in being upset (pissed off) with parents who bring their obviuosly sick children to the nursery?

[QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball]

Shouldnt a child that is coughing his guts out be home? Or with rosy red feverish cheeks? Why do some parents think it is ok to lumber nursery staff with children so ill they need carrying around all the time? Why do they think it ok to keep passing on the germs to other peoples children?

Whispy, just the point I am trying to make. Other people send their sick kids to school/nursery, and it can have serious consequences, not for them but for others.

Of course, you cannot prevent a child from feeling perfectly find when leaving for school, and then the sicky bug kicks in while they are in school. They should then be quaranteened somewhere till a parent/carer come to pick them up to avoid spreading the bug.

I dont understand the attitude some people have. You see children without socks kicking about in the pushchair in really cold winter conditions, they are coughing and spluttereing, wearing hardly any clothes. In nurseries you see goo hanging off their noses, they cough and splutter. I even so a mum with a baby in a car carry cot, the baby did not even have a hat on. It was around 0, 6 pm at the tennis courts.

What is this British obsession with "catching as many bugs as possible to strenghten your immune system"?

I cant spell this morning. Feeling FINE not find. And 0 degrees

Prehaps the baby had pulled the hat and socks off and lost them.

Snowsuits are a wonderful invention for kids who won't wear socks. Its a pity they don't do them in six year old sizes. Prehaps with tapes (straight jacket like?) to stop pesky kids taking them off

My son is refusing to wear socks or a jumper. He has compromised and agreed to wear a vest. He has some slippers, but won't wear them either.

I notice that no-one has actually been able to name a nursery that unquestioningly accepts truly ill children from we 'selfish' working mothers & fathers....

Far easier to deal in lazy stereotypes and bash people, the health/sock-wearing inclination of whose children you actually know nothing about.

As others have stated over the last 6 pages, it's all the healthy-looking ones who are most likely to be infectious/contagious. Feel free to have a rant about your PFB getting sick, but don't expect to be allowed to make out that parents sending their child to nursery with a cough, sniffle or anything else that falls foul of your judgementalness are somehow inferior to you.

And now I'm going to parp myself (hey, first time ever!) because this is annoying me and I'm currently feeling all Christmassy...

Lovecattle, my sons nursery does it, which you would have realized had you read the thread. But I am not going to name it.

I do to, I spent more time caring for sick children then supporting children last week which is a shame however it is not the kids fault as I understand that parents who work have a hell of a time taking the day off looking after a child who is ill and the only way they can is if the school/nursery contact them at work to collect their child. Crazy situation.

Every parent is different. There are those who don't have a problem sending their clearly poorly child to school/nursery and there are those who prefer to keep them at home and get them better. It is all down to priorities.

For me I prefer to keep my kids at home and get them fully better. It is fairer on them, fairer on their class mates and fairer on their teachers/those responsible for their well-being whilst at school.

I have heard it said many times by friends of mine who have children in the same class - 'oh yeah, x was sick last night but x is ok now and back to school today' and also friends of mine who run a local nursery who have told me they are continually shocked at how quickly children are sent back in after being ill and how reluctant some parents are when they are contacted to come and pick their child up because its been sick....amazing and appalling imo.

You don't need to name nurseries/schools who do this - open your eyes and listen around you...it goes on, hence why kids are regularly off school/nursery - because they are surrounded by germs and bugs being brought in by children who aren't well enough to be in attendance combined with sitting in a stuffy classroom with its heating on high and also children who refuse to wash their hands after going to the toilet etc etc....list is endless.

"Every parent is different. There are those who don't have a problem sending their clearly poorly child to school/nursery and there are those who prefer to keep them at home and get them better. It is all down to priorities. "

That is bitchy even by mumsnet standards.

I suspect that every nursery/ School/ university is full of bugs. A lot of people with the bugs are staff rather than kids.

