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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in being upset (pissed off) with parents who bring their obviuosly sick children to the nursery?

391 replies

QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 14/12/2007 17:47

Shouldnt a child that is coughing his guts out be home? Or with rosy red feverish cheeks? Why do some parents think it is ok to lumber nursery staff with children so ill they need carrying around all the time? Why do they think it ok to keep passing on the germs to other peoples children?

OP posts:
WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:20

Sorry, have only read the title but understand that nurseries have a lot more children than CM's.

Katymac · 15/12/2007 22:21

I phoned a parent because her child had thrown up - she insisted on finishing her shift & turned up over 3 hrs later. She was met with a very poorly child, and a letter giving her 4 weeks notice;I then spent the following weekend throwing up myself

Another time I phoned a mum to say her child had thrown up - she said 'Oh I know - she was being sick all last night' & when I asked her to come & collect her - arrived 20 mins later & took her home - I was very angry (& I think she realised it). We had to close 2 days later because 5 out of sick staff were throwing up - so it caused 8 families to lose their child care

Plus we lost money - because if we can't open we can't expect people to pay - on top of 2 miserable days (x 5 people)

Katymac · 15/12/2007 22:22

Duh "five out of six"

WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:22

If I said 'employ', I can guarantee that 1000 childminders would come down on me like a sack of potatoes!

mumzyof2 · 15/12/2007 22:23

DaphneHarvey, it was just a statement, no need to get wound up!
Theres been a hell of a lot of talk on here about children with colds, I though I would just point it out!

whispywhisp · 15/12/2007 22:23

How/where have I been 'bitchy', 'thoughtless', 'nasty' or said anything 'shameful'...my god there's some tetchy people on here.

My comments are fact. They are the truth. We are all entitled to our own opinions.

I have had both my kids off ill (aged 9 & 4) since the end of October. One was rushed into hospital on Monday of this last week - yes 'rushed' whereby I had to call an ambulance. This was due to a severe sickness and diarrhoea bug which she has battled with for many weeks. Her class have been ill with the same bug. Some children go back into school with having been sick just the day before whilst at school.

Now all those that called my comments 'bitchy', 'thoughtless', 'nasty' etc etc - you're going to tell me it's ok to send your kids back to school so soon?

Gingerninja - me? straightforward life? Er definitely NOT. You don't know me. Don't make assumptions.

whispywhisp · 15/12/2007 22:24

katymac - your post says it all.

DeathBySnooSnoo · 15/12/2007 22:28

well,i agree that parents who refuse to pick their child up or have somebody else pick them up are being selfish,from the childs POV.

i wasn't aware that refusing to pick up your child was an option.i would have images of the coppers turning up to arrest me for abandonment if i did that!

bossybaublesinherbritches · 15/12/2007 22:29

WiFi if a nursery has more children than a Cm that is irrelevant!

A sick child is a child that needs to be at home & whilst I know anyone can dose themselves up & keep going for a while ( & we all do as mums)it gets to a point where the children have to go home.

I'll accept any child with a runny nose (god love 'em if we banished snot I'd have an empty nursery 6 months a year!!!) but a poorly child, if they are not themselves,
regardless of what the illness is needs to go and STAY at home.

Katymac that ust havebeen horrendous for you!

Katymac · 15/12/2007 22:31

I now know I could have rung social services after 2 hrs - but it won't happen again - my parents are warned

POOKAingwenceslaslookedout · 15/12/2007 22:33

Katymac. That's outrageous.

WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:33

Actually, you are wrong, if my child is too ill to go to school, but needs the day at home/childminders to rest, they can. No other kids etc. Maybe I am lucky but this can & does happen with my CM. She takes my kids from 6am so is the one who decides. We don't take them if they are ill in the night etc obviously.

I can't always predict that one of my children is going to be ill at any certain point of the day.

WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:34

Don't any of you have kids that go down with something in exactly 1 hour!

whispywhisp · 15/12/2007 22:36

TheYoungVisitTurkey - your post of 20:25.

Who is being judgmental here?

I had no option other than to give up my job - who was going to look after my kids whilst they are ill? I do not have anyone who could step in and care for them whilst I went to work. I could not take them with me. They have both been ill, in bed, with dreadful sickness bugs/extremely high temperatures/laryngitus and a gut infection. I could not keep letting my employer down so had no option but to get my work covered by someone else.

For your information I am not in a 'relatively luxurious position' of giving up my job - the decision was made for me by my kids and their ongoing health problems.

...and whilst I know I need not divulge this - for your information also we are heavily overdrawn and are living off credit cards until such time as I can get back into employment, hopefully in the New Year.

