in being upset (pissed off) with parents who bring their obviuosly sick children to the nursery?

[QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball]

Shouldnt a child that is coughing his guts out be home? Or with rosy red feverish cheeks? Why do some parents think it is ok to lumber nursery staff with children so ill they need carrying around all the time? Why do they think it ok to keep passing on the germs to other peoples children?

I'm not sure you can really blame the nursery - after all, they get paid whether or not the child is sick. Our nursery is absolutely firm on not allowing ill children to stay on site.

I think a lot of this is looking for someone to blame. Kids get sick - whoever passed it onto your kids got it passed onto them. Most of the time, by the time a child starts looking/acting sick or even getting a temperature, it's way past the stage where they were contagious!

good point cashncarry

All children should have their immune systems developed by frequent contact with Other Peeople's Germs

The nursery could however try to eliminate the bad bugs going around by good hygiene standards (esp with d&V )and using their knowledge on telling parents what to looking out for with certain illness's and keeping parents informed and advised.

DS' nursery has a sickness policy - fever, D&V, specific illnesses like chickenpox etc all have stated amounts of time to keep your DC away. They also let the parents know when there is anything infectious going round (I still don't know who DS got his chickenpox from because I rang all our toddler groups and nursery the minute the spots showed, to warn everyone -but AFAIK none of the other kids he was in contact with actually got it that time. Admittedly becasue half of them had already had it, of course...) But there's also the fact that kids can manifest signs of illness that you know are not infectious - DS had some vile nappies the other day but I knew that was due to him having eaten 3 Organix fruit pots and 3 bananas the night before.

MadameZ - Please don't tell the fruitiloops at the 10/10/10 club.

It would disturb them.

I was brought up that unless you are physically throwing up there isn't anything wrong with you
Maybe the mother of this child sent him in because she didn't want him to miss out on the Christmas party.
If the nursery thought he was a problem they shouldn't have let him in or called his parents to collect him.
I am a WOHM and send my kids in if the aren't feeling 100% but tell the nursery/school to call me if they need to but they haven't yet. I do this partly because they are getting to an age where they say they aren't well to stay home.
Most of the bugs they have caught are likely to have been from the nursery anyway.
Hand foot and mouth was going round the nursery the other day and the nursery told me that even if dd had it she wouldn't need to be kept off as they usually have been infected 3-7 days before the symptoms appear.
I am lucky that my employer is quite flexible and understands if I need to be at home with one of the kids but also dh will stay off if he knows I have a busy day that I can't take time off.

Is this all pfb crap?

As Kathy, Madamez and others have asked - who are these 'money-grabbing' nurseries that take in sick children and don't ring their parents the instant the child is a bit 'off'?

I've been called on innumerable occasions to come and take my child home NOW because she has a temperature of 37.1 (anything above 37 and they call), like Kathy I was called out 4 times for suspected chickenpox before it actually got dd...

I would like people to name these (I suspect entirely apocryphal) nurseries where this isn't the policy. If a child is on antibiotics at dd's nusery, they are not allowed back in til 4 days into the course. Like Madamez's nursery, they have strict time exclusions depending on the illness (and yes, I too have been called out of a meeting for dd's headlice!)

I'm lucky in that I work in an industry with generous holiday allowances, (although thanks to the aforementioned I have but 1 day left this year, I'm praying dd doesn't cop something serious in the next 2 weeks!) but many aren't and if we were to keep children off for simply having the sniffles (and those of you who honestly think working mothers regularly send their children into nursery when they're really properly poorly are off your judgemental heads) then the child would never be in nursery and we'd all be at home anyway, having lost our jobs.

And breathe....

What is a calpol cowboy, exactly?

flu and d&v - yes keep them off
a cough and a cold - no, unless they are needing one to one care - then they should be at home.

Am fairly sure that when all the stuff from Europe which came through about 8 years ago, eg parental leave etc, DID have allowances for parents to take time off work when children were ill (not the 13 week parental leave, but 10 days or so to be taken when child was ill, so working parents could stay at home with them)

CBI moaned so much, Britain wouldn't sign up to it, but it went ahead in other European countries (I think-not 100% sure).

But it was definitely in all the initial legislation

Hence why dd2 has been kept off nursery for the last two weeks - fed up with bug after bug coming home from nursery where there are clearly kids that are too poorly to be there and for my dd's sake, and ours, we've kept her off until the New Year.

BTW the nursery told me you would be surprised at what kids come into nursery with and how soon they are sent back after d&v and how slow parents are to pick them up - some even ask if they can stay there until its home-time after throwing up!

Sorry but apart from being extremely selfish parents they are also, deliberately, allowing the bugs to pass around to the likes of my kids! Cheers.

So how does this work once kids go to school? Is it any different?

My DS has been home for the week from nursery - he's been really hot, wan, sleeping a lot, but no "dramatic" illness like vomiting etc. He's due to go to school in Jan (sob!) and I'm wondering what I should have done if he had been at school now, not nursery?

I'm trying to instil the "good attendance" ethic into him (he's not particularly keen on the hullabaloo of nursery and would prefer to stay at home all the time) by saying he MUST go to school unless he's really ill, but how does being generally low fit in?

