in being upset (pissed off) with parents who bring their obviuosly sick children to the nursery?

[QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball]

Shouldnt a child that is coughing his guts out be home? Or with rosy red feverish cheeks? Why do some parents think it is ok to lumber nursery staff with children so ill they need carrying around all the time? Why do they think it ok to keep passing on the germs to other peoples children?

There's a world of difference between a child with a common cold and a child with flu or V&D.

It's for the parents to decide whether to send a child to the nursery and for the nursery to decide whether or not they'll accept the child and every other parent should suck it up buttercup.

If the nursery has accepted a child that has a slight illness and you don't like it then find another nursery or other childcare. It isn't any of your business - and the argument that your child is going to catch it and be unwell doesn't work.
They are just as likely to become ill from being in the supermarket or on the bus as in daycare - so unless you become a hermit they will be ill at some point.

oh right - sorry, I had read the thread but the break comment was so far down I didn't realise you were replying to it.

Another thing to bear in mind is that with many illnesses it's actually advantageous to get them as early as possible. Chickenpox for eg scars very badly if caught later in life. Personally I am desperate for DS to catch chickenpox before I get pregnant with number 2 and I'm practically rubbing him against infectious children at present.

Personally I don't send DS to nursery when he's sick for multiple reasons but mostly because I would rather he be with his mummy and I am lucky that my work is good about that kind of thing, but I certainly don't stress about other children and the state of their health. I think there is an idealogical divide here between those who think "euch, germs, arg, must keep my child pristine and germ free at all costs" and those who think "if they don't get it at nursery they'll get it in the supermarket so who cares".

I am excepting children of course with medical conditions like CF but as others have said, if a child is immuno compromised then a communal nursery is probably not the best childcare choice.

can I just change the track of this thread ever so slightly? I'm fairly new to MN so don't know if this has been picked up elsewhere but what are your thoughts on the following scenarios:
A friend of mine discovered that a baby in her church creche one Sunday had a chest infection and was on antibiotics. Another friend regularly finds babies with colds/bugs in the creche at her gym.
As the mum of a CF baby I know I need to think very carefully about childcare options before going back to work but I had hoped that in the instances described above where there is no financial or employment incentive to putting an ill child into a creche, that parents would take a more responsible attitude. Am I living on Planet La La?

Once you've been taking antibiotics for 24 hours then usually the risk of passing on an infection is greatly diminished. I would send a child to school 24 hours after starting antibiotics for an ear infection or chest infection as long as they weren't running a temperature and were ok in themselves.

If your child has CF then a nanny or childminder would be a better option for your child because infection control in larger group settings is so difficult.

just popped back on to see what is going on before I head o to work...thought it might end up like this! Just to clarify as I posted early and early posts have been cited as seeming a bit OTT that I was angry at children with hand foot and mouth being sent to nursery as it is still contagious when the lessions have appeared (unlike many other illnesses), it can have serious implications for other children and it is not an infection that nurseries can exclude children with, despite some of them being, what I would classify as, very poorly with it.

I'm a nursery owner.

Runny noses, minor coughs and bright eyes are welcomed.

Hacking coughs, fevers, anything obviously infectious and ill looking children are not.

And cod is right about the 'Calpol Cowboys.'

I was reading recently about a nursery in London that has satellite 'sick rooms' away from the main play areas,where parents can bring 'too sick to be in the main area, but well enough to be at nursery' children.

Not sure how that would work, though.

mrspnut, what I'm trying to get my head around is allowing my LO to live as normal as life as possible by going to birthday parties, church creches etc ie anywhere outside of the regular Mon - Fri childcare system without feeling every time she walks through the door that she is going to come into contact with ill children who perhaps need not be there. Yes I know she could end up sitting in front of someone on the bus who's just coming down with the flu but that's a calculated risk I would chose to take. The childcare issue whilst I am at work (if that's what I end up doing) is obviously a huge concern and it does seem that a nursery is not going to be the best way forward. Shame really as she would probably benefit from everything a nursery could offer - apart from the bugs of course!!

What a farking ridiculous thread - imagine starting a conversation about people sending sick kids to school/nursery and it degenerating into a SAHM/WOHM argument

Anyway, all you people who go to the nursery and see all the "sick" kids coughing their poor little hearts out - how do you know what's wrong with them then? Are you all doctors? Have you taken their temperatures? Do you know if they were acting that way when their parents dropped them off?

do you know there's moaners on every level of life? mums who moan that other mums don't care about their kids enough to take time off and workers who moan because working mums come in when they're sick because they have to save their sick days for their kids!

And before someone jumps down my throat and says that those with immuno-deficiency disorders would be at risk, well, without wanting to cause offence, shouldn't vulnerable people ensure they have limited exposure to the outside world, rather than the reverse?

Okay, I'm ranting now and not making much sense but you get my drift!

Ellymae - many people do live with CF, and manage to live life to the full.
If you are worrying about every possible outcome for your child now then you will end up being ill before too long.

Minimise the risks as far as possible, choose your childcare wisely and make sure they understand the risks involved and then just work on accepting the rest.
You could always arrange to go in and look round any creche or party for signs of illness in the children before bringing your child in to minimise the risks of illness. Avoid communal play areas - especially indoor ones because they are always overheated and not particularly hygenic.

thanks mrspnut. Despite how it may seem, I try not worry too much about the future as you're right, it would put me in an early grave as well. This thread just seemed to be an opportunity to think out loud and see what other people thought.

