in being upset (pissed off) with parents who bring their obviuosly sick children to the nursery?

[QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball]

Shouldnt a child that is coughing his guts out be home? Or with rosy red feverish cheeks? Why do some parents think it is ok to lumber nursery staff with children so ill they need carrying around all the time? Why do they think it ok to keep passing on the germs to other peoples children?

I'm sure they didn't Madamez -of course we don't expect the parents to come straight away & if they're on the other side of town that's fine as long as they are aware of the situation. If anyone was getting grief from work I would always try & be sympathetic & keep the child as long as I could.

I'm sure they didn't Madamez -of course we don't expect the parents to come straight away & if they're on the other side of town that's fine as long as they are aware of the situation. If anyone was getting grief from work I would always try & be sympathetic & keep the child as long as I could.

Damn right madamez!! For staff to assume a parent is neglectful in any such case is unfair and to discuss it with each other or other parents is unprofessional and unkind. I hope that I never have the misfortune to work with such judgemental ppl. We have a small bed which we use for ill children who have a fever or are lethargic where they can lay quietly and wait for parent.

OI would agre it is unprofessional to dicuss a DC with another mother & I would be very angry with any of my staff who did so.

I would never assume a parent is neglectful but some do push the limits more than others (see babbi's story at 14.03)

Taalking of neglect must go & put my dc's to bed!!

bbb I'm disgruntled that you have taken only part of my sentence and therefore changed the meaning of it

I didn't say it's not the parent's responsibility to arrange childcare; I said it's not the parent's responsibility to arrange childcare if the parent has no control over whether they work or not. IMO, if the state forces women to work, then the state must provide the childcare. But as we all know, the state cannot possibly provide childcare for really sick children, so it should stop saying that it is going to force lone parents to work.

It's all very well saying that it won't ever happen because it's unenforceable; the people who want it to happen don't care that things are unenforceable or impossible, they'll do it anyway and then make up the figures to show that it's working well. That's how government works.

God I sound cynical.

I posted earlier, waaaay back in this thread, about a nursery in London that has a 'sick room' away from the main areas for children who are either infectious or feeling too poorly to be able to cope with the general noise of the main nursery. I imagine the take-up rate has been very good after reading here of parents who can't (or won't) collect an ill child from nursery asap.

Not sure how the nursery is managing to staff this room, though. Knowingly exposing your staff to infectious illness? Must be a H&S minefield.

I think it must be really depressing for whichever member of staff has to sit there not being able to offer any comfort to a sick child because s/he's simply not the right person. Talk about lack of job satisfaction, I would hate to be in that position.

And can most nurseries afford to staff a seperate room like that anyway Bauble? Aprt form the H&S issue that is.

Sorry if you think I only took part of your sentence LB but no-one forces a parent to work & I can't really believe te govt would be able to enforce it. It's all hpothtetical anyway as it hasn't happened, I prefer todeal with what we have now-imperfect as it is!

I have to say I agree with you about govt workings & figures- not cynical just realistic!!

I find that the children in my setting tend to bond really well with us, although they want their mum they still want a cuddle off us! One boy regularly says that he loves me! Job satisfaction is incomparable!!!

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When my dd1 was in Year 1 she had her tonsils removed, for a couple of years before that she would be ill about every 6 weeks, whenever I took her to the GP he always said there was no need to keep her off nursery / school if she felt well enough to go. She would often go to nursery / school with a sore throat or a cough.

Sorry I haven't read the thread, yes I have been fed up when dd has caught some illness from a child that's been in when they're ill - BUT there but for the grace of god go I - my company lets me disappear at the drop of a hat when my dd is ill and I know other mums and dads aren't as lucky. I get more p**d off by the 4X4's parking wherever they like in the nursery car park...

BB. Good point.