I'm a complete newbie regarding school, so please don't shout at me!

Well my other dd who is almost 9 has been on and off school for the last 6 weeks with a persistant diarrhoea bug - she got rushed into hosp on Monday due to collapsing. She is much better and could go back next week but I'm keeping her off until the New Year also. Whilst the school aren't overly keen on her being kept off I'm her Mum and I will make the final decision.

At one point during her 6 weeks of being ill half of her class were off with the same bug.

It is a known fact that kids go back to school too quickly after being ill - all schools should have a policy whereby every child who is sick is kept off for a certain length of time - ours is 24hrs, which imo is not long enough. DD1 can come home and say 'so and so' was sick in class today and had to go home and then I see that same child in the playground the following day! There are some parents that follow the 24/48hr rule and there are obviously some parents that don't yet the school won't insist that child stays away from school...it's a case of that's what they'd like the parents to ensure.

TBH I don't know about schools in general re sickness because my dd's episodes have been backed up with the offer of providing GP notes and hospital records.

VickyA - in answer to your question re ds and what would you do if he were poorly whilst at school - you'd do the same - keep him off. You're the Mum - you know best - if he's low with a temperature etc he'll be more vulnerable and more likely to pick up whatever other bugs there may be in class at the same time.

I think it is true that we define sick differently, but I also think our definition of what is an ill child is coloured by our own circumstances. If it is convenient for us to keep the child home, we can easily say, "oh he is too ill for nursery", and if we have an important meeting, or a deadline, we may take a look at the child and say "sure, he is fit for nursery/school".

My friend had not read up on our school policy, and sent her son in after 24 hours (vomiting bug) and she got a call pronto to come and pick him up. When he arrived in, they had sent him straight to "the sick
bay", so away from the class.

My oldest son was looking a bit white in the face and complained that he felt a little nauseaus before the bell rang, and headmistress walked past, and she said I should take him home. I did. He did not have the bug, but it was better to err on the side of caution.

My youngest sons nursery seems to have no clear cut policies, and there is no information (one of the reasons I am taking him out of there and moving him to a new one). They are not informing about illnesses, I have spoken to parents who have confirmed to me that their child has a vomiting bug, CP, or hand foot mouth, but if you question the nursery, they dont know it. I have seen a child vomit on the premises, been told, oh, no there is no bug going, she is just choking on paint (!!!), or some other excuse.

School is not a free childcare facility. Children attend to learn, not to be looked after when they are ill.

The parents' personal circumstances are absolutely irrelevant. SICK CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE IN SCHOOL.

With regards to schools and sickness policy, not only is it often imossible for parents to take unlimited time off work to look after mildy off-colour or recovering-from-something children, but in the current lcimate of endless testing, panic and pressure on even primary school children, parents are going to be afraid that the DC miss some vital aspect of their education by staying off school too long. As usual, though, it's the smuggoes with either secure jobs or a comfortable level of income who are having an ignorant pop at everyone else.

Well, Madamez, I am having "a pop", but I am neither a smuggo nor with very secure income. Which is why I care greatly if my child goes to nursery and picks up stuff from sick children there, my job situation is highly unstable at the moment, we run our own struggling business. I dont send my children to school / nursery if they are ill, I prefer to care for them at home, and I would hope other parents also do that. I really cannot afford to have my son sick again and again, just other parents think it is ok to send their sick children to the nursery.

Fircome, I said "we", but did not mean me personally. It was rhetorical. I think that is what many do. Adjust the view of "what is sick" or "what is too sick" to their personal preferences and circumstances.

but quint, as others have said your child is probably NOT catching stuff off the kids who look visibly sick, they are catching it off the kids who are incubating something but currently look fine.

The only way to insulate your child from germs is to keep THEM at home.

on a tangent, I am longing to be a Calpol Cowboy - how do I sign up? I think Calpol are missing a marketing trick. I am seeing a very snazzy ad campaign here; yummy mummy wearing a pink stetson and pink cowboy boots riding a swinging rodeo horse, shout line something like "when you can't afford to take a fall at work, let Calpol take the strain". I may suggest it to Calpol. Cod, I will ask them to pay you a royalty should it take off.

Lol.. My son is a calpol junkie. He is devestated that Calpol is for children under 6 years old. Is there a calpol equivalent for 6 year olds?

When I think he is trying to pull a fast one and get a day off school I offer him Medised. It tastes truely foul. If he is prepared to swallow it then I think he isn't faking it and needs to be at home.

Personally I think if an older child needs calpol/ medised/ whatever then they are probably too ill for school. However Calpol is a godsend for a teething baby.

Just to add to this....I have had to give my lovely job up for the last 6 weeks whilst I've been nursing my kids - both have been very poorly - the bugs have jumped between the two and both of which have been at home more than at school. My employer said they needed my work covered so I've had to jack my job in. Yes we're very very skint as a result - the money I earnt went towards my food shopping every week but my kids and their health is more important than anything else, including work.

Reallytired - Calpol6+ is for kids 6 and over - excellent stuff.