I guess as a first time mum (regardless of the health of my LO)I'm just beginning to learn (and accept) that we all parent in our own little way and that somehow we all have to fit into the same environment!

Sorry - had only read the first half of the thread when I posted and didn't notice your question ellymae - hope you didn't find me insensitive. I guess as a working mum, my hackles were raised by all the perceived criticism

Hope all goes well in your choosing a nursery for your DD

DaphneHarvey,

Have you read my posts? I do think its wrong to send a really sick child into nursery/ school.

But honestly, would you send your child to school with a cold if you were a stay at home mum? If a child is kept of school every time they sneeze then they would get no education. There is a BIG difference between a happy child with a cold and a sick child.

I have never sent a really sick child to nursery or school. I don't think gingerninja or anyone else on this thread advocates doing so.

if the child is fine in its self then o.k (mild cough& cold)but if the child clearly needs comforts of home & mum, as mums we know the diff. the child should stay at home and not pass bad illness around that's when were needed most. Iv'e worked in a nursery with 12m - 18m and i still think of those children who were left poorly i couldn't give my full attention to i had to leave them lying on a cusion sleeping and crying most of the day .i used to get especially when i phoned one mum to collect her child {@ work} and they informed me she had the day off..Had a bad attitude of ho well they all pass it to each other.,& went shopping for the day worst case, but it does happen.

thanks cashncarry!

"as mums we know the difference" - I'm sorry I don't think you do. A quick glimpse of another child as you drop your child off could not possibly give you the chance to diagnose that child even if you were a doctor!

As for all these mixing up anecdotal evidence about experience of working mums who "dump their kids" sounds very smug and judgemental to me. But then, what do I know about anything being a working mum

< you're welcome ellymae - still ranting tho' >

Yes, reallytired, I have read your posts. Have you read mine? Incase you missed it, I summed up my pov in mine of 21.07.44.

I am part-time WOHM/SAHM. So I can see the argument from both sides too.

Since my eldest child was born, almost 7 years ago, I haven't had more than two weeks "break" in any given year.

I don't think my dcs childcarers owe it to me to enable me to have four clear illness-free weeks per year. I truly think that's impossible when you've got two pre-schoolers, wherever they pick up their germs from ...

a question ? why is it always the mums taking time off work when our children is sick ? Having the worry of more time off and (marked down on sickness records).i think dad's should help out with the odd day off when needed but they never seem to.

As it happens, I think a lot of Dads do share the "time off" - DH and I certainly do, today being a case in point.

What's that got to do with these health expert mums who go around passing arbitrary diagnoses on other children? You're not changing the subject are you hodges?

Sorry cashncarry go easy on me i have a new computer and i've only just joined mums net.

I get annoyed at others then have the urge sometimes to put my child in to nursery when he is poss a bit too snotty himself....strange paradox in values i shamefully admit....9we are not talking proper ill health though)

Thank you Hodges!

I am not complaining about parents taking children with colds to the nursery, because most children get colds.

I work part time. I work three days per week. Ish. I say that because I run my own business together with my husband. I work a lot more than just three days per week, but I can only afford childcare three days per week. (Yes, we get tax credits etc) So, The other two days I have to juggle my two children (one in school and one in nursery) like supermum herself and do my job. It genuinely IRKS me to see children who are really sick and contageous in the nursery, as they are clearly NOT comfortable and they may infect MY child.

The parent will not know that the child is really uncomfortable, because the nursery is geared towards making money, and in order to make money, they have to pander to the parents whims and allow sick kids.
Or, the parent will know, but not care much because they have an employer who is not favouring parents.

It is a no-win situation. You EITHER go to work knowing that your child is ill, and at the nursery, OR you get in trouble at work because you stick to your guns and stay home with a sick child. The person who lose in the end? The employee. Or people like me, who make shit nothing being self employed, and lose out even more because we send a healthy child to nursery just so it can catch a bug that most people say is beneficial, but at the end of day day, if you are self employed and struggling, may be the "get paid or not".

Why don't the parents want to keep them at home and mind them if they are sick?

LOL at Hodges - nothing like entering with a bang!

I must admit I got very fed up the first few months DD was at nursery, she (and I) caught every bug in existence and it meant an awful lot of time off work but a few times when I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing taking her to nursery, not because she was really ill I hasten to add. It was just ruddy hard trying to work out if she was being a winge-bag or actually coming down with something. But you just muddle through though, don't you? It never occured to me to worry that other mums were judging me or DH as being bad parents...

I do wish that mums wouldn't judge other mums. I know it sounds really naive but it just depresses me when I hear people say stuff that sounds suspiciously like tarring all WOHMs with the same brush. A bit like saying all SAHMs do is watch Jeremy Kyle and eat chocolate (I'm sure I was the only SAHM to do that!).

yes a clearly sick child should be with their mum/dad/granny whoever not somewhere where they cant poss get the attention they require and where they can infect others

not fair on all involved and obviously the wee sick child!

the prob is everyone defines sick as different - very different sadly hence the debate goes on and on......