There is a truely hideous cold going around the school I work at at the moment. I suspect its the teachers who are spreading it.

whispy, what a thoughtless and nasty thing to say, shameful

I think there is a lot of truth in what Whispy is saying.

Wispy, I truly cannot believe that any mother would willingly hand their sick, crying child over to relative strangers just for the pleasure of a day at work.

You are clearly in the relatively luxurious position of being able to give up your job for 6 weeks if you so choose. Your comment that "the money I earnt went towards my food shopping every week" speaks volumes. For many women if they don't earn money then there is NO food, since their salary pays the whole thing. Not to mention the rent/mortgage, the bills, the clothes, oh, and the childcare as well.

Count your blessings and stop being so judgemental.

It is a very ego centric view. I need money, I take my sick child to the nursery because I need to earn. Not ONE thought for the earning potential to the next mum, and not one thought for the next child infected.

We all need money, that is why we work.

I send my children to nursery when they are ill. Christ, if I didn't I'd be unable to leave the house for 6 months of the year! Children do get ill, whatever us awful thoughtless parents do. That's what we have an immune system for...

It may be egocentric - or it may be simply that these people are in a situation without any other choice they can make. Without knowing the background you can't possibly say.

Personally I think it's pretty egocentric and selfish to say "well I am lucky enough to be in a secure position, with employers who understand my childcare needs, with back up and contingency plans and I will therefore despise any parent not in the same situation."

Well, that is not my position, as I have explained already.

"We all need money, that is why we work"

However some people need money more than others.

There is a difference between a single mother being forced to give up work and someone missing a bit of pin money.

If your house ends up being repossessed and you end up being in a B & B because you are homeless then your child will suffer.

Imagine someone on mumsnet posting.

"I was forced to give up work because my two year old had a series of colds. I felt it was immoral to send him to nursery. Our house was reposessed and now my son has pluisory from living in a small damp room with cockroaches. The lady at the council thinks it will be at least before we are rehoused.

Do you think I should find another job?"

Mothers are dammed if they do and dammed if they don't.

There is an awful lot of smugness on this thread.
It's been a while since I've seen a thread full of so many people polishing their halos whilst chucking stones at others

Glad the likes of Whispy have such straight forward lives. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes and all that. Would I be more irresponsible for making my family homeless because I can't pay the mortgage or because I send my DD to nursery with a snotty nose and cough? Oh and yes, some of us do care that we do it.

I remember when I was young my mum used to leave me at home on my own if I'd been sent home ill so she could finish her shift because we needed the money. She didn't like doing that either and I hated it but I understood. These days, people get so wrapped up in their own pointless existence that they make no effort to understand other peoples difficulties. However, these are the same people that probably give 'those poor people in Africa' a goat on behalf of their friends for Christmas. Yeah because that proves their charitable.

Think I'm coming to the end of my relationship with mumsnet. I'm sick of the lack of empathy. That or I'm off back to the sleep pages where people are more friendly.

Merry Christmas to Baby Dragon and all her siblings.

gingerninja, that was very well said.
I hope you stay around.

Reallytired and Kitty, I couldn't agree more.

I think I am going to parp myself from this thread as I there's clearly not much more to say - considering it's the season of charity and goodwill to all there's not much on this thread.

gingerninja,

I hope you don't think I don't understand. I think that the people who don't understand have far too much time on their hands. When they are not surfing the web they are watching daytime TV or eating chocolate.

They snide at working mothers because they are jelous that they are unemployable!

PS great post ginga - we cross-posted. That was what I was trying to say but you said it so much better.

I guess we just have to agree to disagree. But taking a sick child to the nursery is likely to put another struggling mum in the same predicament if her child falls ill too. And that is where I have a problem.

People are upset because their right to lumber others with their sick children is questioned? And ask for empathy? And say we have this position because we are smug? Our lives are so straight forward? What do you know? Never have I seen so many one sided posts, and posters completely unable to themselves "walk a mile in others shoes" on a single thread.