Hardly the 'luxurious position' you seem to think I live in, eh?

bossybaublesinherbritches · 15/12/2007 22:39

Wel yes I've toughened up on that too Katymac- a lesson learned eh?

Another thing that horrified me is having to refuse to have a child back in nursery at 8 am who I sent home the afternoon before at 4pm!!

I suspected she was full of chest/ear infection & persuaded mum to get an emergency Gp appt &he agreed & started her on antibiotics. Her parents could NOT see why I was reluctant to have her in!! Th attitude was I've paid for this place I'm not taking time off work. I was so furious I said if that was their priority I would gladly refund the days fees but still refuse to have the tot in as she was ill.

Happily this is NOT a regular scenario & most of my other parents are very sensible about sickness issues.

We have now stated in the policy that we MUST have 24 hours before resuming if they start medication from GP.

WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:43

So much for working Mothers/SAHM Mothers eh?

I wish I could stay at home. Reading this makes me feel very very guilty.

DaphneHarvey · 15/12/2007 22:44

Mumzyof2 - you might think I am being pedantic but I am trying to make a really important point. I am not wound up; I've got enough going on in RL to have this thread in perspective.

But when things get heated on here its generally because posters get upset and up in arms and flounce about over things that haven't actually been said. Deeply hurtful and upsetting things are flung back at people who haven't said what they are being accused of. I wish we could all take a little more care to listen sometimes, even though this format does not involve the use of ears.

Katymac - I admire you for doing the letter with the 4 weeks notice thing.

bossybaublesinherbritches · 15/12/2007 22:47

Wifi- of course we do - it's the way kids are they go up & down like yo-yos!!

But I think what the OP & others are saying is that having taken them home they need to STAY at home for a good day or two to knock whatever bug is its on the head not least because THEY will pick up yet another bug
whilst their defences are down.

Yes you are VERY lucky with your CM as most have more than 1 child & can't give the one to one a sick child needs (with the best will in the world) if they have to do school drops etc

Katymac · 15/12/2007 22:48

& it was a f/t child (that's how upset I was for the little one - who spent 3 hrs sat on DH's knee throwing up watching cbeebies, instead of being at home - I don't think the baby had been sick before & was so upset)

I have started photocopying either my policy or the 'guidance foe schools' & highlighting the relevant section

Original poster
QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 15/12/2007 22:54

I was actually called by my sons nursery once. I sent him in with what I thought was just a cold, and they phoned me and said he had 38.5 in temperature, could I please pick him up. I live nearby so was there within 20 minutes, and he was a sorry sight, so straight to the GP.

My boy has a respiratory condition (not asthma, yet), and when he gets a cold he may often sound horrible, and he needs inhalers to open his airways, as his larynx tightens. A cold for him may very easily turn into a Chest infection, or his larynx may just flatten and he cant breathe.

Bossy, I think many has the same opinion as you mention, "I pay for this nursery place, it is damned expensive, I will get my moneys worth so shall not keep the child home".

As for it being an old wives tale to wrap up warm to avoid colds? Not at all, my gp explained to me that being cold does not give you a cold, but if you are cold, your body's immune system is weakend, so if you have the virus, it WILL break out if you are cold.

OP posts:
Original poster
QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 15/12/2007 22:55

Katymac, that must have been a distressing experience for all concerned, well done on the letter.

OP posts:
WiFi · 15/12/2007 22:56

My CM whom I 'use' is ruthless and sends children to school with much worse symptoms than I do. I suppose having raised 4 healthy kids, now all over the age of 25 and with Grandchildren, she knows best really. I have to say that my youngest gets to go in a real Silver Cross pram and her other young mindee, gets to sit in the top seat. My CM is terribly old fashioned, and her word is God.....

I love my CM.

bossybaublesinherbritches · 15/12/2007 22:58

I bet WiFi!!

Original poster
QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 15/12/2007 23:00

Wifi, I should have a CM like yours...

OP posts:
mumzyof2 · 15/12/2007 23:04

Ok, DaphneHarvey, what about the illnesses that ARNT colds, but are still contagious, A LONG time before there are any sympotoms. Flu? Chicken pox?
ANY illness is in your body at least 24 hours before you show symptoms, so what are mothers meant to do about it? How can you stop a child passing an illness around when you dont even know they have it?!
I dont agree with children going to nursery when theyre ill. My ds has been off for 2 weeks with a terrible cold and cough, however, that was for his benefit, not the other childrens. Illness, no matter what they are, will get passed around at nursery, like it or not. If they dont get it from nursery, they'll get it from someone else. Are you meant to keep them inside forever? You cant! They catch what they catch, and there really isnt much anyone can do about it.