
thedarkling · 20/11/2021 18:00

I got as far as nine children! Fuck that.

Although I did read that she was pretty awful to her stepdaughter (in her stepdaughter's opinions.) Seems like lots of family problems behind the tv facade.

WinterFirTree · 20/11/2021 18:01

@Bichette

The Strawbridge family in their french chateau have quite an enviable lifestyle imo. Dick and Angel have a similar age gap but seem more compatible and definitely more affectionate than Clive and Amanda. They have also exploited their lifestyle for financial gain but seem genuinely content even if it's all highly edited.
I adore escape to the Chateau. But every time I become too envious i recall just how hard they work and how unlikely it is they ever have the time to go on holiday.
MoomaidAhoy · 20/11/2021 18:13

I think they’re a lovely family. Amanda does seem a bit cold, but I often watch Clive’s interactions with the children and think how natural and encouraging and loving he is.

The children all seem happy and busy. As a mother, I really don’t think that level of secure attachment and happy behaviour can be faked.

I’d be really sad for the children if their parents did separate. One of the great joys of not reading tabloids is that I have no idea about that (other than what I’ve read on this thread).

I think pp have made a valid point about health and safety - I have been a bit alarmed at seeing so many children on quad bikes without helmets. But there we are. I’m nit a farmer and none of them seem to have been harmed so far!

I love seeing the happy and loving relationship between the children. I love seeing how they help each other out. They have admitted to fighting sometimes, it all seems quite normal to me.