Lennygirl, my au pair is able to care for either of my children, if needs must. She is my contingency that I as a working parent have. I have a 5 1/2 year old in year 1 and and 2 1/2 year old in nursery, she compliments my total childcare picture, as we have no family who can help out.

This does not mean that just because I have contingency in place, that I think it is ok to come to the nursery to see children vomiting their guts out, feverish children coughing so they can barely catch their breath between coughing fits, and children laying lethargic on cushions in the corner.

I agree completely that working parents must have contingency in place for when their children are ill, and they cannot expect the nursery to do this for them. A child who needs one on one all the time is taking from the care other children receive, and if the child is contageous is causing an unecessary risk to staff and other children.

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Lennygirl, I am changing nurseries. My son is starting a new nursery after Christmas.

I do understand about being between a rock and a hard place, why assume I dont. I did not always have an au pair, but with a husband who works half of the time in Asia, and with no family in this country as we are both from overseas, it is a deed of necessity. I am not well off. You would not believe what my family has to survive on to allow us this necessity, but it is not my place to tell you.

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I have no contingency other than taking time off, UNPAID, when my DS is ill, I have no family closer than 250 miles and would not be able to afford an au pair nor would I want one. My son comes first and if he is ill then I would not even dream of going to work, they can sack me if they want! Its their loss. I can see both your points of view yet believe that some ppl put themselves in front of the proverbial rock uneccessarily.

Back to attacking me now, are we?

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Sometimes I find these aibu threads a bit wearing. I mean I thought the main point of them was to find out who thinks the op is unreasonable and who doesn't - albeit with rationale thrown in for good measure. Yet nearly always the OP gets shirty when a poster says actually yes you are being unreasonable. If you start one of these threads I think you should be prepared for people to give you their opinion and not be defensive when they do.

I am hightlighting something that I find really sad, really sick children being left in nurseries. I am trying to explore why this happens. This thread is discussing it from the point of view of nursery workers and managers, and other parents. There has been a lot of valuable input.

It has happened far too often at my sons (soon to be former) nursery that really sick children are there. This has lead me to question why. Is it a "fault" of the parent, or the nursery?
On the last occasion it was the managers own toddler who was carried around by a member of staff, and by her own admission was not responding to calpol. I do understand that it is hard for parents to take parental leave, even if it is a legal right, both for fear of creating ill will with employers, and for the fact it is unpaid. Too little is done to ensure that both parents (or rather mums, tbh, as it is usually mums who give up work to be a stay at home parent) can work.

Childcare cost a lot of money, taking time of sick cost money too. It is a no-win situation, and it saddens me deeply. Nothing should be more obvious than for a child to be home and cared for by family, without parents having to risk their jobs, or have financial losses for doing so.

It is definitely a no-win situation, I agree.

Of course children should come before anything. And parents should be able to take time-off to care for a sick child without using up AL or losing salary. But employers can not be expected to bear the brunt, especially small businesses.

If the government were to fund some 'sick children days' in the same way that SMP is funded(ie. an employer can reclaim the costs)it would make a difference. Nurseries have to charge for days off sick as staff, overheads etc still have to be paid.

Not sure what the answwer is, TBH

i remember staying in the san a lot at school when i was poorly. my mum couldn't drive so i would often have to wait there until someone was able to collect me. the nurses all looked after me - i didn't mind being there. i think it would be good if the government could give funding to nurseries who provided a sick room facility. it probably wouldn't cost that much. one extra member of staff who worked wherever in the nursery who could then move over to the sick room if needed. one nursery worker's wage divided by the amount of children in the nursery probably wouldn't add a very noticable amount onto each child's fees.

I would hesitate to fund a person whose job was to look after infection ill children

eVEN IF THEY TOOK IT IN TURNS IT WOULD BE HARD TO TELL SOMEONE TO SIT IN A ROOM WITH A CHILD THROWING UP(WHoops capitals - sorry) when either they or they & their children will eventually get the illness - H&S wouldn't like that - the risk assessment would be a nightmare